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Husbands secret stash

(218 Posts)
pitsandpeaks Thu 21-Jul-16 20:56:15

I don't know if I should laugh, scream or roll my eyes....

Few months ago I found a huge stash of socks under mine and DHs bed, thought I'd finally solved the weird odd sock problem I seem to have. A month later and it was back but this time I noticed the socks were crisp and solid at the end, didn't take me long to figure out Dh has obviously been using get the picture anyway I mentioned to him that I'd found them and I wasn't happy to be cleaning up after him in general but that this was taking it to another level and thought that would be the last of it.hmm

It's not-----there is always some there and I've had to scream at him about it recently, I'm not comfortable with ignoring it because they are under the bed we both sleep on and it's just really unsanitary, today I've come home and there is a used condom in its wrapper and 3 socks nearby.

I'm aware it's perfectly healthy and normal to masterbate, but surely cleaning up after yourself is part and parcel of this? I feel like this is a problem moms with teenagers have to deal with not their husbands, but maybe I'm just being unreasonable and I should just bin/ put in wash and move on with the next gazillion household chores I seem to be lumbered with? I have fury right now but maybe it's misplaced.angry

I really wanted to title this secret spunky sock stash but I chickened out!

anyoldname76 Thu 21-Jul-16 20:58:18

err thats disgusting , nothing wrong with masterbating but he should clean up after himself

isthistoonosy Thu 21-Jul-16 21:00:03

Id just tell bin them and ignore it tbh. He must have been dealing with this before you found out, let him carry on as he was.

NeedACleverNN Thu 21-Jul-16 21:00:57

Is your husband 15?!

What the fuck is wrong with doing it in a tissue. Why has he got to use a freaking sick?

Dirty git. He needs to clean up his own mess and stop using socks!

ivykaty44 Thu 21-Jul-16 21:01:16

Buy some wet wipes and put then put by the bed with a box of dainty tissue...? And a waste bin with a liner

MrsTerryPratchett Thu 21-Jul-16 21:01:53

Bleugh that's just bleugh. Does he want you to throw away his toilet paper and nail clippings as well?

When I had a small disagreement with DH about work out gear and sweaty underwear, he was told if it happened again, he would find then wrapped around his pillow.

Pillowcase full of spunk socks?

molyholy Thu 21-Jul-16 21:02:26

Urgh. Nothin wrong witj having a wank, but leaving dried apunk socks and used condoms around is fucking gross and disrespectful. If he doesn't clean it up, who does he think will do it! YOU! esp when you have told him about it. You should put them on his pillow and repeat until he gets the message.

MrsTerryPratchett Thu 21-Jul-16 21:03:06

If he can wank, he can buy his own tissues and waste bin FFS!

Buggers Thu 21-Jul-16 21:03:29

Why was he masturbating with a condom on?! Yeah the socks are grim though.

DamsonGinIsMyThing Thu 21-Jul-16 21:05:57

That's fucking rank.
He can have as many wanks as he fancies IMO but to leave jizz sodden socks for you to deal with is just disgusting.
I'm sure he wouldn't appreciate it if you just flung your used tampons in the corner of the bathroom.

BusStopBetty Thu 21-Jul-16 21:08:38

Bin them. Every single one. He'll hopefully get the message when he doesn't have any socks left. Or stick a picture of his mother in his sock drawer.

Chinks123 Thu 21-Jul-16 21:12:20

BusStopBetty brilliant idea grin

But seriously OP, I can deal with wet towels and boxers lying around angry but crusty socks and condoms is disgusting and it would really turn me off to have to clean it up.

DuckAndPancakes Thu 21-Jul-16 21:14:28


I believe it's called a posh wank.

pitsandpeaks Thu 21-Jul-16 21:17:40

I've binned a lot...he went out and got more, which is actually the first time in his life he has gone and brought his own.
I thought masturbating with a condom was fairly normal, if it's not then I've obviously got more to worry about. I reckon his done it in some twisted way to stop using the socks after I screamed at him.

I would love to sabotage his pillow in some way unfortunately I'd probably roll over and face plant it instead. He doesn't go and fetch the socks from his drawer, they'll be the ones he was wearing that day, that his left on the floor.

Did I mention he is a tramp?angry

Buggers Thu 21-Jul-16 21:19:27

A posh wankgringrin.
If he likes the socks that much tell him to bin them after use - on the plus side you know what to buy him for Christmas and birthdaysgringrin.

honeylulu Thu 21-Jul-16 21:26:37

Put up a rotary drier in your front garden and peg the crusty socks from it for all to see.

IJustAteTheKidsFoodAgain Thu 21-Jul-16 21:28:57

Can you embroider something onto every sock 'please don't make me crusty'? Or perhaps, if you're very talented, a picture of his mum following on from PPs suggestion?

IJustAteTheKidsFoodAgain Thu 21-Jul-16 21:29:45

Or put fake cctv up in the room. That would be off putting surely?

LindyHemming Thu 21-Jul-16 21:31:06

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Shizzlestix Thu 21-Jul-16 21:32:10

Get him a penis beaker!! grin

grumpysquash3 Thu 21-Jul-16 21:34:31

Is he using the socks to wipe up?
Or is he putting the sweaty sock on like a knitted baggy condom and then getting started?
<misses point of thread while struggling to comprehend>

CoolCarrie Thu 21-Jul-16 21:35:47

The penis beaker raising it head again, as it were....😀

TheDowagerCuntess Thu 21-Jul-16 21:37:54


Just when you think you've read it all on here.

MayhemandMadness Thu 21-Jul-16 21:39:06

The immature me would rub chilli in his socks. The grown up mature me would use itching powder grin


user1468138738 Thu 21-Jul-16 21:41:08



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