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DD's refusing to wear a bra, her Head of Year is saying she isn't allowed at school.

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MNHQ have commented on this thread.

EmmelineW Thu 21-Jul-16 15:40:57

DD is 14 (Yr 9) she tried a bra at 12, hated it and has refused to wear one since. She did try a sports bra, which she wore a couple of times in the day but now refuses and would only wear for PE. She's very confident and popular, so it hasn't ever caused any teasing (she normally makes a joke and is very vocal about not wearing one, she says that if she wasn't, she would be bullied because of it).

She had PE today, which was the first lesson she refused to wear her sports bra, she was told to not take part by her PE teacher - her PE teacher is very 'down with the kids' and mentioned it to her privately.

I would just like to say, previously to this, I was called in to make sure that she had a female role model to talk to about periods/bras as it had come to their attention, that was all cleared up.

Head of Year sent her home today because of it and said she isn't allowed back until she wears one, as it's put under the same category as having a short skirt. Where do we stand with this? Does it come under uniform issues? I'm not really sure what they're saying she can't come back for rule wise.

Welshmaenad Thu 21-Jul-16 15:43:15

I think they can enforce it under uniform policy if the boys are also sent home for not wearing one. angry

Jesus Christ. I would be going apoplectic.

Buggers Thu 21-Jul-16 15:44:12

What?! Are the tops quite see through like they used to be? I could see why if she is quite big busted but can't she get away with best underneath top?

dementedpixie Thu 21-Jul-16 15:45:10

What bra size is she? Big breasts should be supported during pe or they will sag/hurt. Don't know the legalities of being forced to wear one though. What about a supportive crop top instead?

Jessesbitch Thu 21-Jul-16 15:45:14

My first thought WTAF? I rarely wear one. What size is she? If she is large enough to 'need' a bra for PE then is probably in her best interest. But the rest of the time surely its up to her?

When I 'have' to wear one I go for M&S girls non wired. These are quite comfy.

whois Thu 21-Jul-16 15:45:24

Well I suppose as a society we have decided that a woman's breasts and nipples shouldn't be visible in a professional (like work or school) environment.

So wearing a white school shirt where you can see her nipples probably isn't ideal, as 'unfair' as that might be versus male nipples.

Can't she just wear a white vest top or something under her shirt? Or a little cami or bralette that is comfortable?

ScarletOverkill Thu 21-Jul-16 15:45:34

I agree with Buggers could she wear a vest or cami top underneath?

EmmelineW Thu 21-Jul-16 15:45:54

I'll answer in a sec, I'm just out at the mo

GoEasyPudding Thu 21-Jul-16 15:47:59

She could try a Sloggi bra. Very comfy.

Buggers Thu 21-Jul-16 15:48:29

I suppose if her breasts are quite visable then it may be a bit awkward for some of the boys.. especially if she's shouting out she hasn't got a bra on and making it obvious. Surprised the school is making such a fuss though!

WorraLiberty Thu 21-Jul-16 15:48:40

Why is she 'very vocal about not wearing one'?

JackieAndHyde4eva Thu 21-Jul-16 15:48:47



No way in hell would i be taking that lying down. Does she fuck have to wear a bra. I am so angry for her right now. How fucking dare they. angry up to you whether you cave to this or not but i sure as hell wouldnt. I'd be kicking up the almightiest row.

Pinkheart5915 Thu 21-Jul-16 15:49:31

I think if the school blouse/ PE top is see through? then that is an issue. Sure,y that's the only time the school could 'enforce' it

What about a vest top underneath? I think you can even get supported ones. Has she tried all varies of bras? Even as an adult there is only 1 type of bra I can wear.

If she's got big boobs ( I did have at 14) I don't see how she can be comfy doing PE/ exercise without one tbh.

pleasemothermay1 Thu 21-Jul-16 15:49:34

Sorry I don't agree at all I have a 16 year old son and I would imagine my sons school wouldn't be impressed if he refused to wear pants hand had is penis swinging about
Nor would I

Sorry but I am with the school she clearly has a large bust or nobaody would of noticed she will. Draw unwanted attention possibly be teased and or bullied

It's about being approite and dressing for the occasion

You put kickers and and a bra on when out or at the very least a sports bra

And this is a life lesson she will get a Shock when entering the working world you can't not dress how you like

When your at home or self employed dress how you wish

JackieAndHyde4eva Thu 21-Jul-16 15:50:32

I suppose if her breasts are quite visable then it may be a bit awkward for some of the boys.

What, like all those poor boys in america who cant concentrate knowing that girls have shoulders? hmm the boys have eyes that move. They need to move them if they find the natural female form "awkward".

RestlessTraveller Thu 21-Jul-16 15:50:36

I don't understand why she won't wear one. Surely it's far more comfortable to wear one for PE at least. Also I really don't get a teenage girl being very vocal about not wearing one, could this be more about attention seeking?

bloodyteenagers Thu 21-Jul-16 15:50:55

Theres also the scientific stuff produced last year about not wearing bras is better.

pleasemothermay1 Thu 21-Jul-16 15:51:17

Sadly I know she would be the talk of my daughters school

A11TheSmallTh1ngs Thu 21-Jul-16 15:51:25

If she has large breasts she can actually do physical damage to herself by exercising without one.

I'm just thinking about what it would be like if my male boss decided he wasn't comfortable wearing underwear and I had to see the outline of his penis every time I spoke to him. Would probably take it to a tribunal tbh.

zoobeedoo Thu 21-Jul-16 15:51:53

I work in a high school. Is it possible that she is causing embarrassment /making others uncomfortable? Before I get flamed, and sorry to be graphic, but remember schools are already a hot bed of teenage lust and bare nipples poking through a shirt or blouse is quite possibly a major distraction for 50% of the classroom. I would second the vest top/cami/sports crop top suggestions.

JackieAndHyde4eva Thu 21-Jul-16 15:52:23

You put kickers and and a bra on when out or at the very least a sports bra

You might, you dont speak for others. Your personal standard is not the standard. Dress yourself, let others worry about their own clothes.

VeryBitchyRestingFace Thu 21-Jul-16 15:52:30

Sorry I don't agree at all I have a 16 year old son and I would imagine my sons school wouldn't be impressed if he refused to wear pants hand had is penis swinging about

You seem confused.

There is no suggestion this girl's breasts are "swinging about". She has dispensed with a bra, not a blouse/jumper.

As a compromise would she wear a vest with support.

In terms of whether or not the school can send her home that would partly depend on the wording of the uniform policy. However, I thought there were quite strict rules about the process for excluding a child from school even temporarily. Have you received anything in writing from the school?

LanaDelRayRay Thu 21-Jul-16 15:53:32

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JackieAndHyde4eva Thu 21-Jul-16 15:53:39

Why are people comparing genitals with breasts? confused

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