AIBU to think that my perfect relationship is cursed?(22 Posts)
For the last seven months I have been in what can only be described as the most perfect relationship ever.
Before I met DP I never believed in true love, soul mates or love at first sight.
We met through online dating, as soon as he messaged me I knew he was something special, we clicked immediately, met a week later and have been together ever since.
We have everything in common, we agree on everything, we are always thinking the same thing, we are always feeling exactly the same way, but it's not annoying or boring, it's just easy and lovely. We both think the other is utterly amazing as are completely besotted.
I think I fell in love with him the first time I met him but I just didn't realise at the time, but now I know, I feel like I have always loved him.
He is absolutely the most perfect person I've ever met, not in a too good to be true kind of way, he's not perfect perfect, but he is perfect for me.
Since we started dating he has been ill a lot, before our relationship he was healthy, only having the occasional cold, but since we met he's had one virus, illness or bug after another. It got to the point where his GP is sent him for tests because she thought he may have some kind of autoimmune disease.
Since start of our relationship I have been injured on an almost weekly basis, the first week we started dating I fell and broke my wrist, that was the first time I ever broke a bone, since then I have broken two more. I am always covered in bumps, scrapes and bruises from accidents and injuries, it's so bad that someone from HR requested a meeting to discuss my bruises because several colleagues had expressed concerns that I was always hurt, they asked me if anything was wrong and if anybody was doing it to me, basically they thought DP was abusing me as its all been since the start of our relationship.
Today I had another accident and have cut my leg quite nastily, DP is off work again today as he has another virus.
As I laid on the sofa sobbing in pain after I fell it suddenly dawned on me that we could be cursed.
It sounds ridiculous but this has all been since we started our relationship, I managed to make it into my 30s without any serious injuries are broken bones and now I seem to be injured on a weekly basis sometimes semi seriously and DP is always ill, almost weekly he has to take a day off work.
I'm a big believer in Karma and the yang yang of the universe, could it really be that the perfectness of my relationship is offset by us being cursed to be ill or injured frequently.
Just be aware of your surroundings and get your partner to wash his hands more.
All will be good!
No,don't be so silly.Go and get your eyes tested in case your sight is causing you to be careless,and get your DP to wash hands and eat better, etc to improve his health.
You keep injuring yourself because you spend all your time gazing into his eyes and not looking where you are going!
He keeps getting ill from all the germs you share through snogging and other activities.
But seriously you are not cursed.
Unless you can recall annoying an elderly lady bearing some heather.
Was about to say the same as mother, you are probably being more clumsy as you are all fuzzy and in luff!
You are probably passing germs back and forth like nobody's business with all the snogging and general cuddling and being in each other's pockets, which comes with a new, lovely relationship!
You are not cursed. I think irrational, negative things when I'm really, surprisingly happy too! Like, "God I'm so happy, something bad has to happen to ruin it". Maybe you're thinking the same.
Not all of my accidents are my own fault probably only half of them are due to clumsiness, in the last two weeks i had a cyclist ride into me from behind because he was playing the Pokemon game and not paying attention and a waiter tripped and dropped a tray drinks on me in a restaurant.
I understand how unlikely it sounds but I'm just so sick of being sore and in pain and DP feeling unwell.
It just feels like the universe is trying to tell us something.
"He's not perfect but he's perfect for me" that actually made me go "awww" out loud!
Purely coincidence and a bad run of luck but I understand where you're coming from. I went through a stage of just one thing after another and it's really draining isn't it but this phase will pass.
Do as others have suggested and see how dp can improve his diet or hand washing etc and for yourself just tread carefully for a while. I went through a phase of terrible balance, never found the cause but it just stopped one day.
Sending good luck your way
Or maybe, subconsciously, you both keep damaging yourselves in order to spend more time together?! Just a thought..... Love to both of you, happy bloody buggers!
You say you have been injured on an almost weekly basis for the last 7 months. If even only half of those are your own doing then you need to take much better care of yourself and have better awareness of your surroundings. I'm also skeptical about how much of the other half are other people's fault too. Thats a hell of a lot of random clumsy people you encounter.
It just feels like the universe is trying to tell us something
We if you are determined to give weight to this "theory" of yours, then surely you need to have a trial separation for a month or so and see if things improve
OP I live in Mexico so am not as skeptical about such things as others here, but if you were cursed, how would you get the curse lifted?
I had to Google yang yang. Apparently he's either a badminton player or an actor. Don't know why you're blaming them.
There is no such thing as a perfect relationship or karma, or curses. Possibly you're spending so much time daydreaming about your boyfriend that you aren't looking where you're going.
Anyway, hope your leg has stopped hurting and that your relationship continues happy.
I don't think your relationship is cursed. What I think is happening is that you are so wrapped up in this relationship, that your attention to your surroundings has dwindled. Hence the minor incidents.
silly old Freud. largely discredited these days as he was just a terrible old pervert.
Are you walking round in a daydream because you are so happy? It is all pure coincidence, and let's face it, if you are loving and supporting each other through all this grief you will be able to get through anything.
Wishing you both every luck and happiness xx
Haha thanks for all the replies.
Not all of the injuries have been big, some have only been tiny, it's just the amount of injuries I've had over the last 7 months that worries me.
Likewise DP hasn't been constantly ill but it's been abnormally frequently.
I have also just realised that when I slipped in the shower earlier I knocked the toothbrush holder off the wall and its fallen into and cracked a huge peice of porcelain out of my the sink.
It's not just painful it's expensive being this accident prone.
I've had similar feelings sometimes! Since I met my wonderful hubbie 4 years ago we do seem to have had a lot of bad luck. Some illness and injury like you but also career crises, money stuff, house stuff. It does seem that way more bad luck stuff has happened to both of us since being together. Its not in my mind, family and friends have commented too! It's almost like nature is saying 'well you can have your perfect man but I'll make everything else go wrong in return!
silly old Freud. largely discredited these days as he was just a terrible old pervert.
In some ways, yeah. But there are still zillions of counsellors and therapists who use the sort of ideas that PitilessYank suggested (I think the idea that there are no accidents is found in Freud's Psychopathology of Everyday Life ).
A Freudian reading of the situation is that you are both overwhelmed by the goal of perfection that you have set for this relationship and each afraid of being similarly expected to be perfect. Therefore you have sabotaged yourselves so that you cannot be expected to be the perfect partner, leaving the relationship's perfection intact.
A Freudian solution to the problem is to lower your expectations of your relationship, your partner, and yourself. Get him to tell you all his flaws (gambling habit? bad debt? colourful past? ideally things you can work on rather than dealbreakers) and also tell him yours. Begin to hope for a solid, normal relationship with plenty of ups and downs (no perfection!). This should take the pressure off.
Or, if you really think you're cursed, look into a few good healthy hexing spells to block the curse... You'd probably need to know someone who was into Wicca or something like that.
Hope your legs is better soon, and that your partner gets some answers from his doctor.
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