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To not want to pay SIL to look after DD

(131 Posts)
smileygrapefruit Wed 20-Jul-16 22:21:19

Arranged with PIL's for them to have DD (2.5 years) for a few hours this Saturday. They have messaged DH today to say they need to pop out for an hour or so and SIL (aged 17) will stay with our DD and we should give her babysitting money. Aibu to think you shouldn't have to pay family to spend time with family? All her food etc will be provided by us.

Cosmo111 Wed 20-Jul-16 22:23:06

What's a tenner for doing abit of baby sitting.

Hassled Wed 20-Jul-16 22:24:09

Would you have done it for free aged 17? I don't think I would have. She's doing you a favour - and not necessarily a favour that comes for free, family or not.

AlpacaPicnic Wed 20-Jul-16 22:25:30

Actually I think the PILs should pay her. They are the ones who've 'booked' her as it were.

HarryPottersMagicWand Wed 20-Jul-16 22:25:40

YANBU. I have done loads of babysitting for family in my time. Never ever occurred to me that I should get money for it!

DH's family once mentioned that a cousin could babysit when our first was born, then mentioned money. We didn't take them up on their offer as we have a babysitter who will do it for free. I'd never think that family should be paid.

Wheelerdeeler Wed 20-Jul-16 22:25:40

But the pil agreed to have her. If they can't then they should pay the 17 year old

ApocalypseSlough Wed 20-Jul-16 22:26:08

I think teenagers are the exception to the general money not changing hands for favours in families rule' I've just made up grin

ElsaAintAsColdAsMe Wed 20-Jul-16 22:26:21

Yes you should give her a few quid. She is doing you a favour.

littlepeas Wed 20-Jul-16 22:26:38

I think its fair to pay a 17 year old. We have a niece of similar age and wouldn't ask her to babysit without offering money. I wouldn't expect to pay an adult sil though (beyond uni age).

FuzzyOwl Wed 20-Jul-16 22:27:00

I think it is fine and normal to give someone babysitting money for looking after your child, especially if they are a younger member of your family who you know could do with the financial help. However, if your PIL said they would look after your DD, it is a bit unreasonable for them to say they can't at the last moment but unfortunately people letting you down happens.

sue51 Wed 20-Jul-16 22:27:53

She's 17, give her a few quid.

NellyMelly Wed 20-Jul-16 22:28:55

She's trying to earn some cash and you should pay her for babysitting - she could do this more often for you in the future. Always good to have options on babysitters

ItsMeTheMummy Wed 20-Jul-16 22:30:11

At 17 I think she should be paid for babysitting but as others have said, your pil should pay as they're cancelling so they're the ones causing you to need the 17 year old babysitter.

Marilynsbigsister Wed 20-Jul-16 22:30:22

No. YABU . Pil babysit out of love for their GC. Therefore are not paid. They are not available ( for whatever reason - not important - default is you because they are YOUR children. ) SIL has been blackmailed/coerced/ requested to step up. She has agreed for a price. I certainly would not have volunteered free babysitting for my brother at seventeen. ! I would have FAR-better ways to occupy my time ! How much will it cost ? Stop Being tight.

DiggersRest Wed 20-Jul-16 22:31:03

Pay SIL, and then don't ask PIL to babysit again as they can't be relied on.

expatinscotland Wed 20-Jul-16 22:33:14

She's 17, bung her a few quid, FFS.

gallicgirl Wed 20-Jul-16 22:35:36

Are you happy for SIL to babysit?
I wouldn't be chuffed about that scenario. If you wanted SIL to babysit, you'd have asked her in the first place.

usual Wed 20-Jul-16 22:36:08

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AtSea1979 Wed 20-Jul-16 22:37:01

Agree, she's 17, pay her. Technically your PIL booked her so it's tricky but would your rather PIL cancelled than ask SIL?

harderandharder2breathe Wed 20-Jul-16 22:37:03

Pay SIL cause she's only 17 and probably only agreed cause PIL said you'd pay

But don't let PIL babysit in the future if you can help it... Though I appreciate you may not have this choice

DonkeyOaty Wed 20-Jul-16 22:38:33

God yeah bung her a tenner

She's a good kid or she'd have said no way, get real or whatever teens say nowadays; reward that

Canyouforgiveher Wed 20-Jul-16 22:40:07

She is 17. give her a tenner.

shopaholic999 Wed 20-Jul-16 22:40:58

Am I the only one that has read this right? Pil have agreed to babysit and obviously double booked something which means they have to go out, op isn't asking sil to babysit therefore shouldn't have to pay anything!

Xmasbaby11 Wed 20-Jul-16 22:41:03

I'd pay her and wouldn't think twice. If your PIL look after the dc a lot you are probably used to free childcare, but I wouldn't expect a 17 year old to babysit for free.

BoneyBackJefferson Wed 20-Jul-16 22:41:59

I would be more annoyed that the PiL are letting you down, but then they have done a good job of diverting your ire.

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