About a snide comment on Facebook(39 Posts)
A Friend of mine put a comment on Facebook and it's proper irritated me. She put that it's not fare that she has to work throughout the summer holidays whilst other parents get the luxury of staying at home sitting on their arses and she's sick of seeing photos of families all having fun when she's stuck behind a desk all day. Now I'm pretty certain without wanting to come across as paranoid, it was aimed at me.
I'm more or less a sahm as I work on bank for an agency and when I do it's mainly at weekend or night shift when my dh is home (he works Mon-Fri 7am-6pm). So yes I get to have the majority of school holidays off with my two children but with my first (almost 11) I worked full time including a mixture of days and nights and rarely had time off, so when I had my second child (age 6) I wanted to be home more if possible, plus my dh works hard to bring in money for us.
So my friend has spent the last few weeks moaning on at me about how hard she works (three days a week 5hrs a day) so more or less the same amount of hours I do but longer days. She moans on and on about having to pay to put them in holiday club, but thousands of other people have to do the same, including me except when my eldest had to go she went every day more or less from 8am to 6pm not just a few days here and there, that's life I'm afraid.
The kids round here have been off for a week and like always I make sure my two have plenty of activities to be getting on with and we try and get out of the house somewhere every day if the weather is nice. So I've posted a few pics on Facebook at the park, crazy golf etc and I think basically the top and bottom of it is she's jealous. I'm not being mean here but when she is with her kids she does sod all with them and would rather palm them off with a few quid and then they go off playing on their own for most of the day. Don't get me wrong kids need to play with friends, my eldest dd is always out and about but I make sure I plan things for the holidays so we can spend time together and have fun. She doesn't seem to have the same priorities (fair enough) but don't make digs at me for being at home when it suits us as a family and for making an effort with my kids to spend time with them and have fun. Rant over but I'm preparing myself for being to IBU.
It's probs more a generalising comment not directly at you but she works 3days so she has 4 days with her DC so it's not as if she's doing 40plus hours and spending time with the kids on the weekend only
You say friend, but you're pretty rude about her. If she isn't a friend, what do you care what she thinks? Just unfollow her and let it go.
Facebook is a blight on humanity. Delete your account and don't let some random or otherwise comment ruin a lovely summer.
Already getting the same sort of comments,we choose for me to be the sahp, so yep we do stuff through the summer fwiw no don't miss work and yes sometimes it is easier to go out --rather than act as referee--a lot of it is jelousy but noone said life is fair! The same people are the ones who quite happily ask me to have their children when they are stuck.
Put up more photos, tag here with 'wish you were here'
Time to cull your friend list or even better, delete your account.
Also, I'm not sure she sounds like the nicest of friends. You don't have to drop her completely but why hang out with someone if they are always moaning. I couldn't be arsed.
I dont have Facebook and message, text or phone my friends instead.
If you don't like her or think much of her parenting you can always unfriend her.
She's just ranting. I suppose it does look forward unfair to her. SAHMs get to spend all their time with their children and she's stuck in work. I mean clutching at straws here, but is she a single mum forced out to work, and being greeted with pictures of married SAHM baking cakes with their little darlings.
She's probably feeling a bit down, and jealous. It's allowed
Well look at it like this. Even if it weren't aimed at you, you're still her friend and she is clearly calling out ANYBODY who applies to what she's saying so yes it is about you, but not directly.
I would call her out on it personally but that's me. I would probably unfriend her after too. Can't stand moaners.
Response could be: "Do you mean me?"
But since leaving teaching I have become far less polite and retiring than I used to be... I am relocating Th Rude Bitch inside
Meh. So she's sick of seeing pictures of other people enjoying free time with their kids in the summer holidays when she has to work. I don't really see what's 'snide' about that. She's not, for example, judging all the people who are out with their kids, in the way you're judging her parenting here.
I'd rather be at work! Lol. I'm in a nice air conditioned office... no bored, moaning DDs near me.
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
I would probably take a comment like that to mean she hates her job and, possibly, feels a bit guilty that she never does much with her kids. I wouldn't take it as a dig at me unless she was much more pointed in her comments.
OP isn't a SAHM though! She just works shifts. It's not unfair that she has to work, it's just life. Each of us has to support ourselves if we are able, whatever form that takes.
Just enjoy your summer and your kids OP and don't worry about unjust negativity.
I'd be careful about thinking it's aimed at you- it's so easy to misinterpret stuff on FB and the like.
Seriously though- she works 15 hours a week in an office and she's complaining .
I'm a community carer and have done 50 ish hours weeks before yet still managed to spend time with my 4 kids. If she doesn't get any time with hers then that's due to poor planning and time management, not her job.
Don't put pictures on facebook that will make other people feel bad. It's just showing off. Share them with close friends and family that you know will get pleasure from seeing them.
Your friend sounds unreasonable but don't take it personally she is probably just a bit fed up
I consider myself very lucky as a teacher to be off now with the kids. I have nothing but sympathy for those stuck in a job they hate. I wouldn't take it as a slight on me at all if I'd seen that though, I'd just think yep she's moaning again. there's always a few moaners about, be grateful you're not one, it must be exhausting to feel hard done by all the time!
Or consider it this way: if you put pictures up somewhere public, people will feel the way they feel about those pictures. You don't get to dictate how they feel. If they feel jealous, they feel jealous. They may say so. Their saying so may annoy you, just as your crazy golf pictures may annoy them. Neither of you is wrong. You're both just annoyed. Let it go.
Ask if she'd rather people post pictures of everyone having an unhappy time.
Unfollow her. Doesn't mean defriend. Arrow by any statuses she puts up- click on it!
I also work evenings and weekends.
I would comment 'I know what you mean, I'm lucky I get some time off in the day but I've often shattered from doing a night shift before and the kids still need to get out and do things whether I've been working or not'......
Crikey, she works 15 hours a week and is moaning about her lot. Yes I know a couple of women like that (they usually have quite easy and pleasant lives) but still feel hard done by. They also seem to bring this up when they are with women who don't work outside the home!
Agree about unfollowing her. I have unfollowed all my friends, as I find the whole FB thing annoying anyway! People used to joke in the 1970s about being invited round to look at people's holiday photos Mrs Bucket style. Now some people do it 24 hours a day. I just don't get it.
You need to be out at least five times per week now. Lots of photos. Horse riding, beach, parks, theme parks, meals out. Do it!!
Join the discussion
Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.Register now
Already registered with Mumsnet? Log in to leave your comment or alternatively, sign in with Facebook or Google.
Please login first.