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To not allow my DD to go and play

(8 Posts)
JustAMadDogLady Wed 20-Jul-16 10:19:44

Name changed

Looking for advice on how to handle this situation the right way please bear in mind I have called 101 and reported this.

I have a neighbour who had a DS the same age as my DD and they use to play together a lot until she got into a new relationship with a horrible man and then the DC just didn't see each other as much as everyone was busy and life got in the way. She's not had another DS with new partner. Lately they've been arguing a lot and it 100% sounds physical and they've both been seen with bruises on their faces the day after a fight. This happens daily.

Now it's the summer hols she keeps asking for my DD to go round and play but I've been putting it off because I'm not comfortable with it. They fight and argue in front of her older DS and when they have guests there so they would in front of my DC and I don't feel Comfortable going and sitting with them while the kids play.

My DP thinks I should say something like "I don't mean to sound rude but we hear the constant arguing and fights and I'm not comfortable with my DC being around that and she's scared of XX (your DP) because she hears him shout and you crying so think it's best if we leave it" but to me it feels abit brutal.

Making up excuses isn't putting her off even though some have been ridiculous when I've been put on the spot

So AIBU by thinking I need to give her the reason but maybe in a much better way?

DesignedForLife Wed 20-Jul-16 10:23:08

YANBU, and I hope you've reported it at least to the kids school so they are aware.

Can't you invite the kid over yours instead? Make up some excuse of exciting activities you've got planned for the day - paddling pool, baking, special craft, whatever they'd be into.

hastheworldgonemad Wed 20-Jul-16 10:25:39

No your dh is right.

Domestic violence is seen as child abuse if it's witnessed by their child. SS need to be involved so you should call them.

I would never allow my child into a dangerous environment like this and I would call the police if I heard sounds of violence.

Your dh is right.

MrsJayy Wed 20-Jul-16 10:29:38

Your DH is right surely this woman knows this but is more than likely in denial dont let your dd go round. Her poor children though

Nocabbageinmyeye Wed 20-Jul-16 10:33:51

Another one agreeing with your dh. You could keep making excuses but you'll run out and your making it more awkward for yourself, just bite the bullet and say it nicely, she may be glad that you did

NapQueen Wed 20-Jul-16 10:35:51

I wouldn't let my dd round either. I'd let her ds come to mine often though.

If she asks I'd just say "sorry it all sounds a bit stressful and maybe a bit scary for a child in your house"

JustAMadDogLady Wed 20-Jul-16 10:38:37

I have reported to 101 and rang social services a few weeks back by havent reported to the schools and they've broken up now

I have invited her DS before but they all came! He just strolled through the front door so that won't be happening again

MrsJayy Wed 20-Jul-16 11:13:53

They all came to your house bloody hell thats weird. I think you need to be honest with her sounds difficult though.

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