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Potentially losing my neighbour a job

(131 Posts)
facebookrecruit Wed 20-Jul-16 00:42:00

My neighbour is a right Royal pain in the arse but before I realised this I found out she is a massive attention seeker who fakes depression amongst other things (I'm not just guessing but it's a huge long story)
Any ways she advertises herself as a registered childcare provider on business cards in our local area. I've just made acquaintance with someone who is considering hiring her as a babysitter for her three DC one of which is a young baby with a health problem (neighbour has claimed she is experienced with poorly kids which is also a lie). Although I am 100% convinced she is not depressed she does take the 50mg tablets prescribed to her along with other heavy medication for 'chronic pain' another thing I also think is made up.
AIBU to tell this lady what I know before she trusts her with her kids? I don't want to sound like a bitch because I'm not keen on my neighbour but I wouldn't trust her with my much older DC never mind a baby confused

JackieAndHyde4eva Wed 20-Jul-16 00:44:25

shock nasty nasty nasty gossipy shit stirring. MYOB. You dont know anything at all.

facebookrecruit Wed 20-Jul-16 00:47:00

Believe me I do - I was quite friendly with her before I saw what she was really like

PastaLaFeasta Wed 20-Jul-16 00:49:05

I wouldn't share any of the health stuff as you really don't know about depression or pain - I have both and have been prescribed medication, not everyone would know if it was truly needed as I often seem healthy and happy. You are unlikely to have definitive evidence to prove your allegations so it's slanderous. You can however tell your friend how you feel about the neighbour on the basis you don't feel she is suitable to babysit, but keep it to facts and your feelings rather than your suspicions. Having depression and chronic pain with medication won't necessarily impact her ability to babysit, nor pretending to have these conditions.

facebookrecruit Wed 20-Jul-16 00:49:56

I also know for a fact she does not have the qualifications for the level of childcare she claims to be experienced in

PastaLaFeasta Wed 20-Jul-16 00:51:13

Well that is a fact and she shouldn't be lying about that. The health stuff is not relevant.

facebookrecruit Wed 20-Jul-16 00:52:18

Ive witnessed a lot in recent months - she's only ever depressed or in pain when she's either working and trying to leave early or skiving off confused

NellyMelly Wed 20-Jul-16 00:52:49

I'd want to know this opinion on a child carer. Faking illness is a worrying feature and I'd be worried on this level of make believe and connecting with the real world.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost Wed 20-Jul-16 00:53:42

You're 100% convinced she's not depressed. Are you a Doctor.
I am 100% convinced that God exists doesn't mean I'm right.

facebookrecruit Wed 20-Jul-16 00:54:37

I'm not even sure she isn't claiming something based on the faked illnesses but I've seen her taking the tablets many times - it's like she want people to see her taking them hmm

Feellikearightungreatfulcow Wed 20-Jul-16 00:54:57

Perhaps focus on the lack of qualifications then

Unless she's actually told you she's faking the illness and I can't imagine anyone taking or in fact being prescribed antidepressants if they didn't need them

I'm currently signed off work and dread people like you seeing me out and about as the 5 minutes you see me I may well look 'fine' but just because I'm functioning with a fake smile on my face doesn't mean I'm not still dying inside.

You've said some pretty horrible things

facebookrecruit Wed 20-Jul-16 00:56:03

Depression is something I've seen quite a lot of and I've never known anyone with work day selective depression confused

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost Wed 20-Jul-16 00:56:17

Facebook. You're not making yourself sound very delightful.

facebookrecruit Wed 20-Jul-16 00:57:18

The things I've said are the reasons i backed away from her - I will give anyone the time of day as a rule.

facebookrecruit Wed 20-Jul-16 00:58:28

My concern is the three DC more specifically the baby

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost Wed 20-Jul-16 01:01:56

You give anyone the time of day. That's very kind and noble of you. However if you gossip about people IRL the way you talk on them online. I think a lot of people would rather not have your time of day, TBH

Onesieisthequeensselfie Wed 20-Jul-16 01:02:08


Even if what you "know" about your neighbour is 100% fact, you sound awful.

BTW, how DO you know that she doesn't have the qualifications/faking depression/doesn't have chronic pain? hmm

AyeAmarok Wed 20-Jul-16 01:05:25

You're on dangerous ground on the health stuff, you don't know she's faking.

Some people get stressed out by work so although it looks "selective", it might not be.

AcrossthePond55 Wed 20-Jul-16 01:13:24

Has this acquaintance actually asked you what you think? How well do you know the acquaintance? Is she likely to believe you over the neighbour?

You need to tread very carefully. At this point it's 'she said/she said' and if it gets back to your neighbour she'll just deny and say that you're out to get her or something.

SemiNormal Wed 20-Jul-16 01:25:38

wow, and I thought my neighbours were horrible!

Ditsy4 Wed 20-Jul-16 01:25:55

I would encourage the person to check out her qualifications. She should be registered with Social Services Local Authority etc. if she isn't and is advertising she is probably breaking the law. I used to be a childminder but it has changed since I left. It is stricter now though.
I wouldn't talk about her health issues but I think I would perhaps encourage them to check references. Has she looked after anyone else's children?
Some people on here think you are wrong but this is a baby and you are concerned about the children. On occasions when something has happened to a child there is often someone who didn't speak up about there concerns and regets it. Or did speak up and was ignored /over ridden. They don't know her and you do.
By the way if she isn't registered with the local authority then you should let them know.

mylaststraw Wed 20-Jul-16 01:45:25

I agree with Ditsy. I find it unlikely that a mother would want to leave a child (esp with health issues) with a childcare provider without some sort of references (even if just positive word of mouth) and proof of qualification.
You sound like you dislike your neighbour intensely, for whatever reason, and are just out to be spiteful. Depression manifests in many different ways, can you prove she hasn't got depression? Can you prove she hasn't got the qualifications she states? If not, you really don't know, do you?
Chronic pain can be a terribly wearing and depressive thing in itself, yet you wouldn't necessarily know someone was suffering to look at them. A lot of ppl try to put a positive public face on in these situations.
YABU. If you don't like her, stay out of her business. Tale telling won't end well.

ilovesooty Wed 20-Jul-16 01:53:09

Just when I think I've seen the bottom of the barrel you manage to take things even lower.

What a nasty spiteful thread.

JudyCoolibar Wed 20-Jul-16 02:04:13

It's interesting - and very MN-typical - that everyone has instantly jumped in with an assumption that OP knows nothing and is just being mean. She knows her neighbour pretty well and is aware that the depression etc only seems to kick in on a workday, and that she doesn't have the qualifications she claims. So she does know a bit more than the keyboard warriors round here. If she's on heavy duty medication I would have thought that is something that needs to be taken into account also.

I would agree that the advice has to be to suggest to the parent in question that they check things out very carefully. Nothing spiteful in that.

Ditsy4 Wed 20-Jul-16 02:19:43

Excuse me...not everyone!

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