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To not want him in my garden

(146 Posts)
BillyNotQuiteNoMates Tue 19-Jul-16 17:38:36

I have a neighbour, (not next door, but opposite and down the road) who I know has some special needs. He lives alone, so obviously reasonably capable, and a job. I don't know what "label" his special needs would have. Just to put you in the picture.
He has a cat. His cat likes wandering. He likes to knwk where his cat is. This involves crawling around under the garden bushes (in my garden), under the trampoline, trying to get under my sons car (which if he scratches it, my son will kill him, as it's his pride and joy), walking down the side of my house as if it's a public right of way and looking in through my windows. (We have a gate, which is kept shut, at front and back, which he just opens and walks in) I frequently have friends children here to play. AIBU to not want him to just wander in my garden, and if so, how do I go about stopping him. I've asked nicely, and pointed out that it's my garden and that it isn't public property.

DisneyMillie Tue 19-Jul-16 17:40:16

You shouldn't have to but maybe put a lock on the gate?

Aeroflotgirl Tue 19-Jul-16 17:41:05

Yanbu at all, tell your neighbour this, and suggests the cat wears a bell on its collar so he can locate it.

DonkeyOaty Tue 19-Jul-16 17:42:32

Gate locked will make your garden secure

I hope your son isn't the fisty sort shock

SaucyJack Tue 19-Jul-16 17:44:17

A lock on the gate would seem to be your easiest option.

MrPony Tue 19-Jul-16 17:45:27

Have you asked him not to? Keep an eye out for what could be carers visiting and you could mention it to them too. If he doesn't respond to you and keeps doing it the police would be your only other option, I would just hope they deal with him appropriately for his needs.

Beefles Tue 19-Jul-16 17:46:13

I'm not sure if this is the same thing but we had some guy come into our garden so I rang the police. They said to tell him he didn't have permission to be there. They then said (and you don't have to tell your neighbour this) that if he turned up in your garden again, after knowing he didn't have permission to be there then I could call the police who would send someone out straight away to remove him from the property. With my situation I didn't know the man and it looked like he was casing out our garage ready for theft. I would call 101 and ask their advice for your situation too.

BillyNotQuiteNoMates Tue 19-Jul-16 17:49:09

We did put a lock on the gate, when e children were very little, but the postman moaned at us (actually it was just a chain that wrapped round the post that lifted over the top, but he insisted on climbing over the gate and warned us that he would sue us if he fell - whole other thread!)
MrPony yes, as stated in the original post, we've asked him not to, on several occasions, it makes no difference.
I don't really want to involve the police, unless I absolutely have to, but I was worried that I was being unreasonable.

Laiste Tue 19-Jul-16 17:50:03

''I've asked nicely, and pointed out that it's my garden and that it isn't public property.''

How did he react OP? Was it just once you've tried? Did he seem to understand? I'm wondering if he needs another chat about it. Wording it differently maybe?

stillstandingatthebusstop Tue 19-Jul-16 17:51:00

My son has SN and I hope he may be able to live independently one day. I would want to know if he was doing anything like this.

Someone should be able to explain to your neighbour in a way that he can understand that it is not ok for him to go into your garden. Do you ever see family or support services going into your neighbours house? Could you talk to them? Do any of your other neighbours know him and any services/family he has to support him?

<waits to be flamed>

BillyNotQuiteNoMates Tue 19-Jul-16 17:51:04

thanks Beefles I might just ask a local police officer for advice, I knwk quite a few of them. I was really afraid that I was overreacting. Glad to know that others wouldn't like it either

Laiste Tue 19-Jul-16 17:51:08

Oh xpost. Several occasions.

Community police officer then sad

MrPony Tue 19-Jul-16 17:53:36

I think the police is your best option tbh. It's what you would do if he didn't have special needs.

BillyNotQuiteNoMates Tue 19-Jul-16 17:55:48

stillstanding I don't know of any family or support services. I've never seen anyone. He works nights.
I have tried to speak to him. Along the lines of
Him "sorry I was in your garden again, my cat goes wherever she wants to"
Me "that's fine, I don't mind your cat walking through the cat (big fat lie there, I hate cats but that's beside the point) but you really can't just walk through yourself. It's my garden, not a pavement or somewhere that anyone can just walk through."
Him "haha" and walks off
Me "do you understand that I don't want you walking through my garden all the time, it's private property?"
Him "yes, my cat likes your garden"
Walks away

cricketqueen Tue 19-Jul-16 17:56:00

I had a few problems with my neighbour who also has learning difficulties/mental health problems. I spoke to the community support officer who spoke to him in a non threatening way and also got in touch with S's who were aware of him. I don't know exactly what happened with them but the mans mum came and apologised and we haven't had any problems with him since.

SaucyJack Tue 19-Jul-16 17:56:38

How did you ask? Were you possibly too nice about it?

There's no need to run at him with a chainsaw, but perhaps a more direct approach wouldn't go amiss?

user7755 Tue 19-Jul-16 17:56:56

I think you might need to be very blunt. 'You can't come in this garden'.

Depending on his needs / cognition, he may struggle with understanding the implications of this is our garden, it is private property might not be clear to him. It might sound blunt but also try to keep it as simple as possible.

SaucyJack Tue 19-Jul-16 17:57:06

X post.

2rebecca Tue 19-Jul-16 17:57:07

Can you not put a lock on the back gate that the postman doesn't need to use to get to your door? I would also tell him again you don't want him in your garden and tell him off when you find him in your garden. Does he live alone? Does he have a care worker you can involve?

user7755 Tue 19-Jul-16 17:58:33

Also you can get postboxes so the postman doesn't need to come in your garden if you want to keep it locked.

stillstandingatthebusstop Tue 19-Jul-16 17:58:47

I also think contacting community police - if you can't find anyone else - would be reasonable. I don't know about adult services yet so I don't know how it works and who you would contact for support for your neighbour. Am I being naive? There's probably no support.

<Sits and worries about DS>

AbyssinianBanana Tue 19-Jul-16 17:59:37

We use to have one of these loc8tor - stupid name but worked well. You point and nearer you are, the more frequent beeps are. Maybe just knowing his cat is safe in your garden will help him feel less anxious about trying to locate it.

BillyNotQuiteNoMates Tue 19-Jul-16 17:59:59

2rebecca I could lock the back gate, but it's the one that we always use as that's where the cars are parked. He always comes in the front way anyway, as that's where he lives.

stillstandingatthebusstop Tue 19-Jul-16 18:02:04

What about a charity helpline? MENCAP?

BillyNotQuiteNoMates Tue 19-Jul-16 18:02:26

*stillstanding" I'm sorry that you are worried about your DC. I do know people who have special needs who live very successfully with great support, in their own homes. I just don't know what support he has, or where he gets it from.

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