thinking the house is disgusting?(24 Posts)
My dd17 spends a couple of nights a week at her boyfriends house. When this first started a year ago she would often come home with flea bits but that seemed to have sorted it's self out after a few weeks. Recently she's starting coming home with them all over both her ankles again(I've attached pictures)
They have 3 cats so I know it's bound to happen sometimes. I have 2 cats, a rabbit and a dog so I know how pesky they are. But with flea treatment on time, spraying flea spray and washing the carpet it shouldn't take more than a week or 2 to get rid of fleas. This started end of May/early June and it's just getting worse and worse every time she comes home.
I've also been told by boyfriend and DD that they had serious problems with flies and then found maggots and fly eggs buried in their carpet.
I just think the house must be so unclean and not the place i want my DD spending her time. I know it's horrible to judge as they are a lovely family but I have to admit it made me feel a bit sick.
What do others think about this?
Eeek - I'd think blimey I don't want the boyfriend staying in my house
The boyfriend is very clean, funnily enough. He spends more time here than he does at home as its closer to his work.
Why is dd17 still staying there? She can't be that bothered by it
I have dogs and cats and have had them for years. None of my animals have ever had fleas.
It's horrible - your DD should speak to her bf about it
Why does your daughter want to keep staying there? I wouldn't. Fleas are a complete nightmare and they probably need professionals in especially with the maggot problem, maybe they can't afford it and think they can keep home treating. I assume this is the boyfriends parents house, they can't be unaware of the problems. Have you ever been to there house? I wondered if it is generally clean and this is an ongoing battle or they have deeper problems with hoarding.
We have friends who have a similar issue with fleas (not maggots or fly eggs though!) - at this time of the year it is really difficult to treat as the animals go outside and constantly pick them up.
We've managed to bring a few travellers back to our house over the years, resulting in full in deflea mode, even though we don't have animals ourselves (last incident last week when i found one, on my mouth, in the shower!!!). To get round this, because we love our friends, we generally strip as soon as we get in and shove all the clothes on a good wash. We also spray ourselves (with horrid deet or the lovely old version, skin so soft).
However maggots and fly eggs are just plain gross... have you spoken to them about it?
Nothing to stop the boyfriend cleaning up if it bothers him or your Dd.
Why would she rather be there twice a week than at home?
Is your DD bothered about the state of the place? Would she and her b/f feel up to a full on decontamination?
The maggots sound like a deal-breaker to me, as you say everyone with pets knows you have to keep on top of the fleas so to let it get that bad is pretty shocking.
To answer your original question though, no I don't think YABU to not want her to stay there.
They could be very clean but using utterly crap flea stuff like Bob Martin. What do you use at your house?
Have you even been to this house? Your daughter's been sleeping there since she was 16, right?
Doesn't mean the people are unclean, just the house. Maybe they have other things to do rather than clean. My brothers house used to be disgusting and filthy as he worked full time and my SIL would rather spend her time doing things with the kids, helping with homework, making them happy, than tidy. Maybe that's the case with them?
I do agree it's not very nice though. The fleas can sorta be excused as with 3 cats, especially if they go outside, you are bound to end up with flea every now and then and once one has them all of them do and they are everywhere in your home. I don't think it should take almost 2 months to deal with but they are tricky to get rid off. The maggots though, that is revolting.
Fleas can be a bugger to get rid of, so they may be doing their best. Maggots in the carpet do sound gross though. Not sure there is a lot you can do either way. You can hardly stop a 17 year old from going there.
My dd is also 17 and would go ape shit if she knew I'd taken pics of her anatomy and put it on a public forum. She wouldn't let me take pics anyway as she values her privacy
<misses point of thread>
I have been to the house, it was a bit cluttered but not unclean I wouldn't say.
I think they sorted the maggot problem, not sure though. Still think it's disgusting and could probably happen again seeing as the have he cat food in the lounge.
We use advocate in our house and we do have a bottle of flea spray but it's never got used as we haven't need to.
I don't think it's a rather be there than here sort of thing. She likes spending time with her boyfriend and his family, she gets on really well with them. I think she acts as though it isn't bothering her because she doesn't want to upset anyone. (Seriously overly sensitive mum tbh) His mum got her some stuff for the itching and that's the only thing she complains about with it tbh.
Just think it's really disgusting with the maggots. :/
She is 17, it is up to her if she stays there or not. I would simply be enforcing strict rules about changing clothes and showering when she comes home, so she doesn't bring the fleas into your home.
Well she must be bringing some back to you so I'd be pizsed
We had this problem when we moved house, started to get bitten badly but we had no pets so we knew it was in the carpets. The house needed major renovations anyway so we moved out with friends for a while (we hadn't fully moved in) ripped up the carpets then called the council to come in who powder bombed the whole place.
I don't know how you would get rid of a carpet infestation if you were living in there with pets though, it's a horrible endless cycle of re-infestation. I can't believe they're putting up with it.
I would be very, very concerned that your daughter and her boyfriend were bringing in fleas with them - it only takes a couple of visitors and that combined with your own pets you could have a huge problem yourself very quickly.
my mum is one of the cleanest people you will meet, ever, her house is always spotless. If she has so much as one dish in the sink, she thinks her kitchen is dirty. However her 1yr old cat, even though deflead more than once, has brought fleas home twice in the last month
Fleas alone aren't an indicator of someone being dirty, it can happen to anyone with pets, so please no one judge based on that, However the maggots and flies would be very very different. flies are attracted to 'waste' (such as old food, over flowing litter trays/poo etc). You don't really get that amount of flies (ie enough to be a problem) otherwise.
Several years ago we had a flea infestation. We had 2 cats at the time, who obviously started the problem, and although we kept treating the cats and spraying the house, the fleas kept coming back. We had to get a professional in to spray in the end, and I guess it took about 2 months altogether to keep going through cycles of re-infestation before we realised our "home" products (and vet flea drops) weren't working for more than a few days/ a week at a time and we needed to call out the professionals.
Throughout it all, our normal, clean and tidy house was still a normal clean and tidy house. I was still washing, hoovering and cleaning - I don't think there's a correlation between fleas and dirt. Bit correlation between fleas and pets, though and fleas and hot weather.
Just keep on top of your own animals. My exs house is jumping, you can see the fleas running around the poor dogs face. My teen brings the odd one home sometimes but they never last long.
If the house is cluttered, then maybe a cat brought in a mouse and hid it somewhere, where it decomposed with no one realising it was there. TBH, that could happen to almost any cat owner. I know plenty of cat owners, clean tidy houses, who have amongst them all found prey in various stages of deliquescence. It's revolting, I know, but.....
One of our cats always has fleas in summer. She's the easiest cat to treat that I've ever had in 40 years of cat ownership, but even so we quite often look at her in despair as it's only been two weeks since we last treated her and we can't use Spot-on or whatever again yet... Some cats just don't conform, and make life very difficult.
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