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To think that this is just normal life and DH should stop complaining?

(203 Posts)
ironrooster Mon 18-Jul-16 20:29:42

DH is very bitter that he doesn't get to relax all evening. He works full time and gets home about 5:30. I work part time and am home with DD5 after school.

The routine that we have is that I make tea every day and he washes up. He tends not to wash up straight after tea as DD wants to play before bed so it gets left until later.

We take turns in putting DD to bed alternate nights and bedtime is usually fraught - she won't go to sleep unless we sit in the room which is usually 30 mins or so.

DH also does his ironing in the evening and makes his lunch for the next day. He doesn't do any other housework as I get it done during the day. I don't have much stuff to do after DD is in bed so am less busy than him - usually have a shower or watch TV.

He feels that all these things take up his whole evening and he never gets to relax.
I think that a) they don't actually take him the whole evening (he forgets the time spent inbetween watching eastenders, or looking at his phone for 15 mins here and there) and b) it's just normal family life putting kids to bed and doing a few chores.

He goes out once or twice a week but apparently that doesn't count as he's not say at home relaxing hmm

AIBU to feel really irritated by him?

DoinItFine Mon 18-Jul-16 20:31:46


TheUnsullied Mon 18-Jul-16 20:31:58

Has he been a grown up for very long? He doesn't seem used to it.

SaucyJack Mon 18-Jul-16 20:32:06

I don't think your DD's bedtime routine is "normal" actually, no. SN aside yadda yadda yadda.

If you tackles that, it'd make evenings a lot more relaxed for all of you.

moosechops Mon 18-Jul-16 20:32:20

YANBU that's life with kids! 2 nights a week out sounds like a dream.

Tell him to stop being a nob. I hope you get nights out too!

GuruDal Mon 18-Jul-16 20:32:44


Pearlman Mon 18-Jul-16 20:32:59

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NavyandWhite Mon 18-Jul-16 20:33:18

I would do his ironing when I ironed my and the dc's clothes, that would give him extra time.

gleam Mon 18-Jul-16 20:35:33

Why doesn't he iron a whole week's stuff on just one evening?


trilbydoll Mon 18-Jul-16 20:35:37

If he's that bothered about it, he could iron 5 shirts on a Sunday and make 5 cheese sandwiches, my colleague assures me you can freeze them and take one out each day grin

Washing up, ironing and lunch can only be 45mins. So unless he goes to bed at 9pm he must have some relaxation time, it's basic maths!

blueskyinmarch Mon 18-Jul-16 20:35:51

Surely he doesn't do ironing every night? Sounds like he has plenty of time to chill.

ironrooster Mon 18-Jul-16 20:36:28

I know DD's bedtime routine isn't normal and it does need tackling. But we'd still have to get her ready for bed, read a story etc and he'd still have the other bits to do. So I don't think it'll make a huge difference to how hard done by he feels

MinnowAndTheBear Mon 18-Jul-16 20:37:01

I think each parent should have an even split of free time. We take turns to wash up / put DS to bed. However if he is out of the home twice a week I guess that could work out as even.

2410ang Mon 18-Jul-16 20:37:33

Navy I do hope that was said in jest! 😳

NavyandWhite Mon 18-Jul-16 20:38:17

Why don't you help him out a bit?

You have some free time in the day.

GeorgeTheThird Mon 18-Jul-16 20:39:05

Why on earth does he need to iron every evening? Don't people do five shirts on a Sunday night, I though that was the law?!

Mooey89 Mon 18-Jul-16 20:39:46

DP either irons all shirts on a Sunday or he does one each morning before work...
We have chore morning on a Sunday where ee blitz everything and then the rest of the week are just everyday chores...

And I've just realised I'm an official grown up.

Lucked Mon 18-Jul-16 20:39:46

My dh irons of a morning. I bet ironing and lunch would take half the time if he had to get out the door for work.

Do you have room for a dishwasher?

Yummymummy30s Mon 18-Jul-16 20:40:31

Hmm I'm undecided ... A bit more detail will help
Do you both leave for work at the same time and who gets DCs ready for school / takes them?
How much ironing does he do in the evening?
Do you iron both yours and DCs clothes - if so when and is he sat 'relaxing' then?
Could he make his lunch in the morning?

NavyandWhite Mon 18-Jul-16 20:40:54

No I wasn't jesting!

I'd do it for DH as he would me.

ironrooster Mon 18-Jul-16 20:41:07

I don't have free time in the day. I get up with DD, take her to school, go straight to work, get home an hour before pick up which gives me enough time to have some lunch and do a bit of housework, then DD is back from school and it's into reading her school book, doing a bit more round the house and making dinner.

Lucked Mon 18-Jul-16 20:41:40

I have suggested to dh that we send his shirts out but he is happy doing them. Could you afford that?

ironrooster Mon 18-Jul-16 20:43:05

Can't afford to send his ironing out but I will suggest he does it all on a Sunday. No doubt there will be a reason why that won't work for him though.

NavyandWhite Mon 18-Jul-16 20:44:15

I'm sorry OP! I thought I'd read you worked part time. I'm sat outside drinking wine I take it back!

He needs to get on with it.

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