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please tell me i'm bu !!!

(72 Posts)
primitivemom Mon 18-Jul-16 17:30:06

I really don't know where to start!!! My husband has recently been on a health kick infact very obsessive and he has started on my girls who are 12 and 7. At first it was cutting out sweets and rubbish, sugary drinks etc. Then it was telling them in not so many words that being fat like me (im very overweight) is not acceptable and that they don't want to end up like me. I understand that i of course, i don't want my girls obese but a healthy weight for their age. Bear in mind at night when kids are in bed he eats sweets! . He is all health health health, no sugar at all, even a yogurt etc, they are not allowed anything but what he cooks , he does cook nice dinners, and they do eat it . My twelve year old has lost weight, and is very aware of this (he tells her its a growth spurt) and clothes that fitted her last month are hanging on her. My 7 year old is going the same way. I undersatnd that no sugar helps, behaviour etc and it has, but surely he is going too far? today was the final straw when he came home from the shops with a present for them , kids were excited to see what he'd brought, a toy or comic etc and he handed them ........ weights!!!!! what should i do? i am really worried my girls are going to end up ill .

primitivemom Mon 18-Jul-16 17:33:03

They do have takeaways sometimes, chinese, dominos and things but no sugar at all and weights? he thinks he is in the right here and admits the weights were a step too far. He is making out it's me who wants them to be fat !

Crispbutty Mon 18-Jul-16 17:35:24

what do they actually eat?

Pearlman Mon 18-Jul-16 17:37:57

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

dudsville Mon 18-Jul-16 17:39:53

I wonder if he's 1) over compensating fire what he feels your contribution is on this topic, 2) frustrated with you and "speaking" to you through his actions. I think you need to seperate the issue of whether there are benefits to his approach and whether he's anxious about your weight, and also have a look at your relationship.

PortiaCastis Mon 18-Jul-16 17:40:01

He bought a 7 year old weights! I would find a good use for those weights and his head would hurt.

KittyLaRoux Mon 18-Jul-16 17:41:41

Im not saying his bill in a china shop approach is good but.....what are you doing about healthy eating for yourself and your dds?
Do they eat too much crap and are they over weight?
The eords fat should never be used but adopting a more healthy life style isnt such a bad thing is it?

Maybe get him to tone it down a bit, look at healthy eating as a family and show him snacks thst you can all enjoy that are not sugar and crisps.
Instead of weights all of you get a back and enjoy family days out its great for you all.

KittyLaRoux Mon 18-Jul-16 17:42:18


primitivemom Mon 18-Jul-16 17:42:40

They eat healthy meals, although my older child is picky now and hardly eats most of her meals, its not so much the sugar thing, i get that but weights?

WorraLiberty Mon 18-Jul-16 17:42:41

Then it was telling them in not so many words that being fat like me (im very overweight) is not acceptable and that they don't want to end up like me.

What words did he actually use though?

I only ask because from reading MN, I've learned that some people hear things about their weight, that are simply not being said.

For example, "You're looking well" equates to "You're looking fat" in some people's heads.

QueenEnid Mon 18-Jul-16 17:42:43

We're your DC overweight or has the fact that they've lost weight put them at an unhealthy weight now?

If they're healthy in weight now then I don't see an issue although buying weights for the Dc is a bit much!!!

Pearlman Mon 18-Jul-16 17:42:49

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

KittyLaRoux Mon 18-Jul-16 17:43:49

bike damn phone!!

PosiePootlePerkins Mon 18-Jul-16 17:45:15

He's going to create huge issues for them around food if he carries on like that. I say that as someone who was put on a diet aged 12 and has never had a healthy relationship with food. The only message they need to hear is everything in moderation. Healthy balanced diet. No counting, no banging on about what they can and cannot eat. I am actually worried on your behalf about the message they are getting at such a crucial stage of their development.

primitivemom Mon 18-Jul-16 17:46:23

The words were you don't want to end up like her.

WorraLiberty Mon 18-Jul-16 17:51:14

How do the kids actually feel about it?

PurpleDaisies Mon 18-Jul-16 17:51:22

If he said that exactly as you've written it that's a horrible thing to say to your children.

How did you respond?

RebelRogue Mon 18-Jul-16 17:51:47

Op are your daughters overweight/in the process of becoming overweights? If not,he's a dick. If yes, he's still a dick but with good intentions. However,regardless of the answer his attitude to you and your weight is unnecessary and very offensive to use you as the bad example.

acasualobserver Mon 18-Jul-16 17:52:10

He risks doing more harm than good. Healthy eating, including reducing sugar is good but beginning an obsessive, bullying 'health' campaign is bad.

Amy214 Mon 18-Jul-16 17:56:43

You are allowed small treats occasionally, cutting them completely out of your diet is extreme imo. I have small treats as long as i have my daily calorie intake then i think its fine. I have lost 2 stone since january, all i have done is eat smaller portions and move more (exercise 3-4 times a week)

Pearlman Mon 18-Jul-16 17:57:26

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WhereTheFuckIsWonderWoman Mon 18-Jul-16 17:57:50

Are they overweight? I would be concerned about their future relationship with food. They're both at very impressionable ages.

primitivemom Mon 18-Jul-16 17:59:44

It all stems from our eldest having suspected aspergers, her behaviour was through the roof! ok, so the sugar elimination has helped massively and i was totally on board with that. But to not even let them have a yogurt after tea, and now the weights thing? which are now in the bin btw.

WorraLiberty Mon 18-Jul-16 18:00:33

Clutching at straws here but as he is all about health at the moment, has being overweight damaged your health in any way?

If so, could have meant end up like you health wise?

Even so, it's still rude and if that was what he meant, he should have elaborated.

BackforGood Mon 18-Jul-16 18:01:14

Hmm. It would be interesting to hear both sides of the story.

They do have takeaways sometimes, chinese, dominos and things

How often? Sugar isn't the only issue when thinking about eating healthily.
What do they normally eat, on a normal day?

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