Am I right to be worried about my son?

[celeste83]

my boy is 3 and a half, and i am beginning to get worried at the prospect of him going school in just over 12 months time. He has very poor speech. When i mean poor he just doesn't use his tongue or lips to form words. He still speaks in babytalk to be honest. Other children his age I know are talking and putting sentances together by now. We have been to the speech therapist 4 times now but that has stopped now for the time being. The therapist spent most of the time with him doing activities to make sure he had a good understanding of objects, etc, and she says she has no worries as such at this stage and said to come back when he is 4 in January. The nursury has told us that he likes to be by himself and that his attention is not overly great. For some reason this weekend it hit me. Firstly we were at a fete on Saturday and they had a Punch and Judy show, for the first 10 minutes he was loving it laughing and giggling then literally two minutes later he was asking to go before the show finished. Then yesterday we were at the park and he was on a rocking boat and another boy came about his age came and try to talk to him and he just shyed away pointing at me saying Mummy. I try and encourage him to draw and repeat things after me but he seems to show little interest in doing so, would rather play with the cat or with his toy fire engine, or draw squiggles. It just worries me the thought that he will even be ready for school in just over twelve months time, or should i just stop comparing him to other children his age and accept that the speech therapist knows best that they will try and develop his speech when he is 4?

[RosieTheCat]

I have no experience of this myself but just wanted to tell you this as it may help ease some worries
According to PIL DP didn't speak till he was 5 and started school no issues now

[thejoysofboys]

There's a massive difference between 3.5yrs and 4.5yrs, please try not to get overly worried just yet.
I remember stressing when my Ds1 turned 4 thinking he was nowhere near ready for school but 7 months later he managed just fine.
Obviously if you have concerns with his speech follow the advice from
The consultant and go back when he turns 4 as suggested. But the attention span thing, don't get hung up on that. My eldest DS is 6 and I still don't think he'd sit still for more than 10 mins of Punch and Judy. He couldn't write his name either when he stared school - point blank refused to pick up a pencil or crayon (and I tried everything!!!). He's doing fine at school though - meeting all his targets and exceeded expectation in reading and maths.
It's hard not to get anxious about developmental stuff as everyone just wants the best for their child but unless the consultants or nursery school have serious concerns then do try to relax a bit. He will get there in his own time x

[celeste83]

Thank you Rosie and Joy. I know i probably over worrying, as my dh says. I just don't want him to fall behind at school. I'm hoping for a big step up in the next year. My dh had to go speech therapist when was young well into his primary school years so i guess it may end up something similar with ds but its just that i'm watching other children in the park his age talking to him and he is unable to have a conversation. He is really shy aswell. Fine with me and dh but with anyone else he is super shy.

[ShtoppenDerFloppen]

My DS had very significant articulation issues when he was a tot. He still speaks quickly, stammers and has a minor lisp, but once he started talking more clearly, it was tough to quiet him.

It honestly seemed to me that he was storing up the words in his head, and then BANG... he was speaking in complex sentences using adult language at about 5-6 years old.

The fact that your DD seems to understand language is promising. Try to model language (talk a lot to him and with him, about everything and nothing) and see if the speech therapist was correct. Bits, especially, can have very different language acquisition patterns.

[ShtoppenDerFloppen]

*Boys, not bits!

[coco1810]

Hand holding from me too! My DD has had a battle with her speech too. At three both I and Kindergarten were flagging up issues with her speech. Unfortunately, speech therapy is very under funded in my area so wasn't assessed until nearly 5.

She was given the diagnosis of a speech delay. Our speech therapist explained that at around three most children's speech reboots if you will and goes from baby speech to child speech. It doesn't happen at the same age for all children. And for some kids, like my daughter, it didn't happen at all.

Your child may have this reboot and catch up at anytime between now and four. However, as I mentioned for DD it didn't.

She's now seven and her speech has caught up with her peers. We are still under speech and language as some sounds are still not quite there but she has the vocabulary of an 11 year old and is two classes in front in English and reading. DC will get there, it's hard work but they will get there!

[coco1810]

Also don't beat yourself up about this it's nothing anyone has caused. DD had exactly the same upbringing as DS, and he was talking earlier and clearer than DD who is younger. Don't compare, he's still very young and I think your speech therapist is right. My advice would be to carry on with as many groups that you may go to as this will help you both. Sing as many silly songs to each other, read lots of books and do everything you are already doing. They review every year so speech therapist is bang on.

[celeste83]

Thank you for your kinds words and advice shtoppen and coco.

I read to him and narate pretty much everything i do and what he does. Its definitely that he is lazy with his tounge and lips. His vocabulary seems ok as he makes out the different words in the correct tone just doesn't produce the words. Its hard not to compare him to other children however. I dunno i just feel that he is shy because he can't speak properly. He doesn't really have any friends and it makes me sad.

[almightygirl]

Have you had your ds checked for tongue tie? Probably unlikely but I believe this can cause speech delays.

Otherwise, keep doing what you are doing. My ds was slow to speak too, so I know how you feel.

The advice the speech therapist gave me was to just keep repeating everything! If ds points at a car or says car in his own way, you would repeat "yes, that's a car.". Once he starts saying individual words you can start adding other words "It's a red car" and so on. Try not to worry too much about pronunciation as I was told this is the last bit of speech to develop.

Otherwise, keep reading & singing to him, keep talking to him. Honestly, when we went out, I used to have a running commentary, pointing out buses and trees and birds - people must've thought I was bonkers

I hope that helps

[coco1810]

The amount of times I have pushed DD in a trolley around Aldi singing the grand old duke of York...... The looks from the OAPs. You're doing brilliantly, well done!

[WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeG0es]

Hi, saw this thread yesterday but wasn't able to post. Your DS sounds a bit like mine was at that age. It turned out that my DS has dyspraxia, a coordination disorder which was affecting the movement of his lips and tongue, other motor skill deficits became apparent as he got older. He always seemed to be a bit out of step with his peers socially from an early age too, and it turned out that he also has Asperger's Syndrome. I don't want to alarm you at all as there is every chance that your DS will grow out of his current issues. I would say that if your instinct as a parent continues to tell you that he is not developing in the same way as his peers then keep a close eye on things, make notes etc and ask for further referrals from the health visitor, or school nurse when he gets there. My DS is 12 now and was diagnosed with both conditions aged 7 after I had continued to be concerned about developmental delays, with the right support he is doing very well both socially and at school, he was very well supported through primary school and is now at a specialist secondary school. As I said, chances are it isn't those things, but it is worth bearing in mind, none of our speech therapists ever flagged any concerns other than that of unclear speech, but his nursery and school were noticing the same things as me.