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To not let DP take away DS?

(105 Posts)
Elephants25 Mon 18-Jul-16 10:57:18

I have returned to work, I didn't have full maternity leave, as DP is a SAHD, so I needed to go back sooner.

I obviously provide our income.

DS is 10 months old.

DP wants to take him to Spain, as he hasn't been away before, I said that we should wait until next year, when we have more money, as I can't take time off as I've just gone back. He wants to take him on his own, as I can't go. The thing is, the money he will use is the money I have worked for, yes, I know that it becomes shared when you are a family, but it's still a bit hurtful, when I cannot go.

AIBU to say he can't?

CocktailQueen Mon 18-Jul-16 10:58:47

He wants to go on holiday with him on his own??? How odd.

YANBU to say no, that you would prefer to holiday as a family.

WorraLiberty Mon 18-Jul-16 11:00:18

YANBU to want him to wait so you can have a family holiday.

YABVU to trot out the old 'Money I have worked for' line.

You do realise having him stay at home, enables you to earn that money, don't you?

acasualobserver Mon 18-Jul-16 11:01:08

I think it's odd too. What's his reasoning?

Arfarfanarf Mon 18-Jul-16 11:01:56

I'm not sure that a 10 month old would really be desperate for a holiday in spain. This is more that your husband wants to go to spain, isn't it?

What about a compromise. Say that you don't want to miss the family holiday because that's really unfair but why don't they go for a couple of days to the seaside in this country this year and you can all go on holiday to spain next year.

A ten month old can just as happily eat sand on a uk beach as a spanish one. grin

GettingScaredNow Mon 18-Jul-16 11:02:10

YANBU to want to holiday as a family.
Personally this would throw up major issues for me.

YABU to say 'money I've worked for'
Does that mean that if you could take time off you could do whatever you want whilst DP has zero say and is beholden to you?

Double standard.

Elephants25 Mon 18-Jul-16 11:04:05

I didn't even start this thread

Elephants25 Mon 18-Jul-16 11:05:04

No, it was me. Hang on, I'll come and speak to you

Elephants25 Mon 18-Jul-16 11:05:45

Thanks all, no, I know. It was just annoying that he wanted to go away, while I'm still at work... Without me... On a holiday...

JudyCoolibar Mon 18-Jul-16 11:06:09

Is this your DP doing a reverse?

branofthemist Mon 18-Jul-16 11:06:34

You didn't post it? But you did post it?


RedHareWithBlondeHair Mon 18-Jul-16 11:06:46

I don't think you are being unreasonable and under the circumstances it is money you've worked for. I wouldn't be prepared for my partner to spend money for the family shop on Vodka on Whisky or a night out at a strip club when I can't afford to do the same.

Inertia Mon 18-Jul-16 11:06:53

Erm ...?

WibblyWobblyJellyHead Mon 18-Jul-16 11:07:09

U wot m8?

Elephants25 Mon 18-Jul-16 11:07:30

This is why you don't share an account with a family member, hang on

Inertia Mon 18-Jul-16 11:07:55

If this is a reverse and your partner is using your MN account and pretending to be you, then your problems with your partner extend beyond the holiday issue.

Elephants25 Mon 18-Jul-16 11:08:57

No, lol. It isn't my partner grin

Arfarfanarf Mon 18-Jul-16 11:09:10

I think that's the two of them talking. grin

I think mr elephants is also a mumsnetter.

Arfarfanarf Mon 18-Jul-16 11:09:57

oh, not him?

don't share mn logins! It's very confusing grin

branofthemist Mon 18-Jul-16 11:10:27

Is this the partners account or yours?

If you know you share an account, why would you be surprised there is a thread you didn't start?

Quite frankly anyone who starts throwing round 'I earned it' when one parents is a sahp, is acting shitty and the whole sahp things isn't going to work.

I wouldn't want dh taking the kids away with me. But who earned the money wouldn't be the reason.

Elephants25 Mon 18-Jul-16 11:12:23

It's my account, but my sister used it, and is still using it by the sound of things she said she was just going to ask a thread and then log out it's okay, it's sorted now

It's not that the money is mine, it's just the fact that I can't afford to be off work to go, so I don't know why he'd use the money that we don't have much of, to go

acasualobserver Mon 18-Jul-16 11:12:29

I'm very confused?

branofthemist Mon 18-Jul-16 11:13:28

The thing is, the money he will use is the money I have worked for, yes, I know that it becomes shared when you are a family, but it's still a bit hurtful, when I cannot go

You cleary said this ^^

Elephants25 Mon 18-Jul-16 11:16:23

I know I did, I do think it would be hurtful to use it, when I'm still going to work, because we don't have enough money for me to be off work to go...

RedHareWithBlondeHair Mon 18-Jul-16 11:18:06

Can I ask why the need to share an account in the first place confused, is there a shortage of MN membership availability?

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