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To think I can take a three week old baby to a wedding?

(58 Posts)
wombthereitis Sun 17-Jul-16 22:06:24

DC2 is due in September and my best friend is getting married the middle of October. I've already said that sadly I won't be able to be involved much in the wedding (hen night, being a bridesmaid, etc) due to being heavily pregnant but that I'd love to be at the wedding (we've been friends since childhood, so I'd be pretty gutted to miss it!) She'd love for me to be there too and we've agreed that my DH will take the baby into another room for the actual ceremony so she doesn't have to worry about a newborn kicking off halfway through her vows (DH is fine with this and the actual ceremony will only be about 20 minutes). I'm hoping to stay for the reception or if not, the ceremony and the meal at least, and I'm going to take my stretchy wrap for keeping the baby with me. All going well, I'm planning on breastfeeding, so leaving the baby at home isn't really an option.

However, I'm worried in case I'm being a bit unrealistic about how easy it'll be to be out and about for a large chunk of the day at a wedding with a newborn? Or do you think if I'm prepared enough it'll be ok? Baby will be three weeks old at this point (I'm having an ELCS so that's fairly set) but DH will be with me all day to help out. I feel like I've forgotten what it's like to have a newborn! confused

IAmAPaleontologist Sun 17-Jul-16 22:08:17

All id say is don't put pressure on yourself. If all is well then it will be fine. If you are not feeling too good or feeding is not going well then it will be horrible but it sounds like you have a lovely friend who won't mind if you decide against going at the last minute.

welshweasel Sun 17-Jul-16 22:10:44

Agree just make it clear that although you really hope to make it, there's a chance you won't. I'd have been happy to do this 3 weeks post CS but I recovered very quickly and had a baby who did little else but sleep and feed at that point. If you have any complications you might not feel up to it.

Mouikey Sun 17-Jul-16 22:11:21

Were planning on going to an evening reception with a newborn in September (baby will be 6-8weeks) we shall be buying some little ear defenders and will take in the pram but will be prepared to head off if not working!!!

wombthereitis Sun 17-Jul-16 22:13:09

She is lovely, we've talked about it a few times and she's been very understanding of the fact that things coould change last minute and I might not be able to go. Hopefully that won't happen, but if it does there's not a lot that can be done!

Foolscapped Sun 17-Jul-16 22:14:32

It's perfectly possible you'll feel absolutely fine to attend, but I would make sure the bride and groom are aware that although you are absolutely planning to attend, there are no guarantees. Three weeks after my CS my scar got infected and painful, and BF problems hit their height, for instance - just don't put yourself under an insane amount of pressure.

SantasLittleMonkeyButler Sun 17-Jul-16 22:14:39

To be perfectly honest, I would rather take a 3 week old baby to a wedding than a 3 year old!

It really all depends on how you feel post ELCS though. If you're not ready to be out all day, then you're not ready.

Newborns need milk, clean nappies & cuddles. Give me a newborn to deal with over a toddler or teenager any day!

<mum to a 19, 15 & 4 year old>

GunShotResidue Sun 17-Jul-16 22:14:57

DS is 6 weeks and we went to a wedding when he was 2 weeks and 4 weeks. The 2 week wedding was a family one so we had lots of people wanting to help out. I enjoyed them both, although it was definitely more stressful than weddings before we had kids!

I took my 3week old baby to a meal and she was fine as she had been fed and was still in the sleepy stage.
I think by 3 weeks you will have enough of an idea about your babies routine and if it will be possible due to timings etc.

Babies are a lot easier to take out this small than when they have a routine, won't sleep anywhere etc.

Be honest with the bride, tell her you want to make it but it will be baby dependant. You don't know how you will feel after the birth which is usually the biggest variant.
Also, your baby could be slightly older/younger depending on if s/he comes on time!

Good luck with baby flowers

Mummyme1987 Sun 17-Jul-16 22:17:04

3 weeks old breastfed baby, constant feeding from 5-6pm to about 9pm with all of mine. Not sure if my babies are the unusual ones or not

BackforGood Sun 17-Jul-16 22:17:04

Well, I often read on MN of these people who could have done, but personally, no, there's not a hope in hell I would have been ready to spend at day at a wedding 3 weeks after giving birth even if the baby arrives on time.

springwaters Sun 17-Jul-16 22:17:26

You will know of it is possible once the baby arrives-babies differ. My DD1 would have been fine (and indeed did a big event at about 3 weeks) but at 3 weeks old my DS had only just come out of hospital for 2nd time and wasn't very settled.

That said at 6 weeks old I took him to the USA with my DD who was just 3 - flying alone

ClaretAndBlue30 Sun 17-Jul-16 22:18:29

I was a bridesmaid for my sil when my DD was 3 weeks old. Looking back I'm amazed I did it but at the time it was fine...she was in her pram at the front of the ceremony and we had plans for me to dip out if she cried. She was basically in my arms or in her pram all day.

If you want to go then go, just have plans a, b and c depending on what happens on the day. There'll be lots of cooing over the baby which is lovely!

CelticPromise Sun 17-Jul-16 22:18:57

Good friends brought their 10 day old to our wedding (long drive, overnight trip). Was lovely but we made sure they knew we were flexible and if they couldn't make it that was fine.

panegyricS1 Sun 17-Jul-16 22:20:13

Newborns are easier than toddlers. However, you will be recovering from major surgery, and experiencing interrupted sleep on top of that, so it's possible that you'll only feel like staying for a few hours. Don't promise that you'll be there for the full day and night - you may only be able to make the ceremony.

Catsize Sun 17-Jul-16 22:20:25

Agree with santas

Your baby is likely to be very sleepy at that age and may sleep through the whole ceremony. If not, the baby is likely to want to be with you so your OH will need to be able to get far enough away from the ceremony to stop baby crying being audible. When I took a young baby to a wedding, I kept it with me but sat at the back on the end of a pew so I could make a mad dash if the baby stirred.

Also bear in mind that the baby may be late - my first was 16 days o/d and that was only because of an induction.

Those stretchy fabric cross-over dresses are good for be at weddings. I also got a maxi dress from Frugi that would have been fine too.

Play by ear and enjoy!

FourFlapjacksPlease Sun 17-Jul-16 22:20:57

i went to a wedding when dc1 was 7 days old. I wore heels and everything! Not quite sure how I managed it - I suspect I was still in shock! When I had DC2 I didn't get dressed for about 3 weeks.

Grouchymare Sun 17-Jul-16 22:22:15

Yes I did this. It was totally fine - left our 2 year old with grandparents and just took the newborn. I bought a lovely bf dress and a stretchy wrap but actually she spent a lot of time sleeping in her carrycot under our chair. We had a fab time. I probably wouldn't have done it with no.1 but with no.2 it was a breeze. Now the 2 month old and 2 year old at the (long) catholic wedding 5 weeks later was not quite so easy!!

talksensetome Sun 17-Jul-16 22:24:50

I took ten day old ds to my sisters wedding and it was fine. He stole the limelight a litte though.
I was breastfeeding so just needed to take nappies and wipes.
Good luck and enjoy the wedding but dont be too hard on yourself if you arent feeling up to it. Birth can be hard work!

Luna2016 Sun 17-Jul-16 22:25:10

My SIL gave birth early (4 days befor mine and my DH wedding) she brought her daughter and all went well she slept through most of it. Don't panic and relax and have a great time.

Noodledoodledoo Sun 17-Jul-16 22:25:48

My nearly 2 year old is going to be a flowergirl at a wedding 4 weeks after my due date at a family wedding!

We have a room booked at the hotel, I have a feeding dress ready as my outfit, DH is going to be the main one running after the 2 year old!

It's going to be fun and games!!

BreakfastAtSquiffanys Sun 17-Jul-16 22:29:16

Who is looking after DC1 during wedding?

Dachshund Sun 17-Jul-16 22:34:25

I could have done this with DD but I luckily recovered quickly and she got the hang of feeding right away.

I think the key is to go with in low, maybe even zero, expectations. That way you won't feel too disappointed if things don't work out as you'd hoped. You have to consider the baby could be late and therefore only a week old?

wombthereitis Sun 17-Jul-16 22:41:21

Thanks for the different perspectives everyone smile

ELCS for DC2 has been booked in, so while she might be early she shouldn't be late! (with DD2 I delivered at 40+13 after a failed induction and EMCS. She was showing zero signs of being on her way when I was induced, so I'd be quite suprised if this one came early, though I suppose you never know). DC1 will be looked after one of her grandmothers who'll be staying with us overnight.

skankingpiglet Sun 17-Jul-16 22:42:07

I have a 3 1/2wk old bf baby and had an emcs. I could manage a wedding if I was able to be in the background. I wouldn't be staying until midnight though! I've healed sufficiently and we've lucked out (so far! Don't want to speak too soon!) with an 'easy' baby. Also as it's DC2, I'm confident enough to be out feeding etc all day with her.
If it was DD1 however, there would be no chance. Even though she was an elcs, I found the recovery much harder with her. She was a colicky Velcro baby who thought sleep was for quitters and wimps, and we had an awful time getting bf sorted. At 3wks I think I still had scabby nipples sad

Just see how you go would be my advice smile

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