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Twelve hugs a day?

(114 Posts)
Icecappedpinetrees Sun 17-Jul-16 21:41:48

Is this reasonable? 12 hugs a day with your children?

I'm reading 'Calm Parents, Happy Kids' and it suggests that your child needs 12 hugs a day in order to thrive. (8 to maintain and 4 to survive)

Do you agree? Do you manage this?

Or do you think it's unreasonable piffle paffle?

ginorwine Sun 17-Jul-16 21:43:07

I agree
But not as a prescription
But as a natural thing 😄

NavyandWhite Sun 17-Jul-16 21:43:36

I hug my dogs about 112 times a day blush kids get a bit less. grin

Believeitornot Sun 17-Jul-16 21:43:43

I don't manage 12 a day when I'm at work. But I try and hug them first thing and when they need one (even if they don't think they do).

Not however because of a book. But because I like to and don't remember any from my mum sad

KingJoffreyLikesJaffaCakes Sun 17-Jul-16 21:43:48

Great if they let you.

I find it a bit degrading screaming 'hug mummy' up the stairs at my 13 year old.

I think we probably manage 12 though. We do hug quite a lot.

acasualobserver Sun 17-Jul-16 21:43:53

What about four triple length hugs? Sounds like tripe to me.

Enkopkaffetak Sun 17-Jul-16 21:44:09

omg dd3 would kill me. She tolerates 1 a day from me. (says she doesn't like hugs " it is like being squeezed but with happiness")

She is a calm and happy child. took me some time to work out how to deal with her as I like hugging. However once I stopped she became much happier

dd2 ould likely do double that..

I don;t manage 12 a day every day

AnchorDownDeepBreath Sun 17-Jul-16 21:44:43

Hmm. I think how many hugs you want is quite personal. I'm huggy so probably naturally get more than 12 per day if there are people I like to hug around. Some people will want none. I imagine it's the same for children!

Sleeperandthespindle Sun 17-Jul-16 21:44:58

I've read it. I liked the book. I cannot manage twelve hugs a day (with 2 DC). I feel permanently guilty because of this, especially as my DC are actually very huggy. In the week, we only have 3-4 waking hours together, and most of those are routinely getting ready for school or bed!

Wolfiefan Sun 17-Jul-16 21:45:01

Are you supposed to count?
Can you do all twelve in the first 10 minutes they are awake and then ignore them until bedtime!
Sounds batshit to me. How do they come to such a number. Did they take 100 kids and try different numbers of hugs to see at what level they died of lack of cuddling?
I do actually think affection and cuddles (which autocorrect changes to cudgels!) are important. But I'm not bloody counting.

KingJoffreyLikesJaffaCakes Sun 17-Jul-16 21:45:24

My mum had 'bad arms' and I wasn't allowed to touch her.

She did hug me a few years back and it felt very weird.

MrsKoala Sun 17-Jul-16 21:45:44

How old are the kids? Mine are 4 and 2 and have one hug a day, i am quite strict on that. The fact it lasts 24hrs is another matter! grin

If they are 45 tho, going to their work to hug them may be a trifle excessive.

Vixyboo Sun 17-Jul-16 21:46:03

Just hug your child when it feels good and natural to do so!!

blueturtle6 Sun 17-Jul-16 21:46:17

Depends on length of hug too surely?

treaclesoda Sun 17-Jul-16 21:47:13

I'm always hugging my kids. Yet, perhaps hypocritically, I was the sort of child who wriggled away and went 'eeww,get off' if my parents tried to hug me when I was wee.

TerribleTwentyTwos Sun 17-Jul-16 21:47:27

My DD (2) gets that at least every day, when I'm not working. I, on the other hand, hate hugs (from anyone other than DD and DP) and would cringe at the thought of 12 hugs a day.

Pinkerbeller Sun 17-Jul-16 21:49:07

Calm parents and happy kids don't come from a prescribed number of hugs per day.

Having said that, if I ever meet any really calm parents and happy kids I'll fact check that statement.

Patterkiller Sun 17-Jul-16 21:49:25

When they're small I think easy to get near that. As teenage girls 🙄 I am the anti Christ and burn them if I touch or look at them.

booklooker Sun 17-Jul-16 21:50:21

I hug my dogs about 112 times a day blush kids get a bit less. grin

How sad that you seem to be a bit proud of that, NavyandWhite

oldbirdy Sun 17-Jul-16 21:52:03

Ridiculous to proscribe. My son has autism and hates hugs. I have hugged him probably twice in the last 7 years. We 'boof' instead. It's a gentle punch. Hugging him 12 times a day would be seriously deleterious to his health.

SouthDownsSunshine Sun 17-Jul-16 21:52:29

It's so prescriptive I'm wondering what constitutes a hug. Would a carry count? Sitting on my lap? Or just a hug hug?

MrsKoala Sun 17-Jul-16 21:53:13

Does it matter who initiates the hug? I would say may dc don't so much as hug me rather they wrestle me to the ground and get me in a head lock.

12 head locks a day, is that the same thing? And what will they thrive in? WWF?

Incitatus Sun 17-Jul-16 21:53:23

I'm recovering from a scabies infestation, so all hugs are out atm.

Will my dcs survive as it's been three weeks now? confused

sorenofthejnaii Sun 17-Jul-16 21:53:24

DS is a huggy person.

But when he takes forever to get off the computer and to get ready, it doesn't make me a calm parent.

NavyandWhite Sun 17-Jul-16 21:54:38

Today 21:50 booklooker

I hug my dogs about 112 times a day blush kids get a bit less. grin

How sad that you seem to be a bit proud of that, NavyandWhite

What a really horrible thing to say. I put a grin there to show I was fucking joking.

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