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AIBU to want to feel special for one day of the year? My Birthday!

(9 Posts)
rubyroo31 Sun 17-Jul-16 21:05:03

I have to vent, as I am almost over the crappiest birthday ever! My husband is useless when it comes to gifts for Christmas, birthdays etc, so I always pre empt with examples or even buying for myself most of the time, which I am I normally ok with... But This year has been the crappest ever as he hasn't bothered to take me out, as we HAD to go to one of his extended family members birthday party and unfortunately he is out with the guys all next weekend, so I guess I have to forget about my special time, as usual! I feel so insignificant! he basically ran out yesterday to local shop and bought generic card and gave me a cd that I didn't want (unwrapped I might add) our kids are not happy with him although I have tried to pretend it is fine, I feel more upset for them! I am not ungrateful,, but love the way he can afford a weekend away with the guys every few months! Please tell me I have a right to have been crying all day??

MsVestibule Sun 17-Jul-16 21:11:23

YANBU to want him to make a bit of an effort for your birthday, and I can't understand why celebrating the birthday of a friend takes precedence over celebrating yours.

I do think that crying all day is a little OTT - I guess that this is the tip of the iceberg in your relationship problems?

SpringSpringSpring Sun 17-Jul-16 21:12:46

DH and I don't tend to buy presents as neither of us likes the consumerism for the sake of it thing. It sounds like you other issues going on though - going away when it's not convenient for both of you is more serious. I don't understand the bit about your children getting involved - if they are small enough to be upset why would they even know?

limon Sun 17-Jul-16 21:18:02

Yabu and a bit immature.

BennyTheBall Sun 17-Jul-16 21:24:52

I don't think YABU.

We both make a big fuss of each other on birthdays.

It's one day of the year ffs.

Having said that, upsetting the children is not OK - but your husband is still an arse.

digimummy Sun 17-Jul-16 21:25:31

You know what, this happened to me 2 years ago. I think my OH had a gig and was away with work the next weekend, my present from my mum had been given to me
A few months before (we had just renovated and I wanted a cooker) and his present to me hadn't arrived.

On my birthday morning I had 0 presents to open and it was really really disappointing. But I told my mum and my OH how it made me feel (not in an Arsey way) so this year I asked if people wanted to come out for a cheap Italians on my birthday. And people came, and we had champagne and presents.

My point is, if you feel rubbish, say something. You don't have to be Arsey about it, just let them know you are feeling a bit ignored... Next year suggest something yourself. Men are crap hints and suggestions. X

EllaHen Sun 17-Jul-16 21:31:41

YANBU. I wouldn't mind getting nothing for my birthday. However, that's Not the issue here, is it?

It the confirmation that your dh does not give a shit.

My dh's birthday is next week and already I am excited at the thought of his opening his presents. It will make him happy.

And yes, the kids would hate for me to make little effort for their father.

Your husband either doesn't really care about you or is a complete bastard. Or both.

Pagwatch Sun 17-Jul-16 21:50:17

YANBU
Its not unreasonable to expect the man who is supposed to love you to take a bit of time and effort about your birthday.
The fact that other couples mutually chose to not give a shit about birthdays is neither here nor there.
I think birthdays matter and we celebrate them so a partner chosing to not give a shit would bother me immensely.

The 'men are crap' line is an absoloute crock of shit.

Does he know this stuff matters to you?
It can be a mismatch if one person thinks birthdays don't matter but the other cares. Have you told him how you feel?

SoThisIsSummer Sun 17-Jul-16 22:12:31

yanbu and it shows he is taking you for granted.

if he had managed to get taylor swift would he be so casual?

i think its really sad if for one day of the year partner cant make the other one feel special. unless its mutually the done thing,

op dh and I have very limited funds right now, and we mutually do not make much fuss over each other bdays.

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