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AIBU for this not to be my holiday

(6 Posts)
Banana99 Sun 17-Jul-16 19:14:41

We live a long distance from DHs hometown (like 5-6 hours).
We used to go there a lot, every Christmas, anniversaries, weddings, birthdays (even for mine once - still don't know why), long weekends, full weeks...
I have used dozens of days of annual leave and tons of money to do this - I have always hated going. I found PIL very difficult and their home very uncomfortable ( sleeping on floors etc) and all we did was sit indoors as they didn't like going out- it's really made me hate the place.

On top of this none of his family ever came to us bar a very small number of times on the basis it was easier for us (not true) and was inconvenient! He has a few friends but again it's always had to be us going to see them (I should point out we have lots more room than anyone there).

I have put up with this because of the distance for DH and when both his parents and grandparents died I vowed I was done going there.
The last few years we went up with DC I thought he had changed his mind about how great it was as its so noisy, busy, hard to find things to do.

Now he wants to go there for our summer holidays! I don't want to go!
There are a few relatives left, some of them I have hardly ever seen as they couldn't be bothered to make time/effort to see us when we were there.

I would be happy to go when DC were older to see where DH was from etc and much more to do for older children. I don't want to take DC to a city..

I want to go somewhere with a beach!

Euphemia Sun 17-Jul-16 19:25:08

What does DH say to your suggestion?

Lilaclily Sun 17-Jul-16 19:28:29

Can't dh go alone to see his friends on a boys weekend perhaps ?

Spadequeen Sun 17-Jul-16 19:30:31

Then do that. Tell him that that is not your idea of a holiday and you won't be doing that.

Banana99 Sun 17-Jul-16 19:34:44

I should point out he's already been back there 4 times this year alone - he seems to have quite a crappy time - hence he wants us to all go.

I've no desire to spend my holidays sitting around random elderly relatives houses bored out of my mind (and the kids!)

He's very much a 'people pleaser' unfortunatley.

When I mention going elsewhere he just goes - we could go home there's loads to do - we would have a great time!

I think he's desperately trying to hold a connection to his hometown which he did love - but he moved away 25 years ago now, it's changed and we've changed and the people there have changed!
I think I've done my jail time and deserve a break - I think if I didn't go for a few years I would like it more (although not sure elderly relatives will last!)

Branleuse Sun 17-Jul-16 19:37:03

say no way, visiting in laws is a chore, not a holiday in most cases

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