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AIBU to ask how many of you have secrets you don't tell a soul?

(64 Posts)
anotheroneofmeagain Sat 16-Jul-16 21:21:46

Just that really. How many people have a secret or secrets so big or disturbing that they can't utter them to a soul.

Also if you do how on earth do you stop it driving you totally insane?!

Cutecat78 Sat 16-Jul-16 21:25:55

I have several smile

anotheroneofmeagain Sat 16-Jul-16 21:27:57

Cute - you must be a very relaxed person!

LouSavage Sat 16-Jul-16 21:28:01

Yup and I hate it because I think the person it's about has a right to know but I'm under pressure to keep it secret! angry

Noonesfool Sat 16-Jul-16 21:28:46

No, not me. No siree. <looks shifty>

ExcuseMyEyebrows Sat 16-Jul-16 21:30:04

I have several too.

Some are trivial (but big to me), others major but I keep them to myself because they're no-one's business but mine.

Cutecat78 Sat 16-Jul-16 21:30:22

I am smile

I haven't murdered anyone btw...

wobblywonderwoman Sat 16-Jul-16 21:31:17

I can keep a secret but I don't have many

Only one - its not a big deal. Bit of an ex thing who I kept secret from a colleague who was marrying him. Ended up being invited to their wedding. Worked with her years and I don't let on I know him. I do 'know' him. We weren't serious. I found him funny, good fun but it was harmless. He used to phone me and she said they were dating for six years so I dont think he was faithful but they are really happy and a lovely couple.

Arfarfanarf Sat 16-Jul-16 21:31:50


HolesInTheFloor Sat 16-Jul-16 21:32:51

I have one huge secret, one big secret and lots of little ones. I have considered seeing a therapist because they bother me and I would be interest to see if talking about it would help. Although I'd prefer to tell a 'real' person because it's quite shocking and I'd like to see their reaction.

Okkitokkiunga Sat 16-Jul-16 21:33:43

Yup. I have one about me.

Owllady Sat 16-Jul-16 21:35:57

Yes unfortunately and tbh I'm completely fucked up by the actions and mistakes of other people but some of them have blamed me (abuse) and people believe it
I dunno I think it's proven to be normal that people believe abusers because they are charming, manipulative etc but it's a real kick in the teeth when you were abused and your closest relatives think it's you. So you just stop mentioning it. You don't disagree. You shut up, put up. Distance yourself yet it's still occassionally brought up, it's still your fault
So why tell anyone else?

Okkitokkiunga Sat 16-Jul-16 21:36:29

I deal with it by not thinking about it. Can't change it so ok point in worrying about it. It's 21yrs old now anyway.

Houseconfusion Sat 16-Jul-16 21:36:57

I do.

DannyFishcharge Sat 16-Jul-16 21:37:03

I do, and I'm toying with telling it as it is eating me up a little. It would just cause so much shit though sad

TheUnsullied Sat 16-Jul-16 21:37:55

I have a good few actually, some more jarring than others. They don't drive me mad specifically because nobody knows. There's no worry than anyone will get drunk or angry and blab.

RooDaisy Sat 16-Jul-16 21:38:03

I'm usually a can't hold my own water type of girl but an ex friend told me a secret about her family, who I know really well and even though she cut me off totally and choose my abusive ex over me, I will still never ever tell anyone what she told me. That helps me to get over the pain of feeling totally and utterly used for almost 6 years

AWaspOnAWindowInAHeatwave Sat 16-Jul-16 21:38:09

Yep. I do.

99percentchocolate Sat 16-Jul-16 21:39:03

Yep. I'm quite good at keeping secrets so people tend to share with me. I know a lot about a lot of people.

0phelia Sat 16-Jul-16 21:39:07

Does it count if only one person knows your huge secret?

I have been forced into keeping a huge family secret but one other person now knows.

My job is a huge secret but one person knows everything.

I have a trade secret surrounding work but one person knows.

I have many secrets, but they tend to involve other people.

I'd assume it's quite unusual to have a big secret where no one else were involved at all.

Thethingswedoforlove Sat 16-Jul-16 21:39:09


WhatTheFuckDoIDoNow Sat 16-Jul-16 21:40:58

Yes. Not horrifically disturbing but it would threaten my marriage.

anotheroneofmeagain Sat 16-Jul-16 21:42:00

Theunsullied - jarring is a good word, I feel pretty traumatised by what happened ! I must be really really lucky that I've never had to keep anything like this under my hat before!

deVelvet Sat 16-Jul-16 21:42:07

I have a secret about my past that I haven't told DP. Other people know this secret, but i just haven't told DP. I fear that if he knew then that would change the dynamic of our relationship

bertsdinner Sat 16-Jul-16 21:43:17

I do. Its something that I'm embarrassed and ashamed of. Its nothing bad, not criminal or offensive, but I dont ever mention it.
It doesn't bother me/prey on my mind as it is not a bad thing, but I would never admit it to anyone.

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