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Nasty mother regarding her son's development.

(41 Posts)
ProundParent2009 Sat 16-Jul-16 13:11:39

My son is 8 years old and has a wide range of disabilities.

Last week we got the results back from a recent development check from his health care professionals.. It turns out his speech and language is currenty at 8-12 Months and physically 12-18 months.

I am a full time dad however due to court hearing I need to inform his mother of any information regarding our Son and his health care professionals/ Schooling.

I texted her as soon as I found out and she replied " is that it? Why can't he be like a normal 8 year old.. All he does is baby babble and fall over no wonder it's that low"

Since that text our son has turned 8 years old and she hasn't even wished him a happy birthday :/ it feels like she is embarrassed and dissapointed in her son!

AIBU to take her back to court and try and change things? She can see him supervised but hardly shows up and when I give her information regarding our son she is just plain nasty.

SpeakNoWords Sat 16-Jul-16 13:17:22

I don't understand what you want to change? You can't force her to be a better parent, sadly. I'd send her the necessary info and try and ignore any response that you get.

NeedsAsockamnesty Sat 16-Jul-16 13:22:01

Why do you need to notify her of results?

What does the order actually state?

More usual would be notify of the existence in order to prompt a request to the HCP
or take no steps to prevent access to information.
Or provide HCP with contact details in order for them to send the same letters to you both.

Ive seen a few of your threads she really is very tiresome, to stop it stressing you out you need to find a way of providing yourself with a buffer whilst remaining inside the terms of the actual order

RubbleBubble00 Sat 16-Jul-16 13:27:34

You notified her. Ignore and carry on with your life with your son

livinginabox Sat 16-Jul-16 13:28:04

I agree, get the HCP to inform her directly so you limit your co tact with her. She sounds bloody awful and neither of you need to ha e that around you.

abbsismyhero Sat 16-Jul-16 13:29:06

Next time get the hcp to copy the report to her take yourself out of the equation

I would maybe just keep informing her like you do but ignore the replies. They are no doubt very hurtful, but don't let it affect you and your son. You wouldn't be UR to take her back to court but why waste your time on her?

wizzywig Sat 16-Jul-16 13:34:06

She sounds like an utter utter heartless bitch.

monkeysox Sat 16-Jul-16 13:45:40

flowersand cake you're doing well. She's not nice

Aspergallus Sat 16-Jul-16 13:46:59

So sorry. It sounds incredibly difficult for you and your son. Hope you have other forms of support.

Arfarfanarf Sat 16-Jul-16 13:47:36

I think you need to accept that the person you have described in this and previous threads does not love or want to be the mother to this child and adjust your expectations accordingly.
Get copies of reports sent directly and find other ways of complying with the court order.
The person as you describe her on here is not willing to be a mother to this child. You need to stop expecting that she'll act like one.

In the us you can terminate parental rights. I dont know if that's something that can be done here but I'd look into it if i were you. She clearly doesnt want to be this child's mother and brings nothing but unpleasantness.

HooseRice Sat 16-Jul-16 13:50:37

If you can't get the HCP to copy her, I suggest you copy her by post.

All the best to you and your boy.

FluffyPanda Sat 16-Jul-16 13:50:47

Just give her the basics and ignore anything she comes out with.

You're doing a fab job on your own, your son only needs you. Not the waste of space mother.

Mymouthgetsmeintrouble Sat 16-Jul-16 13:52:37

Put the information required in writing and block her from contacting you by phone , she recieves the information required and you dont see any (vile) reply

TestingTestingWonTooFree Sat 16-Jul-16 13:55:27

I agree with posting information to her so she's less likely to reply. She sounds horrible. You can't change her feelings or behaviour.

Why do you want to go back to court? What do you think that will achieve?

ThumbWitchesAbroad Sat 16-Jul-16 13:56:46

Oh that's dreadful. I agree with getting the HCPs to notify her and avoid contact with her yourself at all.

So sorry sad

Finola1step Sat 16-Jul-16 13:58:03

I would register a new email that you use just for communication with her. Then email any relevant info as and when. That way you have proof of what you have sent.

Or send info registered post. Again so you have proof that you have sent it if you ever need proof.

But don't engage.

GabsAlot Sat 16-Jul-16 13:58:04

go through the third parties just dont have any contact with her tell them and show the court her replies

NeedsAsockamnesty Sat 16-Jul-16 13:59:14

It's normal practise for HCP to send seperate letters/reports to both parents these days.

And to the poster upthread who asked about terminating parental rights in the UK and without an actual adoption it's incredibly rare.

I can think of 4 cases off the top of my head nationally and all of them involved pretty extream abuse.

Ending actual PR is far more unusual than just not granting it in the first place.

Jackie0 Sat 16-Jul-16 14:01:37

Take her to court and change which things ?

RedHareWithBlondeHair Sat 16-Jul-16 14:03:32

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GenerationX2 Sat 16-Jul-16 14:04:05

I'm so sorry your post mad me so sad, I agree with wizzywig - she is a heartless bitch.

I wish you could cut her out your life - and honestly if I ruled the world I would approve that based solely on that text

ThumbWitchesAbroad Sat 16-Jul-16 14:07:55

I would imagine going back to court would be to remove the need to inform the child's mother of anything to do with her son, and to possibly stop the supervised visits, if she's not bothering to show up, because it's a waste of time for everyone else.

In which case, yes, you might as well - but you'd need to have proof of her failure to attend, and of the nasty things she's said.

RedHare - if that is the OP's real name, then I strongly suggest you report your own post to either be deleted or get it modified to remove the name. It's incredibly rude to out people on MN.

RedHareWithBlondeHair Sat 16-Jul-16 14:18:35

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

honkinghaddock Sat 16-Jul-16 14:19:20

That was an unpleasant comment RedHair.

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