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To NOT be disappointed that DD isn't going to university?

(80 Posts)
pillows123 Sat 16-Jul-16 08:37:48

I know this is an odd question, but my friends are a little hmm as to why I'm not disappointed. DD actually wants to be a forewoman, which I'm very proud of.

Just curious, would you be disappointed??

ArgyMargy Sat 16-Jul-16 08:40:19

No, I wouldn't. What's a forewoman?

pillows123 Sat 16-Jul-16 08:41:42

That's a typo grin she wants to become a firefighter.

neonrainbow Sat 16-Jul-16 08:41:58

I didn't go to uni and think it's a waste of time unless you have a specific career in mind. Its not the be all and end all.

DiamondInTheRuff Sat 16-Jul-16 08:42:23

Going off to uni at 18 was a huge mistake for me. I had no idea what I wanted to do, picked the wrong degree and ended up saddled in debt.

I will not encourage my children to go to uni just for the sake of it. If they know what they want to do, and need a degree to do it then obviously I will fully support them!

So no, I think YANBU.

blueskyinmarch Sat 16-Jul-16 08:42:33

Do you mean firefighter? If so then it is a something to be very proud of.

DiamondInTheRuff Sat 16-Jul-16 08:43:34

I thought she was going to be a forewoman on a building site! Firefighter is also pretty awesome though. grin

Piemernator Sat 16-Jul-16 08:45:23

I worked in higher education for 25 years and can assure you it is most definitely a waste of time for some students.

DD did not go to University and trained on the job as such, DS will go to University, he is aiming for a vocational degree with a really high percentage of employment post qualification.

MothButterfly Sat 16-Jul-16 08:45:33

I went to uni and although I learned some really fascinating things and a few life skills it hasn't led to a career that I couldn't have done without it. I have always been a bit directionless and lacking ambition. like a poster above I think uni is best if you have a specific career path in mind.

pillows123 Sat 16-Jul-16 08:48:28

She thought about it and was going to go for the sake of it, as she was worried what people would think if she didn't have a degree. But she has always wanted to be a firefighter, so I was a bit confused don't waste £27,000+ on something you don't even need or want!

Ditsy4 Sat 16-Jul-16 08:49:01

No I let mine do what they wanted two went to uni and two didn't. One worked his way up to manager and one won't even take supervisors job. He says " I go in, do my job, go home, think about other things." He's been brought up with me working in Education since he was 6. I sometimes think he's right.
It is an amazing job, good luck to her. Can't believe they are saying that.

Evergreen17 Sat 16-Jul-16 08:53:46

I went to uni as all my siblings but only my brother and I are working on the field we studied.
DP didnt go and he is a firefighter

I agree with those that say that if you dont have a specific career in mind that requires that degree you dont need to go.

Hard work, volunteering, short courses, traineeships, all very much useful and productive

Evergreen17 Sat 16-Jul-16 08:55:15

You get a lot of course work and training and preparation at fire brigade
It is really not what some people think, these men and women get full on training and most of it is about endurance, discipline, safety, people skills, all sorts


Evergreen17 Sat 16-Jul-16 08:56:25

And management
Although they do rescue the occasional cat too smile
Some rumours are true

anyname123 Sat 16-Jul-16 09:00:03

I went and now I'm a nurse, obviously very vocational. DP went and did something in IT, works in something completely unrelated, his degree wasn't ruined for, has to pay about £150 a month student loan back! He just went for the girls and beer I think grin a degree you won't use is a very expensive luxury in IMHO

ParadiseCity Sat 16-Jul-16 09:00:03


I didn't go to university- got fed up with education and there was nothing I wanted to study any more- and have a graduate 'level' job.

People are very odd about it though. Sometimes people are really surprised I have no degree as though it is somehow a shortcoming. One friend said 'ooh don't worry you could never tell'. hmm

Doinmummy Sat 16-Jul-16 09:01:47

My DD didn't want to do A levels and that was absolutely fine by me . She's now an apprentice and is doing amazingly well . It's horses for courses . University and even school for that matter , isn't for everyone .

RosieandJim89 Sat 16-Jul-16 09:11:49

I went to uni and so did DH (a bit later on as he wasn't ready at 18) but we are both in agreement that unless you have a specific career in mind that requires a degree it is not worth going. I would not be heavily encouraging my son to go or disappointed if he decided it wasn't for him.

RandomMess Sat 16-Jul-16 09:16:37

Absolutely no point going unless it's something they want to do and have something they want to study. After all DC have a lifetime ahead of them and they may want to go at 22, 30, 45 whatever it's not a once in a lifetime only opportunity!

I'd far rather my DC worked for a few years first or studied as part of the job but if they want to go to Uni then that is fine too.

JimmyGreavesMoustache Sat 16-Jul-16 09:19:10

i went at 18 and did a non-vocational, slightly beard-scratchy degree without a clue about what I wanted to do. That was all fine and dandy when university was free and there were maintenance grants.

However, given the cost nowadays, I'd rather my DC waited until they had a clearer idea of what they wanted to achieve and how, before committing all that time and money. That might mean they go at 18, or 25, or not at all.

Bogburglar99 Sat 16-Jul-16 09:22:38

One of the sharpest (and nicest) young people I ever worked with decided at 18 that university wasn't worth the candle. She was absolutely great at what she did and university wouldn't have enhanced it at all. She did decide to go to uni as a mature student in her early 20s, and I think both she and the university will have got far more out of it.

I also worked recently with someone who left school at 18, worked, brought up kids, and then got a first class degree in her thirties. She was awesome.

I think we could do with far fewer people doing university at 18 just because, or to get the 'graduate jobs' ticket, lots of different routes into work, and loads more ways to make lifelong learning feasible and affordable. Lots of people may find they want to do a degree at 28, or 38, or 48, but the system isn't set up to make that easy for them.

iwouldgoouttonight Sat 16-Jul-16 09:25:27

YANBU. I went to uni and enjoyed it, but I don't think it has particularly helped me career wise. I work with people who are at the same level as me or higher who got there from training and experience on the job.

In the past when uni wasn't so expensive I'd have said it's worth it for the experience of living away from family, meeting people you wouldn't ordinarily have met, various life skills, blah blah. But I don't think those things are worth getting into thousands of pounds of debt for. I won't mind if my DSs go to university or not.

Firefighter sounds ace, I wish I'd been that clear what I wanted to do when I was that age.

lljkk Sat 16-Jul-16 09:44:25

Can be a firefighter AND go to university. They aren't mutually exclusive.

My eldest isn't even going to 6th form (his grades are plenty good enough). I try not to talk about it to folk. Don't find their reactions useful.

babybythesea Sat 16-Jul-16 09:50:38

Interesting. We are running into the opposite.DH didn't go to uni. He's worked since he was 16 and is now highly experienced but with no paper qualifications in his field. He's been looking at management level jobs but it's hard for him to get them because he's lacking a degree which most others at that level have. He's unlikely to progress up within the same organisation (the nature of the business) but to have to move to a different organisation and a degree is something that is used as the first stage of sorting people. He's not at all academic so he is thinking long and hard about what happens now and there's no easy answer.

Foxyloxy1plus1 Sat 16-Jul-16 09:51:28

I think the expectation that the majority of the population should go to university is misplaced and has led to many doing a degree that is neither use nor ornament.

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