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AIBU To be disappointed/suspicious of new ND neighbours?

(5 Posts)
musicislife Sat 16-Jul-16 00:12:51

After living next door to quiet and distant (although we spoke /took in each other's parcels all the very civil things) neighbours for 22 years , I was looking forward to a new family moving in with dc's of 8,5 and 1. So basically since day 1 I have spoken to the mum once when I went round to welcome them and never to the dad, dh has spoken to the dad once because the dad knocked here to collect a parcel but was very brief, and dh has never spoken to the mum this is all since September 2015. The pattern of behaviour that troubles us is that although we can hear the children and the dad shouting/playing through the wall or because sound travels through their conservatory Windows (whether we're inside or in the garden) we have never heard the mum's voice , not once and the children not very often considering their ages, but what we DO hear is the dad losing his temper even when he seems to have been playing with them for a while, then we can clearly hear him swearing at them at the top of his voice and a few days ago this resulted in the 8year old thundering up the stairs and his voice came through the bedroom window crying 'so this is my life', my heart broke for him.msorry for the long explanation but this is a quiet area and I know parents have drastically different ways of dealing with their children but I just don't agree with swearing at or even in front of children and my DH is just as surprised by this behaviour as he has never used bad language in front of our dc's. Any thoughts? Thanks

WorraLiberty Sat 16-Jul-16 00:20:09

My thoughts are that you have been used to living next door to quiet and distant neighbours.

Now you have different neighbours.

I don't like hearing people swearing at children, but it happens.

The 'so this is my life' is sooo something that lots of 8 year olds (and teenagers actually) will say when they're pissed off, so I wouldn't read too much into that.

And WRT not hearing the Mum's voice, I don't think I've ever heard the woman next door to me's voice through the wall in the 9 years they've lived there.

musicislife Sat 16-Jul-16 01:01:09

Thanks, puts a perspective on it, it's just that he does seem to like the sound of his own voice.
I had hoped they'd be friendly but they don't even acknowledge when we're both outside our front doors, maybe they had a bad experience with their previous neighbours.

musicislife Sat 16-Jul-16 01:05:49

Also I think he's heading for trouble by setting that example of shouting abuse, it all sounds very tense and the dc's are going to learn this is how you react to disagreements , he even snaps at the 1 year old!

GreatFuckability Sat 16-Jul-16 01:09:27

You know nothing about their lives. I swear around and have occasionally sworn at my children. I'm not proud of it, but i'm human and human's are not perfect. in times of great stress its very easy to be a less than perfect parent. I have a 12 year old who thinks the world is ending regularly and stomps around loudly proclaiming how awful her life is. it isn't.

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