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AIBU to want to throttle masticating DH?

(27 Posts)
ladyjadey Fri 15-Jul-16 23:45:27

This evening I have watched tv with almost hubby. He has munched his way loudly through a bag of refrigerated galaxy minstrels. I have PMT and the munchy, chewy sounds must have reached around 120 decibels. Is it reasonable to report him to the council for noise pollution or can I just bury him under the patio?

Does anyone else suffer from this? Please tell me I am not alone!!!!

Harveyrabbit76 Fri 15-Jul-16 23:51:35

Hi! I have a unhealthy dislike of people eating noisily, my husband being one of them! Did you say anything? Thing is I know my husband doesn't realise he is doing it but it makes me mad. I hate the sound of people chewing gum, eating crisps, slurping coffee etc and it doesn't matter what time of month it is! You are not alone!

Doobydoo Fri 15-Jul-16 23:54:44

You are not alone! If i am feeling pre menstrual it is worse. However i hate it. Tis as bad as snoring! I do sometimes bellow 'don't chew in my ear' and i feel full of loathing whichh is terrible as he is a lovely chap. I had a best friend at boarding school...however at mealtimes i really disliked her....awful chewing and chomping.

Doobydoo Fri 15-Jul-16 23:55:51

Slurping too....Why? Just eat and drink fekn normally.

SaggyNaggy Fri 15-Jul-16 23:57:08


Google it. smile

TheGirlWithAllTheGits Fri 15-Jul-16 23:57:37

Misophonia - Google it. It's a real thing. I have a horror of hearing people eat, multiple sneezes and various other people-generated noises smile

TheGirlWithAllTheGits Fri 15-Jul-16 23:58:03

Ha. Good cross post

ladyjadey Fri 15-Jul-16 23:58:26

Oh thank god there are others out there!!!!!

I have whinged out loud today as I am crabby and intolerant. When I an feeling sane I often get up and leave the room as an urge to beat him senseless comes over me, I make a pathetic excuse and do one. He is a lovely man and I don't normally want to dismember him and stomp on the bits. Only when he eats noisy sloppy things.

justilou Sat 16-Jul-16 10:33:34

Mine has taken to loudly sucking each of his fingers after eating... It's not long and lascivious, or remotely seductive.... But FFS! Use a goddamn napkin!!!

FeliciaJollygoodfellow Sat 16-Jul-16 11:28:09


The other night DH said that he can tell when he dies, I'll put on his headstone 'at least his bastard face is quiet' grin

Seriously it's so bad. He chews with his mouth closed I just don't understand why he's so fuckin LOUD!

justcallmemarypoppins Sat 16-Jul-16 11:32:57

My DH chews loudy and almost makes lip smacking noises yet he chews with mouth closed.
Also, I can hear his teeth bang together!!! It's awful!!

squiz81 Sat 16-Jul-16 12:00:42

I have such an issue with noisy eaters that I wouldn't have married my husband if he was one. I would have nipped the relationship in the bud very early on. His parents are noisy eaters, we avoid eating with them as much as is earthly possible.

Ed1tY0urPr0f1le Sat 16-Jul-16 12:16:56


I really struggle to sit next to my DH when he's eating, unless I am eating myself (I suppose my own eating noises must drown him out!)

He went through a long phase of enjoying a bowl of muesli while watching TV in the evenings - argh! Thankfully he doesn't do that anymore but he does like a bag of nuts sometimes which is almost unbearable!

If I am watching TV and my mum comes in with an apple or nectarine I have to either make an excuse to leave the room for a few minutes or really concentrate on keeping my breathing steady (thanks NCT!) but that's only a few times a year when she visits so easier to deal with!

Definitely misophonia! But if I mention it to anyone in RL they look at me weird!

Ed1tY0urPr0f1le Sat 16-Jul-16 12:21:28

Also, it's not always that the person is a noisy eater - my DH really isn't that bad, in fairness to him. It's impossible to eat something like cereal, nuts or sweets without a bit of slurping and chomping after all. It's more that the person with misophonia is hypersensitive to the sounds and picks up every little one.

NavyandWhite Sat 16-Jul-16 12:29:46

YABU for saying hubby but not U about the noise.

user1466200877 Sat 16-Jul-16 12:31:13

Noisy eating and, also bad table manners! Was on a cruise recently and the majority of people didn't hold their knife or fork properly. One of them stabbed a piece of meat with a fist holding the fork and then proceeded to carve meat off it.!! Also, talking with a mouthful of food. Disgusting.

Banana99 Sat 16-Jul-16 12:34:47

DH holds his food slightly away from his mouth and then slurps it in - for that he gets a slap.
Put the fork into your fucking mouth! He had inherited this from his mother who taught him it was acceptable to put a knife in your mouth (second slap)

bigtapdancingpimp Sat 16-Jul-16 12:41:14

My ex husband was forrin and horrendous for this; I managed to train encourage him to eat in that silent British way but imagine my horror when I went to his home country and there were 30 of his family members at our 'welcome meal' all sitting round chomping, slurping, lip-smacking and nom nom nomming for an entire evening shock It was like being surrounded by a pack of Homer Simpsons grin

Robbo78 Sat 16-Jul-16 12:43:17

I'm quite noise intolerant anyway, but pmt time its horrible. Cars reving, lawnmowers, fucking beeping cars, motorbikes, whinning children, sniffing people behind me on buses, people not having money/passes ready getting on the bus......

Writing this has wound me up, god I'm miserable fucker smile

Hassled Sat 16-Jul-16 12:44:48

You've taken me straight back to an O Level Biology classroom and the incredibly mature sniggering about masticating cows grin.

DH's main eating-related sin is the over-enthusiastic and frankly unnecessary stirring of cereal. He stirs it round and round and round again in the milk in noisy and pointless manner which makes me want to kill him with fire. I asked him once how he felt he had improved the cereal-eating experience with all the stirring and he just looked confused.

Buttwing Sat 16-Jul-16 12:48:29

I have misophonia it's really crapsad

My main trigger is food/mouth noises and also multiple noises eg TV on, couple of iPads and someone talking. Both give me the worst rage in the world I want to kill the person! Dp gets the worst of it I frequently leave them room when he's eating. I know I'm unreasonable because he doesn't eat that noisily but to me he sounds like a fucking pig in a trough!

ladyjadey Sun 17-Jul-16 00:20:36

Ha! I am positively delighted that you all feel the same grin

peppersaunt Sun 17-Jul-16 00:26:34

Another future husband throttler (next time he dares to eat nuts in my presence - makes me cringe)!

madmother1 Sun 17-Jul-16 00:28:34

My exH still eats a meal by saying ummmm at the start. It drives me mad even now. My boss eats apples in the office. My toes curl!

Doobydoo Sun 17-Jul-16 14:23:51

Also banging/scraping or tapping spoon in a bowl. Raaaaaaargh

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