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Should I be worried about ds & friendships?

(7 Posts)
Brooksideclose Fri 15-Jul-16 12:48:04

The situation is I'm a bit worried about ds (8) especially with the holidays coming up.

Where do I start? He can't really play out because it's not suitable where we live, there are no children directly by us and the ones that do always seem to have domestics going on with police being called and so on or are running across the road when they should be in bed. He plays in the garden but that's it, he just spends hours kicking a ball around the garden.

He seems to have friends at school, he always tells me he's played with someone, he gets invited to quite a few parties, but never to anyone's house. I've had one child over a couple of times because ds kept asking, but this was never reciprocated. I know that they do have other children over because I've seen them picking kids up from school and they've arranged things in front of me.

I'm always friendly to all the other mums we've all got each others numbers and will text about certain things but no one ever invites ds over even though they arrange things amongst themselves.

I'm starting to get a bit paranoid that they're put off by where I live, I do probably live on one of the less nice roads, but we have a clean and tidy home, it's not that bad and I'm a responsible person. If it's not that it must be me, or ds.

He does a couple of clubs after school but I'm not sure what else I can do.

I only have one friend with a child similar age but we only meet up occasionally.

Brooksideclose Fri 15-Jul-16 12:52:20

Even if I was to take him to more activities it's usually quite structured, I feel that what he needs is to just play with other children.

Whenever we go to the parks he always makes friends really easily so I'm not sure why he hasn't ended up getting invites through school.

Lymmmummy Fri 15-Jul-16 12:54:15

It sounds like you are doing all you can do

Bit disappointing that one mum is happy to have you host her son but will not repay the favour - sadly cliques do exist and some parents do not see play dates or even invited to b-day parties as part of a reciprocal type way of dealing with things - which is entirely their choice and could be for valid reasons

I think you have done all you can do school wise - I might look at focusing on expanding friendships in the out of school activities groups

Magstermay Fri 15-Jul-16 12:57:41

You say you've had one child over, have you invited any others? I can understand your concerns, but they unless you invite them and they decline, you can't really complain that they're not inviting your son.

LordTrash Fri 15-Jul-16 13:01:26

Echoing Lymmmummy, perhaps explore a new group of friends through something like cubs or a sport or hobby?

Poor ds though, it's all very unfair.

Brooksideclose Fri 15-Jul-16 13:06:50

Magster I suppose I haven't directly, I'm not very confident and because the invites were never reciprocated it put me off asking.

I'm also very conscious of where I live, don't get me wrong it's hardly horrendous but I know from parties some of the others live on nicer roads.

Brooksideclose Fri 15-Jul-16 13:17:03

I don't think the whole class are leaving him out.

There seems to be a bit of a boy/girl divide, then there's the parents that you literally never, ever see because they're at work, then there's a small clique of parents whose older dc are in the same class or because the parents are good friends.

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