To this this is ridiculous

[lastqueenofscotland]

I've posted before about this, a brief outline, like most Londoners in their twenties I live in a house share, we get on fine, we had a girl move in a few months ago who I posted about eating all my food, which was annoying. She has stopped.

However she is yet to pay her rent on time since she's been here and try's to cover it up in a charmingly ditzy way... Anyway agent is dealing with that.

she is however fucking grim. Whenever she's used the shower it's like someone has shaved a dog in there hair all over the place, and I only assume she believes in the washing up fairy. She hadn't done washing up for days and days and days and eventually it got to a stage where the kitchen stank and we share stuff so there was hardly anything left for anyone else, so the other day I politely said to her would she mind doing her washing up, shared space/shared items etc and she said no she was busy (laid on the sofa watching a Disney film) so i was a bit firmer and said she really did have to do now as the kitchen smelt, she clearly wasn't busy and it's not fair on anyone else. She got up and huffed and puffed but did it.

I got back to find her mum in our lounge who had a go at me and said I was bullying her .
She's 26!!!!
Aibu to think that was ridiculous... And that you don't leave washing up for over a week.

[lastqueenofscotland]

As in I got back from work today and her mum was in our lounge waiting for me

[MrsHathaway]

Get her mum wash up for her

In all seriousness, although she's clearly a nightmare, it was rude to turf her off the sofa to clean up right that second.

[yougetme]

Thats the problem with flat shares. You dont know what a person is like until youve shared living space with them.
Is there a get out clause in their contract? So they have a 3 month trial for example.
Of was she foisted on you by the landlord with no say in whether she fits in or not?

[Pixilicious]

I disagree MrsHathaway, the flatmate is a dirty skank and I'd be very pissed off to have to even have that conversation. Why should the OP have to put up with her disgusting standards. Good for you OP and if I'd have been you if have told her mum to butt out!

[MyKingdomForBrie]

I just couldn't live like that. I'd be looking for a new house share or a studio to rent.

[Magicpaintbrush]

YANBU - that's very selfish of her. You all have to live in the same shared space and use the same facilities, she needs to pull her weight. And getting her mum to have a pop at you is very childish. She sounds immature and lazy. If her mum thinks she's such an angel maybe she should move back in with her parents....!!

[abbsismyhero]

What did you say to her mom? I would be using words like standards hygiene and piss take

[lastqueenofscotland]

Mykingdom I can't afford London studios!

And re the other q the Angecy found her when someone else moved out.

It might have been rude but she's a walking tornado, she's left takeaway out everywhere before that's spilled on the floor etc and not cleaned it up. I did just snap

[DeadGood]

Sounds like her mum is part of the problem, I'd see it that way if you can (rather than seeing her as a neutral arbiter of fairness), accept they are both a bit crackers and try to set some boundaries with your flat mate.

[Paintedhandprints]

What did you say to her mum?
I would have been caught wrong footed I imagine.

[MrsHathaway]

Oh I agree she needs telling, but instead of saying "oi skank, your shit is all over the kitchen and nobody else can cook" over and over, OP has become her house mother and given her the opportunity to retreat into teenage "sooooo unfair" mode.

Mind you, in similar circumstances I just used to spend hours washing up so I'm not the most assertive advisor

[lastqueenofscotland]

I said that I was sorry she felt this way but the kitchen really was a state and it wasn't fair on everyone else, to which she just huffed and puffed about bullying.

[SenoritaViva]

How many of you are there? Her mum has clearly indulged her (and still is).

[lastqueenofscotland]

Mrs Hathaway is been asking her to nicely for four days!!!

[lastqueenofscotland]

Señorita - 4, 2 girls 2 boys.

[whois]

You should have asked her mum why she failed in basic parenting and brought up such a dirty skank!

[TheNaze73]

YANBU, she sounds like a skank. At 26, should be more self aware & not be getting her Mum to fight her battles

[TheNaze73]

whois I didn't see your post before I did. Skank is a great word

[SenoritaViva]

Do the boys feel the same? Can you have a house meeting and set up some 'rules' or a rota without pointing the finger they are her habits?
She sounds selfish and lazy and revolting. Poor you.

[MrsHathaway]

Ugh, definitely sounds like the mother is the problem ... shame it wasn't still a pigsty for her to see though. If she'd been in the day before you could have said "seriously? You think it's acceptable to leave the kitchen like this?"

I recommend you keep a photographic record of her excesses for the landlord/letting agent.

[MrsHathaway]

• part of the problem. Clearly skank is the immediate problem!

[harderandharder2breathe]

She's a skank and obviously expects the world to indulge her like mummy always has.

Tell her to move out if she has a problem (back to mummy's is probably best as she'll be expected to clean up after herself anywhere else)

[lastqueenofscotland]

Yes they do, they are more the passive-aggressive text messages/post it note types, but I know they are exasperated too.

[SenoritaViva]

I think you need a meeting! Set a standard.

Or keep collecting all her skanky stuff (takeaway tubs etc) on her bed with a post it very politely asking for her to dispose of in the right place!

Or, get the agency to work on the late payments. Get her replaced and ask if you can briefly vet any future tenants for skank radar

[SenoritaViva]

Ahh put on her bed. Sorry!