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To ask if you're a sahp what your finances look like?

(29 Posts)
Adreamisawish Thu 14-Jul-16 15:26:18

Just going back to work after mat leave, we have twins, dh works full time I work part time. After paying childcare I won't be bringing home anything until they get their funded hours when they are 2.

Although my job is part time it's quite a heavy workload and can be stressful although I do enjoy it and have worked hard to get my current role.

Myself and dh are considering if I should become a sahm. We could probably just about afford it but things would be tight. How do other couples where one stays at home manage? I know income is relative etc but I'm hoping to hear the good and bad points.

Adreamisawish Thu 14-Jul-16 15:27:22

Should also have mentioned we live up north so housing costs/cost of living not too high.

WilLiAmHerschel Thu 14-Jul-16 15:46:55

I'm a sahm. I had a fair bit of money saved in a personal saving account before giving up work. Dp's main account became our joint account. Plus sides, I'm able to do so much with our dd. Down sides, I get no breaks, no free time in the week. I really miss coffee breaks, reading on the commute, time to go the toilet alone...it really isn't easy and if my work had allowed it I would have gone part-time.

One thing that often stands out to me in posts I read on here is that women often talk about all their wages being spent on childcare. Well the children have a mother and a father who both need childcare so perhaps you should try and picture that money that is being spent on childcare is being paid by both of you. Because it should be. Good luck whatever you decide.

Babyroobs Thu 14-Jul-16 15:48:41

We have never had one of us at home despite having 4 kids because we just couldn't afford it. We did manage to have virtually no childcare costs by us both working around each other. Could this be possible for you, you may need to rethink what type of work you do. My dh has always worked more or less 9-5 and I have always done nights/ weekends or evenings. It is hard but does mean more income coming into the home.

Adreamisawish Thu 14-Jul-16 16:06:04

wil we have joint finances so my wage would go in the pot and childcare would just be another bill to come out of the pot, so although technically we will both be paying towards it, it's still family money.

baby my dh does shift work and being called in at short notice etc is part of his job which makes it impossible for me to work around him without using childcare.

MoMandaS Thu 14-Jul-16 16:08:04

I am a SAHM to twins and a third child, though I do some freelance work on an ad hoc basis (doesn't bring in much). We were worried about how we'd manage (I gave up work after first child) but I have no idea where my salary used to go! On meals out, holidays etc I suppose, none of which we have much chance to do these days! I think it's important to establish the financial dynamics. My husband's salary goes into his own account but he puts most of it in the joint account and splits the remainder between us equally, so we each have our own money for luxuries but most things are paid for by the joint account. Any money I earn goes into a separate account (in my name) so we know if we can afford a holiday, new washing machine etc, without denting the joint account which is mainly for household expenses and day to day family stuff.

MoMandaS Thu 14-Jul-16 16:10:36

Is your current job something you could go back to doing if things got difficult?

Pinkheart5915 Thu 14-Jul-16 16:13:48

I am a SAHM but I have a large income from rental properties and dh works full time in law and brings in a very good wage. All our money goes in to joint account and joint savings

Adreamisawish Thu 14-Jul-16 16:16:30

Mom probably wouldn't be able to go back to the company I'm with now but possibly something similar without the flexibility I have now.

TheOnlyPink Thu 14-Jul-16 16:30:44

I'm a sahm, mainly because childcare ate up all my salary, and it wasn't worth the hassle for no financial benefit. To earn more, I needed to go to college and train, but we couldn't afford childcare without an income from me, so it was the most logical option.

Financially, it took some adjusting and learning how to manage money properly. But, all money is family money, and we are ok. We have enough for all our needs, and some wants, so think we are doing well. Because I'm home, I have time for money saving things such as cooking everything from scratch, shopping around, reducing waste etc. I used a lot of convenience items when I was working!
Dh and I do pocket money that's for our own things, it's an equal amount depending on how much is left after bills. Most months it's about €50 each, and it covers things like books, make up, games etc. Kids stuff comes from joint account.

It does take some organising and discipline to keep within your means, but once the essentials are covered it's easier to manage. I will say though, if you have absolutely nothing left after the essentials, being a sahm is grim. Sitting alone at home, can't even get to a playground because it's lashing, or to a cafe to break the monotony, no money for toddler groups or soft play. It would really get you down. There's only so much isolation and at home things you can take. So do allow some days out money in your plans!

Good luck with your decision, it's not easy. No matter what choice a parent makes, it's always wrapped up in guilt. My advice is look for long term gain, on either side!

Adreamisawish Thu 14-Jul-16 16:38:10

Thanks pink, I think we would definitely need to manage our money better. On paper we have an ok amount of disposable income but in reality often end up waiting for payday, I think we waste quite a bit!

It's such a hard decision, things would get easier in a 18 months time when they get their funding but I'm going to hate working for nothing for that length of time.

Babyroobs Thu 14-Jul-16 16:50:04

Do all children get funding at 2 years now? I thought the 2 year funding was only for certain children. Is that set to be expanded to all 2 year olds?

RubbleBubble00 Thu 14-Jul-16 16:54:18

I work pt but would be the same method if I didn't work. All money goes into an account. Standing order is set to send money to accounts for food, petrol, spending - equality for both of us and is our own to pend as we wish, car costs, childcare, savings ect - you can set up loads of online websavers to divide money. What's left covers the bills and isn't touched

RubbleBubble00 Thu 14-Jul-16 16:54:43

All bills are dd or standing order

Babyroobs Thu 14-Jul-16 16:55:35

Op, have you checked what help you might get towards childcare costs from the childcare element of working tax creidts? Or does either of your employers offer the chilcare voucher scheme which can make childcare more affordable.

Adreamisawish Thu 14-Jul-16 16:56:37

No not all children get 2 year funding, it's usually dependant on certain circumstances but luckily I live in an area that's trialing it for all 2 year olds.

thenewaveragebear1983 Thu 14-Jul-16 17:06:27

I'm on the unpaid weeks of mat leave and won't be returning but will have accrued 7 weeks holiday which I will take at full pay before i officially 'leave' at the end of September. I have saved a few thousand pounds selling baby stuff and from my wages which I am using to live on at the moment, that should last me until I get my pay for my holiday. I reckon it will be xmas until I have literally no money. I am lucky because dh has a well paid job, but it is commission based largely and his actual basic salary isn't phenomenal but is more than average. If the worst was to happen, we would really struggle. We should manage ok for the 3 years I plan to be off, we have 3Dc. Dh will just not save as we currently do. We have already attempted to cut out bills especially for grocery shopping by switching to lidl. As a rule, we are not big spenders, we have no debts except our mortgage and we are careful with our money. I have always bought the majority of our kids clothes and my own on eBay etc, and recently we have just not bought anything non essential (although we have had to buy a washing machine). I'm the same as you as in I work part time but on a very stressful environment, and when we had our 3rd baby I just very clearly spelled out that if I was to return to work then we needed to outsource domestic help, childcare, and he would be needed to do more of the domestic 'admin' which currently I do 100%. For what I earn its not worth it and it's more beneficial that I run the household while he works, as he can earn in two months what I earn in a year if he has a good month and bonus.

junebloom Thu 14-Jul-16 17:14:24

I'm a sahm, I have been since I married DH. I have some unearned income but the bulk of household income is from DH's salary. We don't do joint accounts but we regard all household money as ours. DH's salary goes into his account and he pays the mortgage and bills from there. He transfers a lump sum into my account so I always have a decent amount to spend, it just gets topped up when it runs low. Neither of us keep an eye on each other's spending and we never argue over money. His salary has doubled since we got married - he recognises this is partly because I support him by providing childcare and dealing with the house. We are pretty comfortable and don't watch the pennies.

Adreamisawish Thu 14-Jul-16 17:14:45

Sounds like a similar situation then dh earns much more than me so I can't expect him to cut hours to make things easier. He does his fair share around the house but there's no denying things would be easier for both of us if I was to stay at home.

I'm just concerned how it'll effect my future employment prospects.

baby I had a go at the tax credit calculator but we are over the threshold, my employer doesn't have a voucher scheme, not sure about dhs will get him to look into it.

Thanks for the replies so far, it's helpful to have an insight into how others manage.

thenewaveragebear1983 Thu 14-Jul-16 17:23:40

Well op I have reasoned that, in all fairness, it is pretty much career suicide for me to leave, but also to remain part time. I work in an environment where there are very few tiers in the hierarchy (either you 're a team member or a manager, no middle ground) and it would be impossible to get a management role unless I was working full time. I am pretty scared about returning to work, but I'm well qualified and experienced in my field so I'm not going to give up my only opportunity to stay at home with my kids while they are little. I just have to hope and believe that it will be ok when I go back!

Sunnymeg Thu 14-Jul-16 17:34:03

We have enough money to pay our way, but we are careful and not extravagant. So restaurant meals only when we are on holiday, that sort of thing. Where we have really noticed it, is that the families we know where both parents work, have all moved into larger houses in the last few years , whereas we are comfortable with our mortgage payments, but could not consider moving up the property ladder.

OldKingThistle Thu 14-Jul-16 17:50:34

Just remember you won't be working for nothing, you will have pension contributions, a few years of career progression etc that you won't have if you leave. It can be a really struggle getting back into work, especially if you want a part time role. That's not to say I think you shouldn't do it, just that you shouldn't base the decision on the idea that it's not financially worth it. Think more about what lifestyle you want

Adreamisawish Thu 14-Jul-16 18:05:07

Thanks king, that's the main thing stopping me, I would only want it to be temporary but I know how hard it can be to find a job after a career break.

So much to think about and consider.

Bottomchops Thu 14-Jul-16 18:28:45

Definitely don't use childcare without going through a voucher scheme.

So, you're going back after 6 months? Can you have that extra 6 months at home and see what it's like?

Adreamisawish Thu 14-Jul-16 18:37:06

No I've been off for 9 months, their funding is for the term after they turn 2 and the way their birthday falls means they'll be 2 and a bit.

Will definitely get dh to find out about the voucher scheme, he works for a large company so I'm hoping they offer it.

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