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To be upset that nobody can come with me tomorrow.

(47 Posts)
50shadesofknackered Thu 14-Jul-16 15:02:40

I'm having an endoscopy tomorrow, I called yesterday to book the appointment and was a offered a cancellation for tomorrow so took it as next one is at the end of August. I appreciate it is short notice and it is only to assess for hernia but aibu to be really upset that nobody is coming with me. My dh is under a lot of stress at work and taking the day of could result in a massive black mark against him, my mum has tickets booked for a show in London so is going early tomorrow and my dad is working . I'll have been sedated so can't drive home etc. My dh is dropping me off and my dad is collecting me with my niece who I am looking after for the weekend. I'm just upset that nobody thinks i'm important enough to make the effort for. I'm sure I probably am being unreasonable but if it was the other way around I would be there with them without question. (and have been) I feel really cold towards all of them although I do rationally see the reasons why they can't be there. Aibu to be so upset? I'm pretty nervous about it and I would love someone to be there for me but nobody will be. Someone tell me to get a grip! I feel ridiculous but I can't shake the feeling that nobody gives a shit!

QueenArseClangers Thu 14-Jul-16 15:09:39

Is your niece your sibling's child or your DH? Just wondering if you'll get enough support looking after her this weekend if you're feeling wonky.
You prob are being a tad unreasonable because, as you say, it's short notice so family had other commitments and you are being taken/picked up. You're not BU to be a bit scared and worried about the procedure, that's completely natural.
Hope it goes well tomorrow and you feel looked after. If you want to make yourself feel better have a look at the thread where the OP had to drag her toddler to her transvaginal scan, in pain, cos her bitch of a MIL had shopping plans.

WhereYouLeftIt Thu 14-Jul-16 15:11:10

You're upset about whatever health issue means you have to have an endoscopy, nervous bout the procedure itself, caught on the hop by the short notice so not had time to steel yourself for it,and just all round feeling vulnerable. Maybe you're transferring that upset onto them, because it's easier to deal with that way rather than have swirling nebulous upset that is hard to put into words?

<holds hand>

ChicRock Thu 14-Jul-16 15:12:59

In the nicest possible way, yes YABU. Someone is dropping you off, someone is collecting you, you'll be fine. flowers

ilovesooty Thu 14-Jul-16 15:13:49

Sorry I think you are BU. You're being dropped off and collected so people are making an effort. I don't see why it matters whether anyone is there for the actual procedure.

NavyandWhite Thu 14-Jul-16 15:14:55

It's very short notice!

Surely you understand the reasons your DH, mum and dad can't come?

50shadesofknackered Thu 14-Jul-16 15:14:55

Thank you both. I think you're right in that it's a shock to be having it so quickly although I'll be pleased to get it over with. My niece is my brothers daughter, again i arranged to have her weeks ago. My husband will look after me when I get home and he'll be with me all weekend and she isn't very little so it will be fine. Right... I'm going to woman up!

familyfarm Thu 14-Jul-16 15:15:04

You'll be more than fine. It's just an endoscopy. Only thing is you can't drive back. I would've taken a taxi or bus back on my own and would've been completely fine

Finola1step Thu 14-Jul-16 15:16:05

Yes, it would have been nice but you are being dropped off and collected. I've accompanied mum and dad for endoscopies and it is all straightforward.

But the question is, why are you looking after your dn when afterwards?

Adreamisawish Thu 14-Jul-16 15:16:10

Yanbu, I can totally appreciate why you would want someone there. I've had similar procedures and it's nice to know there's someone waiting for you. flowers

50shadesofknackered Thu 14-Jul-16 15:16:14

I do understand and it's a simple procedure so rationally I know I am being unreasonable. Thanks everyone

Finola1step Thu 14-Jul-16 15:16:43

Opps... Random "when"

BerylMeeps Thu 14-Jul-16 15:18:05

YABU I'm afraid.... All they would be doing anyway is sitting in the waiting room for a few hours. You go in, and you go in alone. You are put in recovery alone. You do not have someone to hold your hand, other than the dr's and nurses.

My husband was in for four hours having a full scope. I'm glad I didn't have to wait about, I went home and picked him up later.

NavyandWhite Thu 14-Jul-16 15:18:08

I think your nerves have overtaken your sensible part of your brain.

Have you had an endoscopy before?

50shadesofknackered Thu 14-Jul-16 15:18:10

Having my niece is a prearranged thing and my dB and his wife have plans. My husband will be there there to help and she's 13 so no trouble really

gamerchick Thu 14-Jul-16 15:19:02

Do you have to have the sedation? I found the thought of one terrifying but the actual thing wasn't that bad. No sedation means you can go home straight away.

ExConstance Thu 14-Jul-16 15:19:34

My DH had an endoscopy and colonoscopy in the same session. Apart from being as high as a kite during the journey home, going on and on about how beautiful everything was he was absoloutley fine. The next day he was completely back to normal. YANBU - just apprehensive about the procedure.

50shadesofknackered Thu 14-Jul-16 15:19:41

Never had one before, I am nervous so I think I've just got carried away. I actually feel better that you all think aibu.

milliemolliemou Thu 14-Jul-16 15:19:51

OK OP: get a grip.
No one can come in with you to the endoscopy anyway. You're being picked up and dropped off. You will be in good hands. While waiting take a good book or something to do and make sure you and DH get the house sorted for your return (water, food, comfy bed). Make sure your hospital notes include any one to contact if you're more than especially affected by anaesthesia. I'd be more worried about looking after your niece (you don't say age) if you're feeling rocky over the weekend.

50shadesofknackered Thu 14-Jul-16 15:20:09

Sorry, that I am being unreasonable.

TopiaryBun Thu 14-Jul-16 15:20:48

Sorry you have to have a procedure. I do think you are being unreasonable, though, presumably from worry? Your DH and DF are dropping you and picking you up. Is it really normal in your circle to have someone drop a trip or a day's work at no notice to stay during a routine medical procedure, or am I misunderstanding you? It's not something I have ever expected, mostly because friends or family, if involved, have had to step in to look after my son.

familyfarm Thu 14-Jul-16 15:20:58

I've had one before, so can tell you you'll be more than fine. Looking after niece shouldn't be an issue either. Best of luck.

NavyandWhite Thu 14-Jul-16 15:21:33

Deep breaths.

You will be fine brew flowers

familyfarm Thu 14-Jul-16 15:22:24

You don't need to apologise OP, you didn't know what to expect!

When I went for an endoscopy, I didn't realise I was going to be sedated, so when I came out I was a bit baffled why I couldn't remember anything. I don't know how I missed that!

gamerchick Thu 14-Jul-16 15:24:27

No you're not being unreasonable, I totally understand where you're coming from the thought of it is scary. I promise it's not as bad as it is in your head.

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