To be stressed to the hills over a surprise holiday

(178 Posts)

MNHQ have commented on this thread.

Alfiemoon1 Thu 14-Jul-16 09:54:34

My sister has paid for us to go to Florida in August as a Christmas present the flights Vila and car hire are all paid for. I am stressed as I am really struggling to save up for park tickets etc which is almost as much as the holiday on top of that I have my son moving to high school his uniform is over £300 bus pass £100 dd is doing duke of ed which is £250 ds trip £155 so this year we probably wouldn't have gone abroad. I am stressed I keep bursting into tears rowing with the hubby who refuses to make any cut backs so we can save money. To top it off my mum and sister are calling me ungrateful as I have mentioned I am worried about the money. Iam not but I am resentful of being put under this stress if she insisted on being elaborate and paying for a holiday why not a cheaper all inclusive instead of something that is going to cost me a fortune or ask me first instead of surprising me in front of the kids so I couldn't say no. Anyway any get rich quick schemes or free things to do in Florida so she hasn't wasted thousands on the flights and villa lol

Alfiemoon1 Thu 14-Jul-16 09:58:11

She also bought my daughter her own horse without consulting me so that's costing me time and money gggrr

LemonBreeland Thu 14-Jul-16 10:01:19

You know you can go to Florida and not go to Disney and other theme parks? There are plenty of other things to do there.

ElsaAintAsColdAsMe Thu 14-Jul-16 10:02:18

I think you need to have a chat with your sister.

She sounds very generous, but thoughtless.

She can't keep buying you gifts that cost you money.

She will probably take offence in the short term, but hopefully it will make her think before buying these things in future.

I also think your husband sounds very selfish indeed.

Hope you get it sorted op.

Nocabbageinmyeye Thu 14-Jul-16 10:03:28

What??? She booked and paid for it without consulting you and presented it as a done deal in front of the kids? And a horse? Yanbu! It's not a good gift if it stresses you out and costs you a fortune!

SolidGoldBrass Thu 14-Jul-16 10:05:39

Your sister is either thoughtless or a bully. She buys expensive presents that will cost you more than you can afford, and expects grovelling gratitude for them. Is it possible to sell or return the holiday tickets and get something more affordable for you and your family?

Mind you, your H sounds like a prick, as well: unfortunately, people who grow up with a bully in the family often marry one, as well, because it feels so 'familier' to be ordered about and have your wishes ignored.

TondelayaDellaVentamiglia Thu 14-Jul-16 10:06:22

sell the horse, use the money for disney.

she sounds like a horror tbh.

NicknameUsed Thu 14-Jul-16 10:06:26

I don't understand how anyone can book holidays abroad without the consent of everyone travelling. At this point your sister will have only paid a deposit. Can't you just tell her you can't afford to go and that all these expensive gifts she keeps buying are costing you a lot of money?

As far as the horse is concerned I would have said at the time that the horse was going back to its previous owner and you wouldn't take any responsibility for its upkeep.

MadameCholetsDirtySecret Thu 14-Jul-16 10:07:14

Florida is a huge state. You don't have to go to Disney. If your villa has a pool - or the community has one - im sure your family will have a lovely time playing there. If you were going to Spain I'm sure a pool would be more than enough.

The thought of theme parks leaves me cold. I'm sure you won't miss them.

sooperdooper Thu 14-Jul-16 10:08:29

sell the horse, use the money for disney

This

Thebookswereherfriends Thu 14-Jul-16 10:08:52

Sell the horse to pay for the holiday bits. Tell your sister that you appreciate the generous thoughts, but you don't have the same income, so could she discuss these things with you first.

Nocabbageinmyeye Thu 14-Jul-16 10:09:52

I'm not sure it's fair to call her husband a prick, maybe he is just sick of his sister in law piling on the financial pressure on them, to the point he is not willing to sacrifice everyday life to please her, is he going? If so does he want to go? Yes he should save for his wife and kids but if this was my in laws/family I would be pissed off too, I don't blame him really, being bullied by your in laws financially would annoy me

gingerboy1912 Thu 14-Jul-16 10:09:58

There's some serious boundary issues that need addressing when you feel up to it. That said you don't have to buy a massive park ticket bundle. When we went we only bought tickets for 5 days that's all we wanted. If you work on the basis of park day, rest day, park day, rest day and then the day you arrive and the day you leave, that's pretty much the whole 2 weeks gone. As long as you have a pool the kids will be ok. And eating out in the Golden Corral buffet diner is very reasonable.

Coconutty Thu 14-Jul-16 10:12:19

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lweji Thu 14-Jul-16 10:16:12

Yes on boundaries.

It's a shit present if it makes you spend more money. Both the horse and the holiday.

You are not ungrateful. She is a crap present giver. Point it out to her.

Personally, I'd go to Florida and avoid the Parks (not keen anyway), or just go for one day. Is it anywhere near a beach or a nice place?

Or just cancel the whole thing. You can say no to the holiday and tell the children you simply can't afford it, as it was in fact only a half present.

And tell her that any other of these presents will be rejected immediately.

Birdsgottafly Thu 14-Jul-16 10:16:50

Is the Christmas present for all of you?

Could your DM 'get' your children park tickets for Christmas?

You'll have to have an honest conversation with them, would they lend you the spends that you need?

As said, is the horse really wanted?

Lweji Thu 14-Jul-16 10:17:33

As for your husband, did she pay for him as well?

Lweji Thu 14-Jul-16 10:18:19

Oh, yes, an alternative is for her to cough up for the park tickets as birthday presents (or next year's Christmas presents) for all of you.

Alfiemoon1 Thu 14-Jul-16 10:18:22

i can't sell the horse as it is in my sisters name until my daughter is 18. She has done it with the best of intentions but she doesn't think. She is the worlds worse with money but at the moment can do overtime at £700 per day so has been extremely generous. Hubby is a prick regarding money he has nothing to do with our finances other than paying his wages in but that's a whole new thread. He has cashed in his share save early to help out he has no problem with this I do as we are missing out on a bonus and shouldn't have been put in this situation by my sister

hownottofuckup Thu 14-Jul-16 10:19:08

Is this for real? confused

CocktailQueen Thu 14-Jul-16 10:19:16

Is your husband helping to pay for D of E stuff,. school stuff and bus pass etc, or is it just the holiday he doesn't want to save for?

Agree that you could just go and laze around the villa and not go to the parks at all - is that an option?

Or sell the horse to pay for the holiday? A horse is an insane present to get someone without consulting them.

flowers

Alfiemoon1 Thu 14-Jul-16 10:19:17

It is this August we go by the way which is why I am panicking

Alfiemoon1 Thu 14-Jul-16 10:20:06

Yes this is for real what makes u think it isn't ?

Lweji Thu 14-Jul-16 10:21:40

Stop feeding the horse. It's in your sister's name, she's responsible for it.
Well, tell her this first.
Or she transfers ownership and you can then sell it.

As for your OH, is he paying for himself but not his children?

Alfiemoon1 Thu 14-Jul-16 10:22:48

Hubby's wages just get paid into the account I sort out the bills etc so yes he is paying for stuff. I am picking up on every little thing he's spending because I am so stressed

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