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How would this make you feel?

(12 Posts)
PossiblyOverSensitive Wed 13-Jul-16 18:52:42

I just went to the loo at work, we work outside so it's an outdoor loo type set up. I work with about 20 people and we are all contractors so know some better than others. I am project manager, I'm senior on the team but not the top boss.

The juniors are all very sweet. Anyway I went to the loo (first day of period- sorry too much information) and when I came out I was greeted by six of the juniors laughing clapping and cheering as I emerged as they'd been betting how long id be in there. I was so embarrassed and shocked I just walked past them and felt bad as they were all smiling and cheering and feel like maybe I should have just laughed along but then I think actually that's a really inappropriate thing to do. What do you think?

fusspot66 Wed 13-Jul-16 18:58:15

I think you call them together and you look your fiercest and you warn them that if you hear of them doing that to anyone ever again it will be a disciplinary matter.
There mus be a 'dignity and respect' type clause in your work protocols. How dare they. I'm angry on your behalf.

WhyShouldYou Wed 13-Jul-16 19:01:16

I think you just lost the respect of your team.

catsilversilk Wed 13-Jul-16 19:02:01

I used to work in a laddy environment and this kind of thing was par for the course. They would probably be mortified if they realised why you'd taken a while, the neanderthal mindset doesn't lend itself to empathy or god forbid an understanding of 'womens stuff' like periods.

In fact if you'd come right out with it and said 'it took a while to change my tampon and clean myself up, what's your problem you fucking idiots?' then they would probably have been silenced. However in their tiny brains they were having a 'poo' joke I imagine.

Just like at school and with the advice we give to our kids - walk away and don't let it get to you! I know it's not PC and may well be flamed but I personally thought showing a bit of grit and a 'fuck you you twats' got me a lot further than crying to mummy/my boss, even though yes - it was wildly inappropriate - bear in mind they would probably do it to each other and find it hilarious. Hope you don't dwell and good luck, what a bunch of tossers! cake

Marthacliffscumbag Wed 13-Jul-16 19:02:01

I'd have gone batshit. That behaviour is for the pub with your mates (even then it's questionable!) not in the workplace, it's highly unprofessional and worthy of a verbal warning.
I'm rather confrontational so after they'd finished clapping I'd have said 'actually, I'm on my period, that's why I was longer than usual, is that ok with you or do you have any other questions about my personal habits'?

PossiblyOverSensitive Wed 13-Jul-16 19:10:03

The thing is I don't think I was even longer than about 2-3 minutes.

whyshouldyou what makes you say that?

PossiblyOverSensitive Wed 13-Jul-16 19:13:06

And they're not all blokes it's about a 50/50 split.

Cabrinha Wed 13-Jul-16 19:20:12

I'd be more offended if I were a junior at being called "very sweet" (patronising, much?) than I would be by being on the receiving end of this kind of silly humour. But it should be stopped as it could make people uncomfortable.

Tomorrow I'd call them together and say "right - I'm off to the loo so place your bets now... but look, seriously you lot - it was funny yesterday but it could make someone else embarrassed, so not again - OK?"

BikeRunSki Wed 13-Jul-16 19:24:55

I work in a very similar set up, in the same type of role. I could not conceive of that happening on any of my sites. We'd be having s very stern toot box talk about Respect at Work of it happened. I'd also make a note of time, date and perpetrators, with a view to following it up with HR if it happened again.

OurBlanche Wed 13-Jul-16 19:31:40

Yup! You need to do a Toolbox Talk about Respect and Dignity at Work...

If you email them in the morning for an afternon meeting they will spend all day worrying about it... sad youe schedule can't be changed to accommodate and earlier meeting!

DH did one of these last year. Several of the rigging crew thought it was funny to do something similar to a female engineer. He emailed them on Wednesday afternnon for a Thursday afternoon Toolbox Talk... mandatory, no excuses. Then read them the riot act. They were gobsmacked, embarrassed "What if that had been your daughter?" made one of them suddenly need to sit down!

Just remember: the embarrassment is not yours. They are the ones who exhibited very poor judgement and a sheep like behaviour, pack mentality! Break them of that bad habit now...

coffeetasteslikeshit Wed 13-Jul-16 19:34:59

How would it make me feel? I don't think it would make me feel much if I liked them already. I'd probably have given them a wry smile combined with an eyeroll, perhaps with a 'fuck off!' thrown in if I knew them well enough.
If I didn't like them then it would probably make me feel either pissed off or angry.

marblestatue Wed 13-Jul-16 20:57:05

Give them a telling off and say this kind of thing must not happen again or there will be disciplinary action.

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