To have just laughed down the phone at this woman?

[ClaudiaWankleman]

Phone rings. I pick up. Long wait as I am connected to the poor person at the end of the long line to (I assume) somewhere in Asia. I sigh.

Hello, is that Claudia?
Yes. Who is calling?
Hello. How are you today?
Fine thanks. Who is calling?
I am calling about nuisance marketing phone calls.
Right.
Records show that you have been receiving nuisance marketing phone calls. For a small fee we can block these calls from your phone.
Do you mean calls like this?
No, I mean marketing calls.
Like this one then? Cue hyena laughter

I didn't hear the rest of what was said, I hung up after a good long laugh and went back to watching Judge Judy. You can't pee on my leg and tell me it's raining.

I will be cheery all day now.

[AnthonyPandy]

Ha ha ha!

[MadameJosephine]

That's hilarious

[WorraLiberty]

That really irritates me when they ask how I am.

I refuse to answer it and just repeat "Why are you calling me?" before telling them I'm registered with TPS and asking them to remove my number from their database (which they probably never do).

[HidingUnderARock]

Hilarious.
Or would be if it wasn't (probably) true.
Oh I just can't wait till they phone us

[TroysMammy]

Worra if you are registered with TPS obtain as much info as possible, company name, number, time of call and report them. I do it's very satisfying.

[EverythingWillBeFine]

I've had that one too....

Now I'm just refusing the answer the phone during day time. If ot's important, people will leave me a message (or more likely ring the mobile)

[ClaudiaWankleman]

I actually feel quite sorry for the caller now. It must be really disheartening to have people laugh at you all day.

But the bloody irony. Who wrote that script? Who came up with this business idea and didn't see the obvious flaw

[toadgirl]

Your story make me laugh, OP.

Call Guardian is a brilliant way to block these calls for the future.

[MyotherkidscalledKai]

I've had that call OP and I had pretty much the same reaction as you.

Though the best was a door-to-door sales person from Everest who knocked my door to sell me windows whilst there were about four blokes busily fitting new windows and doors in my house. Despite seeing these blokes, seeing the van and clearly being aware that I didn't need more new windows he then proceeded to do the sales pitch at me .

[Stillunexpected]

MIL not only got one of those calls but actually agreed to pay the £89 or whatever to block them! Then she changed her mind about which card she wished to use AFTER she had given them the details so read out the details of a second one as well. DH was apoplectic. Managed to get it cancelled thankfully. That was the end of a long list of near misses with her, despite us trying to explain that new kitchen worktops, driveway repaving, orthopaedic beds etc were all scams of one kind or another.

[ClaudiaWankleman]

£89?!

[Sparklesilverglitter]

can't pee on my leg and tell me it's raining

OP I like you

[Stillunexpected]

ClaudiaWankleman - might have been £84 - either way a complete con!

[GabsAlot]

lol like the peeing analogy

u should have played ironic by alanis morrissette down the phone

[Oldraver]

Yes I have had these...I've also had marketing calls from BT and they said "but we're allowed to phone you" when I pointed out they were as bad al unsolicited calls

[Buddahbelly]

I hate these scams, when my step mum died I was so worried for my dad because he is a salesmans dream, it was my mum who could always see sense.

True to form he told me of a man one day that had rung up later evening to tell my dad he had been out to look at his house and recommended he needed new facia boards... queue my dad paying £250 over the phone, then realising what hed done a few days later and cancelling the policy. Not surprisingly the company refused to give him a refund and my dad just brushed it off. I was furious with him that he could be so easily taken in.

I thought he was finally learning but yesterday he turns up to tell me his fridge has broken down, but not to worry hes already ordered one online, It came with a free fridge check every year that only cost £11 a month so basically somebody comes out once a year and cleans the sills of his fridge.

[hareinthemoon]

Myother that is hilarious - though actually I find most internet ads like this - if I've just bought a fridge I'm unlikely to buy another one, so why are ads for them popping up in my sidebar? Logic gap, laughable.

[GeezAJammyPeece]

Lol

I have yet to receive this one, I look forward to it 😜

I have been fielding regular calls about my car accident for the past few weeks.
I'm away from home so am answering any calls with our area code in case it's kids/OH/work - turns out its just the same call centre using a variety of lines.

So far the compensation I have been offered has risen from £1500 to £2750. wondering if I should hold out to see how high they'll go
Of course, they can't tell me any details of my supposed RTA, but can confirm I was a passenger in a car with 3 people, sometime between 2014 & 2016, and it was in the local area.

All I can say is; it must have been really bad, because I don't even remember having it

[Kungfupandaworksout16]

I love the judge judy quote you used at the end. My favourite is when They say I'm due a refund/insurance blah blah, I simply say I'm under age I like to say 14 you can hear them curse and then they hang up. Can't try and sell to an underage R can you

[WorraLiberty]

I thought it was 'don't piss on my back and tell me it's raining'?

The back being because you can't see what they're really doing?

[Modestandatinybitsexy]

I had this exact call! I had only just registered with TPS and when I told him this he insisted I should also pay for this service as TPS is calls from the UK only and this service was international.

The conversation was so convoluted:

"I've registered with TPS, I'll wait and see if that stops my calls"
"TPS is only UK, ours covers all countries"
"But I'd have to pay for this and TPS is free, I'll wait and see if that stops my calls"
"It won't stop all your calls, only the ones from the UK"
"I UNDERSTAND THAT BUT I DO NOT WISH TO PAY FOR A SERVICE I DO NOT CURRENTLY REQUIRE"
"You might require it if your calls are coming from outside the UK"

ad nauseam

[doodlejump1980]

My line to these callers is "Can I talk to you about Jesus?" With a really sincere tone and head-tilt thrown in for good measure! 😁

[Kwirrell]

I laughed (involuntarily) at the woman from t.v licensing. They had been told twice that my stepdad had died, but still sent a letter about non payment.

I telephoned them and she said she was sorry, but then added,
"If circumstances change will you let us know"

I said, "do you mean like a resurrection?

[GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER]

Probably hoping for some old dear with early dementia, who'd say yes, and then forget, so they could repeat ad lib. And very likely sell their details on to a 'suckers' list'...

I get v few sales calls now, but do always try to say no thanks nicely. A dd once had a holiday job in telesales - not that she lasted very long - as she said, it's not much fun being told to fuck off all day long.

[hareinthemoon]

Kwirrell I just spat my tea out!