All about money

(18 Posts)
onehippoallalone Tue 12-Jul-16 18:19:32

Have discovered my dd (immature 11) has used all her savings (>£100) on cakes and biscuits at break at school this past year. Has lunch card (year 7) on which I have carefully put money and explained need for budgetting and that its not appropriate to have big sugary treats each day. Thought she had got that and the budgetting but now it transpires that in addition to my paltry offerings she has been buying in a day eg Sprite, flapjack and 2 brownies/ cookies. Hurrah that not put on much weight! Am I cross with her/ sad that she wanted the food / cross with myself for letting her have access to the cash? All her saved bday presents etc has gone.

Snowflakes1122 Tue 12-Jul-16 18:23:21

Hopefully she will have learned her lesson if it was meant to be for her birthday etc.

I probably would have some similar at that age, as I had no concept of the value of money. This is an important thing for her to learn though.

Snowflakes1122 Tue 12-Jul-16 18:23:51

Done, not some!

Lilaclily Tue 12-Jul-16 18:25:48

Well I guess it's her money, is she sad she's wasted it?

tibbawyrots Tue 12-Jul-16 18:29:46

Did she eat them herself or was she buying them for someone else?
Not that it makes it right of course but it could be she's being bullied or trying to buy friendship with someone popular?

Something to consider. Hopefully it's not either of those 🙂

OhTheRoses Tue 12-Jul-16 18:37:02

I'm not convinced £100 on treats over a school year is massive to be honest. It's £33 a term. Less than £3 a week. I always gave dd a pound a day. Up to her if she spent it or saved it.

catlovingdoctor Tue 12-Jul-16 18:40:55

What else did you imagine an eleven year old was going to do with access to £100?

onehippoallalone Tue 12-Jul-16 18:44:54

Thanks all. I asked if anyone made her - she said just for her!! I think that that amount of food at break even 3 times a week is unhealthy. Apparently her classmates are starting to think about diets (which I hate) so trying to be very level headed and not shouting at waste of money or over eating.

She wasn't sad abt money so am focussing on value of money issues with her. I want to give her an allowance to try to reinforce (a monthly amount for eg stationery and treats - hot choc on way home etc. Not clothes yet so not huge amounts). DH says if she cldnt be trusted with bday money, why give her more? Not sure I agree or she will never learn - any thoughts?

onehippoallalone Tue 12-Jul-16 18:46:43

catlovingdoctor - I understand - but DS is a saver so not all kids are same. Clearly I am guilty of not having protected the cash for her.

Arfarfanarf Tue 12-Jul-16 18:48:18

she'll never learn to budget if she isn't given the chance. Yes, she'll screw up and spend money on rubbish but she'll learn that she goes without if she does that.

Perhaps the list of things her money is responsible for should include some things she loves so that if she blows the money - she goes without for example, phone credit or has to take a sandwich to school instead of having school dinner, or has to walk to school.
That's how you learn best imo. By feeling the consequences of your choices and learning to make different ones.

SquinkiesRule Tue 12-Jul-16 18:48:47

My 11 year old spent the entire contents of her money box on the same, over two weeks it was £20 not a hundred, and she's Y6 We had the big sit down talk about saving and wasting money and not eating rubbish. She has a packed lunch and Dh said food was coming home so something was up, she usually eats everything he packs.
She seems to have calmed down about it, and is back to eating her packed lunch.
I'm sure your Dd is upset she has wasted her whole £100 but I'd tell her Oh well tough for you, you have no money left for the things you wanted to buy, Then leave her to it. She spent it and it doesn't get replaced.

FruitCider Tue 12-Jul-16 18:49:31

If she can buy that amount of food 3 times a week for less than £1 a time I'm impressed with her bartering skills! On a serious note, if she's not overweight and it was her savings I'm not sure what the problem is?

callherwillow Tue 12-Jul-16 18:49:44

She won't learn money's value if you control it smile

Babyroobs Tue 12-Jul-16 18:52:37

My 11 year old dd would do the same if she had the chance to buy this kind of stuff at school. She has possibly spent all her birthday money on sweets and chocolate although she does share it with her friends. My ds (16yr) earns in excess of £250 a month from his part time job and a lot of that gets spent on mc Donalds, litre bottles of Lucozade, microwaveable burgers, pre packed andwiches etc etc. I have tried to talk to him about budgeting/ healthy eating etc but it doesn't sink in. It is really hard to dictate what they should or shouldn't be spending money on when it is their own money. Fortunately neither are overweight but I can really understand how tough it is for parents of overweight teenagers when there is so much temptation of cheap sugary rubbish around.

CakeNinja Tue 12-Jul-16 18:55:03

Personally it's not something I could get upset over.
My dd had some birthday money left over that she had drawn out of the bank and then not used (around £40) and I imagine it's gone a similar way.
It's her money.
I provide her with a sensible balanced diet at home and She eats well, has always loved fruit and veg. I myself ate far worse than she did at her age. I didn't eat breakfast, made my own packed lunch of 2 chocolate bars and a packet of crisps from the shop on my way to school, some midget gems stuffed in my pocket for break and then more crap on the way home.

I want to say relax, it's no big deal, but obviously a healthy diet is important and to say it isn't would be a lie.

onehippoallalone Tue 12-Jul-16 19:09:59

All thank you for balanced and sensible responses - interesting diff perspectives but always god t know that our traumas have all been seen / done before.

eyebrowsonfleek Tue 12-Jul-16 19:13:19

Ds1 went insane with the freedom to buy energy drinks in y7. He's wisened up about the price being a rip off and the ingredients being suspect- especially after an energy drink addicted teen died from a heart attack. (Not sure if energy drink consumption caused the death but the child was drinking litres a day)

As a teen on a budget he opts for fizzy flavoured water as it's cheaper than Coke and tastier than water.

eyebrowsonfleek Tue 12-Jul-16 19:15:47

Ds1 has hardly any self control but has learned to exercise it with regards to fizzy drinks.
Would your dd kick herself if she knew what she could have bought instead?

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