WIBU to ask ex to pay half towards DC hobbies?

(8 Posts)
JellyAnyDots Tue 12-Jul-16 15:15:20

Share residency 50:50 with ex but ex's job and social life means DCs are often here more than they are there.

No maintenance paid in either direction although ex still claims CB but I let that slide.

Because DCs are here more often and because ex doesn't bother with things like after school activities when they're there, all their clubs and hobbies are arranged for days when they're here. At the DC request, I might add.

Given the above, WIBU to ask that ex pays half towards subs, equipment, etc?

trevortrevorslatterfry Tue 12-Jul-16 15:19:35

YWNBU at all.

My DP has 2 DC and pays 50% of "extra" hobby things over and above his maintenance payment. Seems fair to me.

JellyAnyDots Tue 12-Jul-16 15:25:09

I have been presented with the argument that, since the hobbies happen during the time here and ex was not consulted before said hobbies were agreed to, ex shouldn't have to pay anything.

Pinkheart5915 Tue 12-Jul-16 15:29:31

Not unreasonable to ask at all.

50/50 paying for hobbies is fair. They are his children too.

Toffeelatteplease Tue 12-Jul-16 15:41:54

Tbh if they are organised by you in your residence time I'd expect you to be responsible for them financially ( unless you had asked beforehand and agreed to split costs before the commitment was made).

By all means ask but committing the other parent to a cost they may or may or agree with or be able to afford really isn't great practice.

Fourormore Tue 12-Jul-16 15:45:41

Not unreasonable to ask but definitely unreasonable to sign the children up without consulting the other parent and then expect them to cover half.

JellyAnyDots Tue 12-Jul-16 15:47:49

I can't tell if my judgement is being skewed by massive list of previous financial inequalities.

For eg ex is going on three foreign holidays this year (as per the previous year, and the year before that) but is not taking DC on those, or any other holidays. And never has done.

We are having a week's break in the UK with DC.

Not sure if I'm losing perspective over things like who pays for hobbies.

notinagreatplace Tue 12-Jul-16 15:49:19

I think it depends on whether you’ve discussed the activities and the costs with your ex before committing to them, I don’t think you should ask him for money after you’ve made a decision on your own that they are beneficial and affordable. I think, also, I’d consider whether other costs are being fully shared – e.g. if he’s paying for more of other costs, I wouldn’t worry about this one but if, actually, it’s part of a pattern where you pick up more costs than others, I would feel differently.

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