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to be a bit sad about this thing my colleague did?

(114 Posts)
Nabootique Tue 12-Jul-16 13:31:35

Colleague has just been on holiday and got back to the office today. She gave each member of the team aside from two she doesn't actually speak to (no bad blood, I don't think, they're just very quiet and keep to themselves) a small gift except me. She and I do talk and have had shopping trips at lunch together, etc. I also did her a favour before she went away that she asked me to do (something I have done a couple of times for her before).

I am not entitled. I don't expect a present, obviously, and she is allowed to do as she likes, but it felt like I was left out in a very pointed way. AIBU to be a bit hurt? She does have some form for this sort of behaviour.

Nabootique Tue 12-Jul-16 13:32:22

I felt bad for the other two as well. It was a very small gift, so I don't think it would have been a cost issue.

cosmicglittergirl Tue 12-Jul-16 13:32:32

It's a bit weird, but I wouldn't worry about it. Unless you're going to loudly ask where yours is.

kelda Tue 12-Jul-16 13:33:23

YANBU. Very odd anyway to bring back tat from holidays to give to colleagues.

Floggingmolly Tue 12-Jul-16 13:33:35

Did she dole them out in front of everybody?

ArmySal Tue 12-Jul-16 13:34:38

Seems mean to me.

Dolphinsanddinosaurs Tue 12-Jul-16 13:35:26

YANBU. She sounds very rude.

Nabootique Tue 12-Jul-16 13:35:59

She left them on desks.

Laiste Tue 12-Jul-16 13:38:02

Could yours have got knocked off the desk or picked up by someone else?

Nabootique Tue 12-Jul-16 13:39:59

I don't think so Laiste. Desks are very separate, if you see what I mean. There's no confusion about whose is whose or anything, and no one is in the office that early. She was second person in. I was fourth.

Topseyt Tue 12-Jul-16 13:42:57

Odd behaviour.

I must say that it wouldn't occur to me to get gifts to dole out at work at all. I only get the occasional one for very close family if I have been away without them. Where do you draw the line otherwise?

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Tue 12-Jul-16 13:47:40

How big is the team, she had to draw a line somewhere. She shot herself in the foot though. You might say no next time she asks you for a favour.

Floggingmolly Tue 12-Jul-16 13:48:30

It is rude. You don't make public differences between people like that, it's very immature.

PerspicaciaTick Tue 12-Jul-16 13:54:17

How odd - the most anyone I've worked with has bought is a communal box of Turkish Delight.

RepentAtLeisure Tue 12-Jul-16 13:54:29

Just remember it next time she asks you for a favour.

Nabootique Tue 12-Jul-16 13:55:43

I know what you mean, Topseyt, but I suppose it's like work-friend relationships? But I thought I was one too! I wouldn't ever give gifts to someone I only spoke to about work myself, and she didn't either, but she and I definitely talk about non-work. In fact, she's just been over at my desk asking about different personal things.

She bought for 6 people, so two thirds of the team, which I suppose doesn't sound too bad, really, but it's the exclusion of someone who she is friendly with that I find so odd.

I'm too nice to do that Donkeys grin It is a fiddly favour though, and I give up my lunch hour to do it when I do.

diddl Tue 12-Jul-16 13:58:39

"I'm too nice to do that Donkeys grin It is a fiddly favour though, and I give up my lunch hour to do it when I do."

There's being nice & being used!

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost Tue 12-Jul-16 13:58:40

fair enough. You can't go around everyone, but to blatantly give to others in a small group and leave one person standing there
I wouldn't be pleased either.
If it were a child doing that we' calling it exclusion, but you can hardly go to HR or call ACAS saying "Boo hoo hoo, she got e everyone a present exept me.. Some people are just exclusive clique shits. I'm afraid. They're like cockroaches. There's no eradicating them.
Anyway what ever the gift was. I don't suppose you're short of it. Let her stick it where the sun doesn't shine, sideways

Meemolly Tue 12-Jul-16 13:59:59

That is not ok. Just like Floggingmolly said, I think if you're going to do for some, do for everyone, or just leave it. I would have felt hurt by that, but also then stubbornly keen not to show anyone that it upset me. Have a gift from us insead!!!

Dutchcourage Tue 12-Jul-16 14:00:30

Well the next time she asks you for a favour - say fuck you that you are very busy .

amusedbush Tue 12-Jul-16 14:01:08

I'm very close to my colleagues and we always bring back something silly from holidays - a bottle opener or a magnet - but there are only four of us in the office. It would be like bringing something back for two but not the third. Strange and rude.

feetlikeahobbit Tue 12-Jul-16 14:01:32

Maybe she has a bigger better gift to give you later?

Joolsy Tue 12-Jul-16 14:02:27

Personally I would say something. I'd probably say it in a fairly lighthearted way like "just wondered if there was some reason why I was left out of the gifts?" And I wouldn't do the favour for her again unless there was a good reason

Oldraver Tue 12-Jul-16 14:02:47

What was the gift ? you may of dodged a bullet -tatt-

ParadiseCity Tue 12-Jul-16 14:04:49

Maybe the others had given her a gift from their last holiday and she was reciprocating? As it does sound a bit random.

My colleague buys me tat from her holidays and whilst I know it is a lovely thought there are only so many key rings you can use...

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