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to never want to speak to BIL again

(195 Posts)
Awkwardas Tue 12-Jul-16 06:19:21

Sisters been married to him for 20 years we've known him For 26 yrs. He's always been a bit funny sometimes fine other times not so, I think he looks down his nose at us. No reason, he's a plumber his dad a dustbin man. Anyway him sis & family booked a holiday so me & my mum decided to surprise them for the last week as its my nieces birthday. We turn up in the second week & bil is clearly.pissed off! We felt very awkward but luckily were in different hotels. We went to see them on our second say & bil completely ignored us, we've known him 26 years & he just blanks us! I now appreciate he wanted family time & we shouldn't have come but I'm utterly pissed off that he thinks its acceptable to ignore us. Would I be wrong to never speak to him again?

Waffles80 Tue 12-Jul-16 06:25:43

I'd be ignoring you, too.

mnistooaddictive Tue 12-Jul-16 06:25:51

You crashed his holiday, he probably can't speak without telling you how angry he is. You are in the wrong, not him.

BagPusscatnip Tue 12-Jul-16 06:26:47


splendide Tue 12-Jul-16 06:27:49

He sounds a bit rude but I'd be raging if DHs mum and sister (or mine actually!) did this. What on earth were you thinking?

Dani240 Tue 12-Jul-16 06:29:21

You've already said that you know he doesn't like you that much. How would you feel if someone you didn't like 'surprised' you and showed up on your family holiday?

CrazyDuchess Tue 12-Jul-16 06:30:21

I think he would be well within his right never to speak to you again!

What the hell was you thinking to crash his holiday???

OnionKnight Tue 12-Jul-16 06:30:59

You basically crashed his holiday, if I were him I'd be ignoring you too.

Actually no I wouldn't, I'd ask you what the fuck you thought you were doing.

CinderellaRockefeller Tue 12-Jul-16 06:32:14

Had you arranged it with your sister or was it a surprise to her too?

branofthemist Tue 12-Jul-16 06:32:26

Jesus Christ! If my sil and mil turned up as a surprise on our holiday I would be fuming too.

I can imagine you won't need to speak to him again, as he wont be coming near you.

Finola1step Tue 12-Jul-16 06:34:17

You crashed their holiday! I bet he was keeping his mouth shut because he was trying not to go ballistic.

GruffaloPants Tue 12-Jul-16 06:35:53

I think you'll make his year if you decide not to speak to him. Maybe you should have decided that while you ruined his holiday.

FairNotFair Tue 12-Jul-16 06:37:35


Mia1415 Tue 12-Jul-16 06:38:34

I'd be fuming if someone surprised me on my holiday!!! Did your sister know?

SarahM24 Tue 12-Jul-16 06:39:11

I think it was very childish to ignore you, I take it you wanted it to be a nice surprise? Did you bring gifts etc? If so then he needs to get a grip really.

Never speak to them again? Very over dramatic!

Did your sister know the plan?

KittyLaRoux Tue 12-Jul-16 06:39:41

You thought it was acceptable to crash his family holiday hmm

Apologise, explain you had good intensions but you should have asked first.

LumpySpacedPrincess Tue 12-Jul-16 06:41:53

This didn't actually happen did it op.

Biscuitbrixit Tue 12-Jul-16 06:41:54

I'd be so pissed off if I was on holiday with dh & dc, and the pil suprised us with coming along! Ffs! Very selfish!

WalkingZed Tue 12-Jul-16 06:42:10

Maybe it's because he's a plumber and dad a dustbin man?


abitwrong123 Tue 12-Jul-16 06:43:01

I wouldnt worry about it, he probably never wants to speak to you again either! grin

cuntinghomicidalcardigan Tue 12-Jul-16 06:43:10

If I were him I'd be upset at having my family holiday crashed. I appreciate you did it with the best intentions but maybe he is actually trying to be diplomatic and not say something he'll regret?

Keep out of there way, maybe suggest meeting your sister and niece for lunch at a restaurant one day and apologise to your bil.

OnionKnight Tue 12-Jul-16 06:43:21

Even if the OP took gifts with her he does not need to get a grip, she crashed his holiday! Whether she took gifts or not it doesn't make a blind bit of difference.

amithatmum Tue 12-Jul-16 06:47:04

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ememem84 Tue 12-Jul-16 06:49:27

Agree. If mil suprised us on our holiday I'd be on the first flight home.

This is a fairly real threat for our summer holiday. Ive told Dh that this is what will happen if she turns up. He says there's no way she will. Other people (his aunts/her mates) have said how nice we are to let her come with us.

DoreenLethal Tue 12-Jul-16 06:52:28

Anyway him sis & family booked a holiday so me & my mum decided to surprise them for the last week as its my nieces birthday.

I think you both need to wind your necks in. Has he had 26 years of this? I feel for him to be honest. Just let them have a holiday away from the normal day to day bollocks will you.

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