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AIBU?

To want my DH to go to A&E?

251 replies

Brokenbiscuit · 11/07/2016 23:39

DH has had weird nervy pains in one side of his head for the last 3-4 days. Today, the pain was quite severe so he decided to go to the local walk-in centre this evening.

They saw him and advised him to go to A&E in our nearest city (around 15 miles from home). The triage report that the nurse gave him to give to A&E said "urgent" and mentioned red flags. It also said "seriously ill but stable".

DH does not drive and the nurse told him he shouldn't in any case. I can't take him to A&E because dd is in bed and we don't have anyone who could babysit tonight. DH would either have to take a taxi or ask a friend.

He doesn't want to go, "because it's late" and he says he'll go tomorrow. He probably doesn't want to put anyone out this late, and he would hate "wasting" money on a taxi. He is also telling me that the pain is better, but not sure if I believe him.

AIBU to think he should take a taxi and go tonight, as advised by the nurse? Or is it reasonable for him to decide that he feels well enough to wait until the morning? He tells me that he knows his own body and he is ok, but then, what were those "red flags" all about?

I can't force him to go, can I? Sad

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EsmeraldaEllaBella · 11/07/2016 23:42

Errr yes, you can force him. Wake up DD or call a taxi, now

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Haggisfish · 11/07/2016 23:42

Yanbu!! If they describe you as seriously ill you take them seriously IMO!!

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ohnoppp · 11/07/2016 23:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ClassicMonkey · 11/07/2016 23:43

Is there no way you can take DD? I'm sure you'd rather a grumpy child than there being something serious wrong with DH that could have been treated sooner?
You can't make him go but I'd definitely be taking him

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PointlessUsername · 11/07/2016 23:43

He definitely should go.

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mymatemax · 11/07/2016 23:44

You put you Dec in the car & drive him to hospital. It won't hurt doc to be disturbed but it may harm dh to delay treatment

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Cocacolaandchocolate · 11/07/2016 23:44

Put DD in car and go. Hope your OH gets medical care he needs soon

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mymatemax · 11/07/2016 23:44

That's meant to be dc

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ConfuciousSayWhat · 11/07/2016 23:45

Take him. Wake the dc and take them with you. Some things cannot be fucked around with.

He may be OK and just have a migraine or cluster headache but do you want to take the chance based on what the assessing medic has said?

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MakeLemonade · 11/07/2016 23:45

I think put DD in the car and drive him. She might even stay asleep. Doesn't sound like he should wait.

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Redorwhitejusthaveboth · 11/07/2016 23:45

Id actually call an ambulance with a triage report like that ( and I'm a nurse )

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Brokenbiscuit · 11/07/2016 23:46

Really don't want to wake dd because she has been ill herself and she's absolutely exhausted.

Perhaps I should call a taxi. DH is getting really cross with me for not letting it drop.

He asked me if he looks seriously ill. I must admit, he doesn't. He walked to and from the walk- in centre, ate a normal dinner, and seems normal otherwise. He says they are just covering their own backs.

But I'm worried about those red flags.

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Doinmummy · 11/07/2016 23:46

I work in emergency dept in a hospital . Stick him in a taxi . Better 'waste' a few quid and get it sorted than leave it until it possibly gets worse .

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gunting · 11/07/2016 23:46

Errr.... Get him to A+E

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ConfuciousSayWhat · 11/07/2016 23:47

Either get him a taxi or an ambulance if you can't drive

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MyNameIsAlexDrake · 11/07/2016 23:47

Definitely DD in car and all go.

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Brokenbiscuit · 11/07/2016 23:48

Id actually call an ambulance with a triage report like that ( and I'm a nurse )

Oh gosh, really? He keeps telling me that he feels better and I should stop fussing.Confused

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PinkyofPie · 11/07/2016 23:48

Wake your DD up and take him, it's just one night.

My H years ago had an accident playing football, one of the other lads fell onto him and somehow managed to bite his hand. He refused for 48 hours to go to A&E, despite it being twice his size, as he just put it down to being a bit swollen and didn't think they could do anything. After I practically dragged him there it turns out he had an infection from the other blokes mouth. Humans aren't equipped to deal with human 'bites', as we don't tend to bite each other, so his body reacted badly and had it been another day he'd have possibly lost his hand. It took a big operation and a heavy dose of antibiotics and physio to get him well again. It's surprising what you think is a minor thing can turn into. My point is, take him now!

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Doinmummy · 11/07/2016 23:48

Show him this

Dear Mr Brokenbiscuit

Get your arse to A & E please . Better safe than sorry .

Kind regards
Doinmummy

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Redorwhitejusthaveboth · 11/07/2016 23:49

Yes really

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ConfuciousSayWhat · 11/07/2016 23:49

My husband is a "don't bother the doctor" type and nearly died as a result the twat (my dh not yours)

Get off here and sort your husband out

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GlitteryFluff · 11/07/2016 23:51

Wake dd up and go.
Worst case she's grumpy / takes a while to get back to sleep / whatever. But DH will be seen to.

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OrlandaFuriosa · 11/07/2016 23:52

Fgs, get him there. Don't mess with that area. Something really quite nasty could happen in the middle of the night. If I were a friend I'd drive him. They'll want to do various tests, and need to keep him somewhere where he can be looked after quickly if needs be.

I've had friends and relatives with strokes, brain bleeds , my own stuff etc. if it is just a migraine, great, but seriously don't mess.

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EveOnline2016 · 11/07/2016 23:53

Wake dd and get him to the hospital.

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IrregularCommentary · 11/07/2016 23:54

No way would I let him wait until morning. Take dd with you - not ideal but she'll cope. You don't get advice like that for no reason, don't risk it, you'd never forgive yourself if it turned out later that tonight v tomorrow would have made a difference to his health.

Hope all is ok when he's properly checked out.

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