SENCO has dismissed my complaint, as "it was a genuine misunderstanding"...

[PartyPopper2009]

I have changed my username, as this would out me, with my other info.

This school has been really good, I have to say. However, very recently I have let something go, so this is even more frustrating.

DD is 10 years old, in Year 5. She has Perthes' Disease... She has a Care Plan. She frequently uses crutches, but if things get bad, she does use her wheelchair. The TA helps her get around school, etc.

The TA has changed a couple of times this year, but that hasn't exactly affected her. However, DD uses the disabled toilets, unless she isn't using any support (very strict plan has been put in about this) if she is using her crutches, staff member waits outside the door. If she is using her wheelchair, staff member comes in, supports her to whatever position, or any other help she needs, then leaves (if using the disabled toilet, in building 1, that has restricted access, as there will absolutely be no way for anyone to be outside). If using the disabled toilet, in building 2, she stays in the toilet with her, as she wouldn't be allowed to open the door mid-way (privacy reasons) but obviously turns around and faces the door. DD needs no help with that part of the process, it is literally just an arm to hold while she gets out of the wheelchair.

This TA has yet to be with her in the second building, so already messed up by opening the door mid-way. DD literally screeched at her, so she quickly closes the door. DD then reminds her (she really shouldn't have to) and the TA then stands there, without turning around. DD asked, she said she can't due to her safety and that was written in the plan, erm, no it isn't... DD was beginning to get upset, as she's sitting there desperate for a wee, while some TA is just staring at her.

TA keeps saying that she has to follow the care plan as it's their for DD's benefit. Anyway, TA doesn't turn around. DD feels shit. I'm fucked off. I go in at the end of the school day, TA says she's sorry, she genuinely thought that was in her care plan. I speak to SENCO, she says it was a genuine accident as the TA hasn't been familiar with the second building rules, so wasn't sure.

I'm sorry but it isn't good enough, is it? My DD is 10, she didn't need to go through that. I think it has seriously knocked her confidence, and rightly so. I'm sorry, as there's probably nothing I can do, but I just wanted to get it out of my system.

[chickenowner]

The TA and the SENCo have apologized, what else do you think should happen?

[user1467101855]

She's said she is sorry and that she genuinely thought that was what she was supposed do. I'm not sure what more you want to happen?

[LouSavage]

What would be good enough? I don't mean that in a rude goady way. I'm just thinking what could they do to make you feel enough has been done and go from there.

[ScrewyMcScrewup]

It does sound like a mistake, perhaps with an over-zealous new TA. Have they put something in place to make sure any new staff understand the plan in future, understanding that you can never protect against human error? If so, I think you need to let it go and work on building DD's confidence back up.

[PartyPopper2009]

Nothing, I don't want anything to happen, I said that at the end. I'm just annoyed that her plan wasn't made more aware. I'm not sure how many of you have DC with care plans? But it really is very important for them to be followed, that's all.

[Newes]

It is. Has the TA apologised to your DD personally? She is 10, an aspect of her Care Plan wasn't followed correctly and she deserves to be told that by the member of staff.

[user1467101855]

But you said their response isn't good enough, so you must want something more. Which is what?

It is important that they are followed, which the person genuinely thought they were doing. People make mistakes.

[Newes]

Also, any Personal Care Plan should be separate from an individual Care Plan and should state that staff should be very aware of causing any distress to a child and that toileting/cleaning attempts must cease if the child exhibits signs of distress, which screeching in surprise when someone opens the door is an example of.

[PeppasNanna]

I would expect that every TA would/should be well versed in every aspect of your dd's care.

Is it an EHCplan your dd has?
If shes an AR coming up, I would make sure it was brought up so its 'officially' recorded.

[PhloppysFonics]

What is your AIBU?

That you're annoyed?

[randomer]

lots of TA's...lack of consistency maybe?

[PotteringAlong]

It is good enough. It was a genuine error.

If you don't think it is good enough, what do you want to happen to make it good enough?

[PotteringAlong]

Also, the Senco hasn't dismissed your complaint. They have acknowldged it, aplologised and explained why it happened.

[acasualobserver]

Fuck me, this is a turn up for the books. Usually disgruntled parents are exhorted to complain immediately to Offstead (sic).

[MollyTwo]

Ok they have made a mistake, apologised but now what more do you want?

[Somerville]

The OP is using AIBU to have a bit of a rant, as plenty of other people do. Calling her out for not stating an actual AIBU question is a bit necessary.

OP, an apology is not enough, you are right. The SENCO needs to work out why a TA was assigned to your daughter who wasn't fully aware of every aspect of the care plan and decide, based on that, what procedure is put in place when her TA is changed to make sure this can never happen again.

Also agree with PP who asked if your daughter has received an explanation of what went wrong, personal apology, and assurances of what will change for the future.

[Somerville]

That's UNnecesssary. Not necessary.

[Owllady]

Can you call a meeting with them?
Anyone looking after your daughter should be familiar with her care plan. It's basic stuff

I do understand why ppl don't see it as an issue, they've apologised etc - which is fair enough but otoh if you have a physical disability you're care needs and dignity are EXTREMELY important and people need to familiarise themselves with her care plan to assure it doesn't happen again.

[LivingInMidnight]

Agree with Somerville completely. Genuine or not you and your daughter need to know that this won't be allowed to happen again. If you felt it was easily dismissed that's clearly not the case. Just because she's 10 doesn't mean she's not entitled to dignity, and to expect it as a matter of course.

[Owllady]

Your not you're
Sorry it's incorrect not me

[NeedACleverNN]

Did the TA actually apologise to your Dd?

Why did she think she had to stare at your Dd whilst she used the bathroom?

[EightNoineTen]

I understand why you're annoyed and it must have been mortifying for your dd. I agree it was a mistake and she can't do more than apologise and assure it won't happen again but really she should have been familiar with the plan in the first place.

[EightNoineTen]

Also surely she should have turned around when your dd asked and then checked the plan again for future. Maybe she was worried if something went wrong, like if your dd fell, she'd be in trouble for not following what she thought was the plan. Still as I said before, she should have familiarised herself with it...I think I can remember it now from reading your op.