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A bloke in the street said 'cheer up love, give us a smile' and I did. Urgh!!!

(190 Posts)
YoJesse Mon 11-Jul-16 14:40:31

And now I'm pissed off with myself. I didn't feel like smiling, I don't think I should have to smile because some random male said I should. I just instantly did as I was told before my brain even engaged. Then he said 'ahh, that's much better baby face' angryangryangry I always do this or look embarrassed and scuttle by with my head down when blokes say stuff like this in the street even though I would call myself a feminist. (I'm not great at putting my feminist beliefs into action).

What do other women do? Withering look, sharp comment or just ignore.
Is it unreasonable for something like this to get to me that much?

formerbabe Mon 11-Jul-16 14:42:46

My normal response is

"Go fuck yourself"

SuePerkins Mon 11-Jul-16 14:43:30

I am a resting bitch face sufferer so I get this sometimes. I've trained myself to scowl murderously. The only time I find it tricky to scowl is when it's an elderly person who seems to genuinely think they're "helping" in some way and then I tend to give them a very fake smile!

TheRealPosieParker Mon 11-Jul-16 14:44:05

My normal response is "sorry, who are you?" or "fuck off".

But these people rely upon your politeness to force you to engage..... next time, OP, next time.

NavyandWhite Mon 11-Jul-16 14:45:39

I couldn't care less if a bloke said that to me.

DamsonGinIsMyThing Mon 11-Jul-16 14:45:54

I like do do an all teeth bared grin at them with a slightly manic look in my eyes.

NavyandWhite Mon 11-Jul-16 14:46:20

Why so aggressive? confused
It's just some random you'll never see again.

ParadiseCity Mon 11-Jul-16 14:47:46

I suppose a good instant response is 'mind your own business'. But don't beat yourself up, whatever you had said it was still 'urgh' regardless - his fault and not your own!

LilacSpunkMonkey Mon 11-Jul-16 14:47:54

The last time I got this was when I was having a perfectly reasonable chat at the bus stop with two women. The bus pulled up, I turned to face the front and a guy got off and told me 'it won't be a very merry Christmas with that face'. Me and the two women behind me were shock. I didn't say anything but I vowed that the next time I bloody would.

It's such a twattish thing to say. And it's only men who say it and they only say it to women, never other men. Sexism is alive and well in the UK in 2016.

formerbabe Mon 11-Jul-16 14:49:37

Why so aggressive?
It's just some random you'll never see again.

It makes me really angry...because...

It's always men who say this.

They only say it to women.

They seem to think they can dictate how I should behave.

They have no idea what may have just happened to me or what news I may have received.

YouTheCat Mon 11-Jul-16 14:50:27

I can't be bothered to engage so just blank them . Makes them look really stupid.

NavyandWhite Mon 11-Jul-16 14:51:56

Yeah I know all that formerbabe.

I just can't be arsed getting angry about stuff like that. I think the most they might get from me is a shrug.

IHateDoors Mon 11-Jul-16 14:52:04

Fuck off is the only response I ever give to this.

sixinabed Mon 11-Jul-16 14:52:53

If not with children, I usually say 'my dog just died'. Shuts them right up. Twats.

gandalf456 Mon 11-Jul-16 14:55:44

I'd poke my tongue out. They don't expect that from a 45 year old woman

PurpleDaisies Mon 11-Jul-16 14:56:31

What do other women do
Withering look, sharp comment or just ignore.
At various times, all these. I normally go for my best teacher glare.
Is it unreasonable for something like this to get to me that much?
No, I hate it too. It's patronising and if you're feeling awful about whatever the last thing you want is some twit telling you to cheer up.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost Mon 11-Jul-16 14:56:45

I can't stand that and smile it might never happened. How do these arse holes know it hasn't already.!!!!!.
And yes that's a good point. They do only say it to women.

GirlWithTheLionHeart Mon 11-Jul-16 14:57:04

I literally just ignore and keep walking as if they don't exist.

SteviebunsBottrittrundle Mon 11-Jul-16 14:57:42

I have resting bitch face, but am actually quite friendly when people engage with me. I probably would have done the same as you and then felt the same too! It's a bit yuk.

To combat my RBF problem I sometimes overcompensate and smile too much. Think that's even worse actually - weird, fake smiling while doing groceries. People must think I'm high! Might knock it on the head actually and resign myself to RBF.

U2HasTheEdge Mon 11-Jul-16 15:00:41

I get it all the time.

I either ignore them or give them daggers.

YoJesse Mon 11-Jul-16 15:03:42

It's only ever done by men, to women. It's never meant nicely is it really or as a compliment.

I'm a shit feminist but I still believe in feminism and believe we've got a long way to go before the sexes are equal. Just wish I could put my beliefs into practice.

blushrush Mon 11-Jul-16 15:08:53

Ugh, I hate it when that happens. I usually give them a short, sharp 'No' and walk on. It's usually followed by them whispering 'B***h' under their breath.

I also hate having to explain to people why I don't like it or why it's rude.

It's not a compliment or a nice thing to say. It's rude and intrusive.

You'd never say to someone walking down the street 'Hey love, stop smiling!' or 'Hey darling, give us a cough' so why is it okay to do it with smiling?

BackforGood Mon 11-Jul-16 15:09:36

It' not only ever done by men to women at all.
I've heard many a woman, over the years say something along the lines of 'Cheer up, it might never happen', or 'give us a smile then' confused

Like others, I can't get worked up about it - there's a lot of things happening in the world that are worth getting angry about, but someone trying to put a smile on a few more faces certainly isn't one of them.

TheHiphopopotamus Mon 11-Jul-16 15:11:42

God, I fucking hate this. They've no idea what might be going off in your life and it's none of their sodding business anyway! Women aren't just decorative objects, there to make random blokes feel better about their surroundings (because it is always men who say it).

Yanbu. Tell 'em to fuck off.

SpeakNoWords Mon 11-Jul-16 15:13:28

They're not trying to put a smile on people's faces though, are they? If so, they could give you a normal ordinary compliment, or they could offer to help you, or ask you if you'd like to talk, or anything that would be a normal interaction between two equal human beings. What they're actually doing is ordering you to be more decorative and pleasing to them without giving a shit about you as a person.

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