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to beat myself up for this reeeeally mean comment?

(41 Posts)
YesAnastasia Mon 11-Jul-16 12:37:51

We were watching GOT and there's a man in it that I fancy like crazy, at one point this man turns around & his face has changed completely.

I said:
'He reminded me of you when we first met before he turned around, if that WERE you he'd have turned around & been bald with glasses.'

He never makes me feel good and in that show there are beautiful naked women everywhere & I think because it makes me feel conscious of my own approaching 40, fat, pregnancy & surgery scarred body (& I can see DH enjoying the sights) I was spiteful.

I've really upset him.

sonjadog Mon 11-Jul-16 12:41:46

You were a little tactless, yes

EatShitDerek Mon 11-Jul-16 12:43:34

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Maverick66 Mon 11-Jul-16 12:43:38

You have been mean. DH is balding and he hates it.he sees it as a reminder of getting old and his body letting him down. Personally, his hair loss doesn't annoy me. But I would never joke in a nasty way about it.

FeckinCrutches Mon 11-Jul-16 12:44:28

So you were spiteful and nasty to your husband and made him feel shit because you feel insecure about yourself? Nice.

Owllady Mon 11-Jul-16 12:44:36

Are you married to Harry Hill?

Presumably you've apologised? Taking your own insecurities on your spouse isn't fair. Sounds like he needs to work a bit harder on making you feel better though.

acasualobserver Mon 11-Jul-16 12:46:25

At least he didn't reply, "You're no Mother of Dragons yourself, love."

NickiFury Mon 11-Jul-16 12:46:48

I would have laughed if it were me. I suppose some people are more sensitive to this stuff though. My ex has put on weight recently and grown a beard, he has reddish blonde hair. I told him he looked like Henry the VIII after his six wives these days, he thought it was funny and we don't even like each other very much.

sonlypuppyfat Mon 11-Jul-16 12:49:30

Was this the many faced gods guy? He is gorgeous

fassbendersmistress Mon 11-Jul-16 12:52:56

Apologise, explain why you said it and get to work on dealing with your insecurities.

And have a conversation at the same time with your DH and make a pact to be kind to each other. It really helps.

c3pu Mon 11-Jul-16 12:54:36

As a rule of thumb, taking the pee out of things people say and do is usually OK.

Taking the pee out of the things they can't change too easily (looks, sexuality, weight etc) is usually thin ice.

However it's said and done now, try and make it up to him and don't do it again lol

toffeeboffin Mon 11-Jul-16 12:56:51

Yes, in GOT there are loads of hot naked women, and also loads of hot men, the faceless God or whatever being one of them.

Your comment wasn't the best op, but I always tell DH I'm gonna run off with Jaime Lannister so don't worry too much. Hopefully your DH didn't take it too seriously.

YesAnastasia Mon 11-Jul-16 13:02:02

I know it was mean, plus the reason I'm beating myself up about this is because I never say things like this. Ever.

BUT I was joking and he knows I still fancy him. I honestly thought he'd laugh. He said he was sorry he'd gone bald & had bad eyesight.. blushsad

MoonfaceAndSilky Mon 11-Jul-16 13:07:08

He said he was sorry he'd gone bald & had bad eyesight..

Oh no, that's sad you horrible cow sad
You've got some serious making up to do.

YesAnastasia Mon 11-Jul-16 13:10:50

I can't cope with my favourite childhood characters knowing my shame MoonfaceAndSilky

I have actually just googled the actor (No, I am not working today) and without the hair & if he wore glasses he would look very much like my DH.

Giggorata Mon 11-Jul-16 13:14:33

You're talking about the delectable Jaqen H'ghar.... (Misses point entirely)

... Oh dear.

toadgirl Mon 11-Jul-16 13:16:26

Now he'll start wearing contacts and get a badly-fitting wig and it'll be all your fault, OP grin

Seriously though, maybe you could have a heart-to-heart about how you are mortified about this comment just surging forth from your mouth. How you don't think of his appearance negatively at all and how it all stems from how you are feeling about yourself. You will probably both end up reassuring each other and moving on from this.

mogloveseggs Mon 11-Jul-16 13:18:49

Oh heck. Apologise and talk to him about your insecurities if you can.

Buggers Mon 11-Jul-16 13:22:51

Oh dear! It's awful when you slip out with things like this meaning it to be a jokeblush! You may have to do some loving tonightwink!

pictish Mon 11-Jul-16 13:22:51

At least he didn't reply, "You're no Mother of Dragons yourself, love."
Haha grin

OP it was a mean thing to say but I believe you when you say you thought he'd laugh. I have a black/scathing soh myself. It's terrible when it goes wrong. blush

You can only apologise. xx

ellie264 Mon 11-Jul-16 13:24:49

Just apologise, explain that you were feeling a bit insecure that day and admit that you were out of line. Then give him a snog to show him that you do fancy him smile.

Havingkittens04 Mon 11-Jul-16 13:29:02

My DC wears glasses, and is no less beautiful with them on. You made a statement that implied that your DH's looks are hampered by his glasses - what a horrible thing to imply.

Also, my DH is bald, and has been since he was in his late teens, and is still self-conscious about it, 20 years on. Baldness can be attributed to a lot of testosterone and super virility - which seems to be true in our case - and I wouldn't change his looks for the world.

Please apologise to your DH, LET HIM KNOW YOU STILL FANCY HIM and in future try not to disguise your insecurities in the form of hurtful words aimed at your (poor) DH, however lighthearted you intended the comments to be hmm

DownstairsMixUp Mon 11-Jul-16 13:45:51

This is the sort of thing I'd say and put my foot in it. blush just say sorry op, I'm sure all will be ok!

BengalCatMum Mon 11-Jul-16 13:47:35

Time to make apologies cake cake

IceRoadDucker Mon 11-Jul-16 13:51:40

Aw. It was mean and you know it but I'm sure we've all misjudged a jokey insult. There's a running joke among my colleagues about hairlines and I can see myself doing it in less accepting company because I'm so used to it.

Just do something kind for him and make sure you show you still fancy him smile

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