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About to join but have spotted a father from my children's school on it ...

(31 Posts)
NotSos Sun 10-Jul-16 17:14:00

... and is quite cute, and from his profile sounds like a nice guy! I can't bear to put my picture on now as he will know it is me immediately. Is it unreasonable to join and NOT put a picture on, see if anyone contacts me based on personality alone??? And/or if he does? Thanks for any advice. I was actually hoping just to sneak on and see what is out there without having to join, but am being lured into joining by 'winks' and emails from people, that I cannot access until I fully sign up. Am a bit scared! Someone please reassure me that it is no big deal, I am not even sure I want to meet someone, just curious after having a romantic fling on holiday and realising what I am missing!! Think 'Before Sunrise' for a 40 year old :-)

travellinglighter Sun 10-Jul-16 17:17:29

Make a note of his profile name, sign up and block him. He won’t be able to see you.

There was a girl on POF when I was on it, I was less shy than you, she was way out of my league though.

c3pu Sun 10-Jul-16 17:18:55

Very few people respond to profiles without pics.

It usually means they're married.

NotSos Sun 10-Jul-16 17:25:18

Thanks for the good advice to both of you. Good point about being married. Ok, I think I will sign up, block him and then add my photo, in that order! Does any good ever come of it ... ?

AllChangeLife Sun 10-Jul-16 17:28:11

Er. if he is cute and sounds like a nice guy why are you trying to hide from him?!

hazeimcgee Sun 10-Jul-16 17:30:32

Agree with AllChange. Put photo on and he may not even see you but if he does he'll either wink / message pr never mention it. Just don't worry about it.
Also if you know he's single and looking, maybe a friendly hi in the playground...

VioletVaccine Sun 10-Jul-16 17:30:57

I don't know, personally I'd skip past any profile without a picture, as I'd wonder what they have to hide. Maybe that's just me but personally I'd skip by a no picture ad, in case they were married and just looking for a quick shag or too far different in age or appearance than their profile says

I'd do what travelling suggests, sign up and just block him...unless you actually like him? You are both single, and tentatively looking at dating, and you said he's cute?wink

Windsofwinter Sun 10-Jul-16 17:31:28

Er. if he is cute and sounds like a nice guy why are you trying to hide from him?!

This. Or you could strike up a conversation in the playground first before you decide?

VioletVaccine Sun 10-Jul-16 17:32:21

Oops, big cross post with everybody grin blush

NotSos Sun 10-Jul-16 17:32:41

I would just be so embarrassed for him to know that I am on it too, both of us blanking each other in the playground everyday etc. But it has given me an advantage, as I did not know that he was single, or anything about him, but now I see him in a new light!

SaggyNaggy Sun 10-Jul-16 17:34:46

Id forget signig up right now and approach the cute playground guy first wink

NotSos Sun 10-Jul-16 17:35:44

Actually have only spoken to him very briefly once just before we broke up for the summer holidays, with no ulterior motive, so can maybe say 'Hi' again in September with my insider knowledge :-)

Doinmummy Sun 10-Jul-16 17:38:14

On line dating is not a taboo subject any more, nothing to be embarrassed about . You're in the same boat as this guy so I wouldn't block him .

Hope you find true love and if you don't have fun anyway !

NotSos Sun 10-Jul-16 17:39:31

Although what is that saying - 'A dog never **s in its own back yard' ... as I will have to see this guy most days in the playground for the next few years.

Ok well thanks all for the advice, will mull it over.

c3pu Sun 10-Jul-16 17:40:11

Thing with is they are after making money. I've heard a lot of horror stories about fake winks/emails etc, just to keep the users paying money.

Have you tried any of the free dating ones?

NotSos Sun 10-Jul-16 17:45:15

Thanks c3pu, yes I did wonder about that as I saw that program too, totally fake messages etc. Actually which are the free ones, like a normal one with real people on it, not just tinder and the like?

JOEYDOESNTSHAREFOOD Sun 10-Jul-16 18:11:50

What's the programme? I'm on match, well I've just stopped as I'm seeing someone, but I got messaged a few times with the opening message insinuating that I was probably fake.

trafalgargal Sun 10-Jul-16 18:14:12

Why would you be more or less embarrassed than him?
You are both single and looking to meet new people. What is so embarrassing? He's a similar age to you so knows once you get beyond your twenties especially with kids it isn't so easy to meet people. Only embarrassment I can think of is if one of you is married but claiming to be single at the site.

NotSos Sun 10-Jul-16 18:14:53

It was Panorama or Horizon or something, or possibly just a segment on the BBC news. And it showed the actual Dating website agents have to set up fake profiles and message people - to keep them interested and hence keep taking their money :-(

Noonesfool Sun 10-Jul-16 18:14:59

I live in fear of seeing the parent of any of the kids I teach on a particular dating site.

Or worse, beginning to chat to someone and THEN finding out they are.


Snazarooney Sun 10-Jul-16 18:16:41

Tinder is free and has virtually all of the same people on it. I think the etiquette is not to mention to people you know that you've seen them on online dating sites so I doubt he'll mention it. If he does just say I couldn't resist having a sneaky look. You need at least one picture or there's no point joining.

c3pu Sun 10-Jul-16 18:21:44

I've used OKcupid and POF with some success. There's lots of duffer's on all the sites tbh, whether you pay for them or not. But at least with the free ones you don't waste any money on them haha!

Doinmummy Sun 10-Jul-16 18:23:17

I remember seeing that Notsos
Didn't they also set up fake profiles using images they've pinched from elsewhere on the internet ?

Tartsamazeballs Sun 10-Jul-16 18:25:04

I think the saying is "don't shit where you eat".

Jeez, it's only POF, not like you met at a swingers party! You're overthinking it wink

JaceLancs Sun 10-Jul-16 18:25:24

Try smooch it's a free one and I seemed to get more genuine messages on there than from some of the other sites

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