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AIBU?

Silly to be upset...

8 replies

PinkBlueBrown · 10/07/2016 11:22

I'm a first time poster. Bigger things going on in my life. But I'm quite upset. Yesterday we went to a friends house with both our kids (2 under the age of 4) for a small party. DH best friend has moved close by with wife and kids. I know the wife really fancies my DH. Even trying it on with him in the past at a party (she was very drunk). Anyway I left the party with kids and put kids to bed. DH stayed. I went to bed at midnight. I had joked with DH to be careful. Anyway I don't know what time he got back. During the week he was lateish home as went for drinks with the team no notice. No idea what time he got back this morning. He takes eldest swimming so he went this morning. I was up from 3am to 5am with toddler before giving up and bringing toddler to bed. DH slept in spare room cos when he boozes a) it stinks b) he snores c) I get disturbed with frequent trips to the loo. Anyway I'm exhausted he does get up to take 4 year old to swimming but then they've come home later than expected this morning after a coffee. Baby has been ridiculously clingy. But I still made brunch for DH and eldest. I'm a SAHM. I feel resentful he does what he wants (goes for team drinks, stayed out late last night, didn't come back on time this morning when I said I was very tired after baby being awake so long) I don't know I'm probably tired and it's a small thing. I probably need time for myself but as a SAHM I never have it.

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19lottie82 · 10/07/2016 11:26

Not ideal, but In fairness you did "let" him stay when you knew everyone was drinking.

He now owes you a "pass", so feel free to use it.

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19lottie82 · 10/07/2016 11:27

If you need time to yourself, then take it!

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PinkBlueBrown · 10/07/2016 11:31

Yep yeah I guess I didn't really 'let' him stay just thought it's nice to chill with friends for him. Think I need to put myself forward and time to self is required. Our first weekend home in ages due to lots of weddings (kids invited to weddings) so been very hectic. Thanks for advice

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Rrross1ges · 10/07/2016 11:33

So you let him stay late at a party. He did. Then, as arranged, he took one of your children swimming. He came back a big later than expected. Is that it? Am I missing something?

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0nTheEdge · 10/07/2016 11:34

Maybe when you're feeling less stressed out and resentful, have a conversation with him about how you're feeling and how you need some time for yourself. You don't need to make him feel bad for the time he has, but make him realise that you need something for yourself too! Maybe a regular date night with a friend or a dance class, etc.

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PinkBlueBrown · 10/07/2016 11:38

I get the message I'm probably being tired and tetchy

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MrsBobDylan · 10/07/2016 11:49

Are you most bothered about dh's best friend's wife fancying your dh?

Doesn't sound like dh's done much wrong, really. He stayed out drinking with your approval, slept in the spare room to not disturb you and got up to take the other child swimming.

Make sure you either arrange a babysitter so you and dh can go out or go out yourself with friend's. No need to stay home and feel resentful, although it is understandable because you're tired.

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PinkBlueBrown · 10/07/2016 11:51

I think yes that does bother me. Not so much that I think he would be unfaithful but probably because I view her as slimmer and more attractive than me. So it's a combination of things. I trust DH just not her. But she's not a bad person. The tiredness not helping. He hasn't done anything wrong he's a great husband. Now I feel silly for posting something I should have really worked out in my head