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To be perplexed by this?

(119 Posts)
gardenangels Sat 09-Jul-16 22:11:58

Four of us arrange to have a coffee together to celebrate. Was arranged by Clarissa who is close friends with all of us. We all know each other but Clarissa glues us together.

We get to coffee shop Clarissa starts a conversation with a random stranger and then goes to join their table for 40 minutes. By the time she comes back we are ready to leave...

Pettywoman Sat 09-Jul-16 22:14:27

No problem, just chat. You don't really need Clarissa.

Glassofwineneeded Sat 09-Jul-16 22:15:41

I love the word 'perplexed'!
Yes I would find this odd too, I once arranged an activity with a neighbour and our kids, think pottery painting type of thing where you have to help the kids. Her phone goes, she answers it and then spends the next half an hour chatting. I spend that time helping her kids and mine too and then it's time to leave!
I didn't atrange to meet up with her after that - just plain rude.

PerpendicularVincent Sat 09-Jul-16 22:15:45

I think that it's a bit odd, tbh.

hurtyboobs Sat 09-Jul-16 22:15:55

Maybe Clarissa is bored of being your social secretary and wanted to chat to someone new

gardenangels Sat 09-Jul-16 22:16:57

I think it is a problem as we arranged to see each other for a chat weeks ago and a rare event as so busy and there were 2 birthdays to celebrate

gardenangels Sat 09-Jul-16 22:18:42

Not my social secretary no need to get nasty. She arranged it.

Snowflakes1122 Sat 09-Jul-16 22:19:44

That's an entirely odd thing to do. She ditched the friends whom she had arranged to meet and sat with strangers? confused

gardenangels Sat 09-Jul-16 22:21:44

Complete strangers.

gardenangels Sat 09-Jul-16 22:24:09

She started the conversation with them across the cafe then went to join them and came back 40 minutes later. First time the 4 of us have been able to meet together due to busy lives

Heidi42 Sat 09-Jul-16 22:25:06

perhaps she couldn't get away. Perhaps they were in dire straights and needed help? perhaps she didn't realise the time until it was too late, perhaps she didn't want to pay the bill/eat/drink /be merry with you all?

gardenangels Sat 09-Jul-16 22:26:02

Really don't understand why posters like hardblob come out with unpleasant comments.

MiddleClassProblem Sat 09-Jul-16 22:27:07

It is odd.was she giving them some serious advice that she is an expert in/trained in?

Still odd to be so long

gardenangels Sat 09-Jul-16 22:27:16

Not any of those things near enough to hear conversation. Bill was paid upfront.

Heidi42 Sat 09-Jul-16 22:30:08

perhaps she wanted you all to chat to get to know one another without her there?
Now that would make sense

Patterkiller Sat 09-Jul-16 22:30:19

I think Clarissa is my ex mate Sharissa. Needed to be loved by everyone, needed to strive for new connections. Failed to nurture the existing. I rarely see her now.

gardenangels Sat 09-Jul-16 22:30:32

Absolutely ruined the meet up

gardenangels Sat 09-Jul-16 22:32:30

We have known each other for over 10 years and get on well so not necessary. She arranged it to celebrate 2 of the groups birthdays then disappeared

ABloodyDifficultWoman Sat 09-Jul-16 22:39:15

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

PatriciaHolm Sat 09-Jul-16 22:41:59

Why did 1 of the 4 of you effectively not being there ruin it?

Sounds odd behaviour, but also sounds as if the other 3 of you might be overly dependent on her.

hurtyboobs Sat 09-Jul-16 22:43:00

But three of you could still have had a good chat?

Crunchymum Sat 09-Jul-16 22:43:19

What is your issue OP? You all know each other so I presume weren't sat in silence for 40m?

You seem irrationally pissed off..

gardenangels Sat 09-Jul-16 22:44:28

She just joined us as we were about to leave. No apology. Other two seemed ok with it so I thought maybe I was being unreasonable so did not say anything as did not want to make a fuss.

Crunchymum Sat 09-Jul-16 22:46:11

Also your subsequent post about the coffee meet up being to celebrate 2 people's birthday is a bit of a drip feed!!!

gardenangels Sat 09-Jul-16 22:47:31

I don't think it is irrational to be pissed off when the 4 of us arranged to meet up. Not dependent on her. We were all talking but waiting for her to come back.

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