Garden fence and next doors unruly children(57 Posts)
Hi please could people offer advice at my wits end.
I live in a terraced house alone with my 8 year old DS who has autism.
In February 5 fence panels blew down in a storm. I am still waiting for the housing association to replace them. They are only replacing them because next door is a private rental not one of their properties. However, the housing association have said they will only replace if next doors landlord goes half. I am still waiting despite lots of false promise, complaints and phone calls.
Next door have 2 boys 5 and 7 who are left to do what that like. Their eldest son loved to take toys off my DS and watch him have a meltdown. Their youngest son keeps telling DS that he will punch him if he doesn't play with them. DS wants to be left alone. They won't leave him alone. They've even entered our house twice and taken DS toys.
Friday, after I lost it with housing association they put up a temporary tarpaulin to divide the gardens (my suggestion ) their kids have stood on chairs to peer over it(not just for a glimpse but 30 mins plus to call at and torment DS) thryve climbed over it , thrown stones and even a bloody ladder In to my garden. Took one of DS's toys and threatened to throw it into garden behind,greatly upsetting DS. I intervene but they don't listen. Their parents aren't nasty people but are wet and don't follow through any punishments. The kids are left to their own devices.
I'm at my wits end. They're antogonising my DS in what should be a safe space.
Any ideas how to get rid of them. When the fence is finally repaired I'm going to try and grow plants perhaps up it. He tarpaulin is 6ft and doesn't stop them.
Can't afford to move and love this area and my other neighbours.
Worried as school hols are nearly here and ds is energetic and entitled to a garden to play in.
Thanks for reading.
If you can afford it, get some pyracantha, very pretty flowers in the spring, colourful berries in the autumn and evil thorns Or roses It might take you a while but I took a few cuttings off my pyracantha very successfully.
Have you actually spoken to the parents about this? I know you say they're wet but is that just generally or have you actually spoken to them about this?
I'd knock and be really honest but firm and explain its really not on for them to pick on/torment your son in his own garden especially as he has a disability.
I'm not sure what you do if nothing happens after that though.
I agree with pp-get a prickly tall tree thing growing on that side.
Hope they fix the fence soon. Would it be worth going to your MP or raising an official complaint over them not fixing it?
Whose fence is it? With us, our fence blew down last year, and the posts faced into our garden on that side. Therefore it was out fence and our responsibility to fix. Is there some kind of dispute over who is responsible for fixing? Hence them wanting to go halves?
OP so sorry to hear this; this is awful.
If you are allowed a dog; I would suggest buying one. A dog with loyalty to your DS would bark and growl its head off at these kids if it was clear they made your DS cry or stole something, and most likely the kids would shit themselves and never come in garden again.
They also would bark at anyone coming in the house without a family member there, so will increase your security overall.
I also would say you need something seriously spiky and quickly. Second the Pyracnthea suggestion. Maybe also blackberry or raspberry brambles in a mixed hedge.
But really I would possibly suggest that you need to be really hardline with these parents. Tell them what is happening; how its your garden; how you will not put up with it; and how you will do anything it takes to stop this happening. Including directing a hose at their children if they ever enter your garden again. Some kids are just vile; and really need to be shown rather than told.
If you know who the landlord is I would write a letter of complaint about the tenants and their unruly kids.
I would also tell the parents that if they don't reign in their
brats that you will be contacting the police for harassment, trespass and criminal damage every time the come into your garden, touch ds's toys and enter your house.
when you asked the parents to make them stop what did they say?
Wow, regardless of what the children have done it is completely unacceptable to advocate methods that would involve the children being potentially hurt ffs.
Call the police, log every incident and get them out to deal with the parents.
Anything else could well lead to the police being called out to you, OP, especially if either of those children gets hurt on your property by something you have put in place knowing it could hurt someone.
I would be tempted to ignore lilac as go with suggestions from other PPs.
Lilac police would not have any jurisdiction over this.
Also, they are contrary to popular belief out there dealing with some very unpleasant crimes.
IF they are in your garden, taking your child's toys, or upsetting him. If you have spoken to the parents. Then call the police and log it. Its antisocial behaviour they should come and have words
So we're not supposed to have prickly plants in the garden in case someone - who shouldn't be there - hurts themselves?
I'd speak to the parents and definitely plant something fast growing and spiky (I can't make any suggestions as I'm a crap gardener!).
Good luck OP, I hope you get something sorted out soon so your son can enjoy the garden.
Yes, ignore me. Silly me, what do I know about the police and children eh? I haven't had them out on no less than three occasions to the same family in the last year over a child harassing and threatening my son.
They came out every single time, for less than the OP is dealing with. There are such things as Community Officers. They're not all chasing murderers.
I didn't say no one should have spiky plants, but to plant them deliberately in order to keep children out (very bloody young children at that) is just plain nasty.
Anyone advocating that isn't painting themself as much better than the parents of the children next door tbh. They're children, with piss-poor parents by the sound of it. Hardly their fault. Posters on this thread are adults, who should know better.
Nettles are better and cheaper than thorns
Step one is to approach the parents.
Step two is to closely supervise ds in the garden unti they learn their behaviour is not invisible.
Poor you and poor ds, they sound horrid.
I'm sorry you're having to deal with this.
I'd go and speak to the parents and be very firm. Tell them you will not tolerate it.
If it happens again I'd give them a very scary bollocking. They're 5 & 7, not 15 & 17. If the parents won't parent them, other people will have to.
If it happened again I'd go back around and tell them that as they have not stopped their children you can only assume they need some help so if it happens again you will call social services.
If it happens again, call SS.
If it happens again I'd call the local police station. Obviously the response you get will vary from station to station. We are lucky, ours would come around and 'have a chat' with them.
Get it stopped now before they are any bigger! Your DS needs his safe garden.
I'd call the housing association & RE-explain the situation - tell them it's not possible to wait any longer. 5 fence panels is NOT a big deal.
If I want to plant something in my garden by my fence why do I have to think of other people? They shouldn't be trespassing in the first place!
We're talking about a prickly plant, it's not as though the OP is planning on putting up a barbed wire fence FFS!
zzzz I agree about nettles - I fell into a bed of nettles when I was little. No lasting damage but I still have healthy respect for them to this day!
The very idea of thinking of your neighbours, eh?
You sound as as bad as the OP's neighbours Pink.
Can you afford to replace the panels yourself? The expense might be worth the peace of mind.
You must stand up for your son and your property OP.
Anytime they go to come in your garden tell them of!Report them to the Police as well and make sure to mention that your son is disabled(it does make a difference)my DH is a Police Officer and 2 of our 5DC are autistic so you have my upmost sypmpathy and I'm bloody furious for you and your DS as well.
Tell the Police that they've stolen from your property,chucked a ladder over your property,entered your house with out permission and threatened your disabled son.
Tell the Police that you've spoken to the parents and the children but that the parents are never there supervising them.
It doesn't matter how old they are they're old enough now to know better and they're parents need a serious kick up the arse!
And honestly if either of the children did anything you've mentioned again or they tried to I'd tell them your calling the Police,that should give them the scare they need,if it doesn't they're more than likely tell they're parents and that should give them the kick up the arse they need to sort out they're own children.
If your Landlord is responsible for the fence they should replace (and vice versa if the private LL is) it should be in the deeds of the property. They need to maintain the boundary (and not try and get half costs from the other party)
Lilac, I do think of my neighbours and try to be a good neighbour to them. However that doesn't stretch to thinking it's acceptable for them to trespass in my garden. I take it you're happy for anyone to come into your garden whenever they feel like it?
Of course I wouldn't be happy for people to trespass in my garden but I also wouldn't plant spiky plants or bushes to keep children out of it.
HA's do not legally have to replace the defence. You can complain all you like, it isn't going to change their obligations. Who's boundary is it? ( not that that really makes any difference).
Can you afford to replace it yourself? If you can then that's what I'd do.
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