To be really annoyed by this..(17 Posts)
Me and my partner went on our honeymoon back in March. While there, I lost some cash and my dad sent me a hundred quid over for the last day. He picked us up from the airport and I asked for his bank details to pay him back when I got back into my house and he said it was OK. So I took the matter as done with.
Nothing about this has been mentioned to me up until today.
We booked a last minute deal to Lanzarote this afternoon and DH updated his facebook to say so. Within a few minutes I got a ranty message off my sister saying I was taking the piss out of my dad and I should have at least offered him 50 quid of what I owe him instead of just booking holidays. I spoke to my dad immediately after getting this message and he said he didn't remember but he thinks he meant it was OK, I didn't have to pay him THAT SECOND (in the car...). It seems there have been miscommunications somewhere but I transferred the money right away and he seems happy.
My issue, is that this has never actually been mentioned to me despite it clearly being a topic of conversation between my family (I suspect my mum rather than my dad, as my dad isn't a gossipy person at all) and for that message to be sent within 5 mins of her finding out I was going away...kinda says to me that its been made out to be some massive deal that I didn't pay my dad money I didn't know I owed him...if this had been mentioned prior I would have paid him back months and months ago but with noone ever saying anything its now gone on for like 4 months with me being none the wiser and people bitching behind my back about it.
I don't blame my dad, and he doesn't seem to blame me as its all sorted and its been agreed it was just a matter of miscommunication/misunderstanding. But am I wrong to be pissed off about the situation? If I had an issue about something, I would tell the person, not talk behind their backs for ages about it..maybe I am overreacting or something but I am mad as hell right now.
I think you should have paid your dad back. But it's none of your sister's business.
YABU. You should have paid your Dad back, especially before booking another holiday and your DH boasting about it on FB. Whoever should be "mad as hell" it certainly isn't you.
I think YANBU- you thought your dad had said you didn't need to pay you the money back, but as soon as you found out you did, you transferred it! I wonder if your dad did mean you to keep it but was overruled on the matter...
Yanbu, it was between your dad and yourself. Actually how cheap and embarrassing is your sister fighting over 100 with you. Does she even like you, can't imagine doing that to my sister.
Yanbu. Easy mistake to make. But it's sorted now so stop worrying.
I would have paid my dad back if I knew I owed it. We could afford easily to do so otherwise I would never have lent it in the first place, but I was under the impression he had just given me it..
Maybe I should have pushed to pay it back even though he said it was ok at the time...I may have dealt with that wrong. But I find it ridiculous that noone has ever mentioned it to me? I have seen them all so many times since then, spoke to them on the phone and such too. I guess it just seems a really weird situation as if it was a massive deal surely at least one of them would have said something actually to me, in which case I would have been as mortified as I was earlier on today at the mistake and paid it immediately :S
Op my dad would say exactly the same and he'd mean no need to pay hom. Difference is neither he or my mum would say any more to anyone.
You wouldn't have needed to 'push' to give it back. You could have simply handed him the cash.
Your sister should mind her own business, though you really should have known you ought to have paid your dad back asap, and that he shouldn't have needed to ask.
I think the discussion you mention in your original post shows that it was too brief a conversation to draw the conclusion that you didn't have to give him the money back. It's no big deal now, apologise for your misunderstadning, give him the money back and tell your sister to back out but thank her for the heads up, without which you might never have realised.
People get too embarrassed to ask for money. You should have given it back to him, thus avoiding it becoming an issue. Lesson learned.
Just be glad your sister did speak up.
Yanbu. my dad would have probably meant not to worry about paying it back, and would have said something along the lines of it being a treat on your honeymoon. However, I would have probably pressed him a bit further about repayment initially.
Your sister sounds just like one of mine, she is a massive cow. Can't stand the thought of me getting something and her not.
'I don't have any cash on me now but if you send me your bank details I will put the money tomorrow'
'Are you sure?'
'Yes chick' with a winky smile
hands me wedding photos to look at
Was the actual convo I had.
reading back OP it does look a bit strange that I took 'ok' to mean that but a bit of context xD
Sorry to drip feed a bit..
Anyway, I do now accept I should have paid him back even though it seemed very clear he didn't want me to. I should maybe add that when I have owed him money before he has had no issue if I have been late giving it back saying something about it, neither he or my mum, though tbf it had been a LONG time since I had lent anything until this happened.
Thanks. I have chilled a lot now and seen it from possible different perspectives and yeah, seems I was in the wrong with the orginal money thing, but I still am slightly angry at my sister tbh (and whoever felt the need to inform her my business also). Not saying anything though as I don't wanna fall out with her..
We could afford easily to do so otherwise I would never have lent it in the first place
You didn't lend it, you borrowed it. He lent it.
I don't know why everyone is being so snotty about this.
If we have parents that we get on with and love, and who love us, sometimes we accept money from them. I know my mum will just transfer money to my account if I don't accept the cash from her!
YANBU OP. I'd be annoyed as well.
My Dad is generous too, if he said "it's okay" I would take that to mean not to worry and wouldn't expect to be subsequently gossiped about. Whoever has been slagging you off behind your back is a bellend.
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