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DC, bed time cuddlies, age and removing them....?

(203 Posts)
Nocuddlies Fri 08-Jul-16 17:08:23

NC obviously.

My DC are barely 9 and 6. The last three years my ex and I have been divorcing. Things have pretty terrible, he's passive aggressive and I've been in counselling two years coming to terms with his behaviour, including the affair he had. Not the point of this thread.

So bedtime cuddlies. My two DC both still very much have to have their favourite cuddlies for bed every night.

Ex has not allowed them to have their cuddlies at his house last weekend. He says they are fine about it. He walked DC to the wheelie bin outside my house and made them throw their cuddlies in. DS ran away from him clutching cuddly but now doesn't want to ever visit again. DD is far more compliant to him and threw them away. I'm not going to say any more about her reaction as I'd like to gage MN response.

If your DC still have cuddlies, how old are they?

Howlongtillbedtime Fri 08-Jul-16 17:10:54

Well my eldest is 12 and has taken his on his school trip and I know he is not alone . He regularly has people over for sleepovers who also bring one .

I don't think they necessarily cuddle them but they like to know a piece of home is with them I think .

Your ex sounds like a dick.

Tellmewhyohwhy Fri 08-Jul-16 17:11:10

That is downright cruel. My children can have their cuddly toys as long as they want them. What a horrible horrible man.

orangepudding Fri 08-Jul-16 17:11:25

My 12 year old has one that she has in bed and takes on sleepovers!

Your ex was cruel to ask them to throw them away.

PipnPosy Fri 08-Jul-16 17:11:33

7,5 and 3 and as far as I'm concerned they can keep their cuddlies as long as they want. Your ex is being horrible, particularly given the upheaval the kids have been through with the divorce etc.

Mamabear14 Fri 08-Jul-16 17:11:48

Your ex sounds a twat. I have a 9 and 11yr old. 9yr old DS not interested in them. 11yr old DS has a different one for each night of the week, and he cuddles into them. By day he's the stroppiest pre teen going, but he loves his teddies.

pieceofpurplesky Fri 08-Jul-16 17:12:32

My DS is 12 and his cuddly still lives in his bed - mine came to university with me

mogloveseggs Fri 08-Jul-16 17:13:06

Wtf!!! I've still got teddies from my childhood! You should never have to throw them away. No wonder he doesn't want to go his dad is being very cruel.

Chasingsquirrels Fri 08-Jul-16 17:13:18

My 13y10m still has the puppy he got at 6 weeks, I'm not sure quite how bothered he is, and he no longer takes it to camp - but he usually grabs it at bed time.

My 10y6m has a bed full of the things, I'm not quite sure whether there is room for him sometimes.

Your ex is a twunt, but you know that so it doesn't help.

wispywoo1 Fri 08-Jul-16 17:13:26

I still have a teddy at night blush I'm 28. My DD and any other future children can have them as long as they want!

weebarra Fri 08-Jul-16 17:13:35

That was really horrible of your ex. My 8 year old still has Ted, and my younger two (5 and 2) have their blankies.

FranKatzenjammer Fri 08-Jul-16 17:14:46

What a horrible 'father'! I still sleep with a soft toy and I'm 43. It has never been an issue with my partners, family or anyone else.

Steamgirl Fri 08-Jul-16 17:14:49

I've still got my favourite one and I'm in my 40s. It's in the loft but will never be thrown away.

Howlongtillbedtime Fri 08-Jul-16 17:15:00

Why do you think your daughter threw here away seemingly without question ?
That would worry me .

m0therofdragons Fri 08-Jul-16 17:15:15

Db took his cuddly to Canada when he moved there with his wife a few years back. He's 36. My dc can have them as long as they like.

My DS is 10 and has a bed full of various 'friends' - they'll go when he's ready (or they bury him alive, whichever comes sooner!).

Finola1step Fri 08-Jul-16 17:15:58

Cub Scout camp weekend, full of energetic 8-11 year old boys, all had teddies/cuddlies of some sort.

Your dh is a prick.

NeedACleverNN Fri 08-Jul-16 17:16:00

I'm 27 and I've still got teddy bears.

They don't sleep in my bed anymore but no chance would I throw them away

Your ex is a sick

NeedACleverNN Fri 08-Jul-16 17:16:10


Gazelda Fri 08-Jul-16 17:16:14

What a prick! Bloody cruel and unnecessary.

FutureBoardingParent Fri 08-Jul-16 17:16:37

My 12yo's school has cuddly toy on the packing list for boarding! On occasions when he's forgotten to pack his he's been fine, but still prefers to have it.

Finola1step Fri 08-Jul-16 17:17:09

Apologies. Not dh, exh. But still a prick.

WorraLiberty Fri 08-Jul-16 17:17:11

That's unbelievably cruel.

My boys are 24yrs, 17yrs and 13yrs and they've all kept their favorite cuddly toys and will continue to do so, because it's a nice reminder of their childhood.

Nocuddlies Fri 08-Jul-16 17:17:34

I had emailed him to say we have a problem regarding the cuddlies. Nothing more nothing less.

His reply (edited for names)

The cuddlies are only a problem because they have become dependent on them and know you will let them have them. They need to grow out of them especially DD because of her age, and they are fine without them. DD is 10 next year and I feel sooner rather than later. Also it will be easier for them to do it together. There were no complaints Friday or Saturday night.

I simply don't know how to reply to him. All he wants is to disagree with me.

StandoutMop Fri 08-Jul-16 17:18:43

Only 1 of my 3 has one, they are almost 8. Sometimes they mention not needing it anymore, in which case they plan to add it to keepsake box, along with first shoes, birthday cards etc.

Why get rid of something that brings comfort and reassurance? Don't get it at all.

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