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To wonder why when choosing a school parents go for the easiest option despite it not always being the best choice for their kids.

(318 Posts)
Jackpack Fri 08-Jul-16 13:32:41

My Ds is due to start high school in September. We put down a catholic school with a great reputation, good feel to it and with excellent ofsted reports and results and for our second choice we put down an equally good community school, both around 2.5 miles away. My Ds does go to Catholic primary so he'll move up with the majority of his friends, most of whom live closer to the school but he'll also have kids in his year that live close by to us as one of our local primaries is a feeder to the secondary, so making friends local shouldn't be a problem.

The reason I chose these two schools is quite simple, the rest in our town are diabolical, in every way imaginable. I wouldn't ever want my child to go there and if we'd have been allocated one of these schools then I'd have quit my job to joke school him. That's how bad they are! So, there are I think seven children in our street in the same year as my Ds so they are going to secondary as well this year. Each of their parents have chosen one of the failing schools to send them to and two of my friends, and a family member have chosen to do the same.

Obviously it is their choice to send their child to whichever school they like but why on earth they have chosen these schools i don't know, but then it dawned on me, because it's easier for them, the parents not the child I mean.

Sending their kids to the nearest school means they won't have to get up early and drive them to school. One of my friends was on Facebook recently raving that she can stay in bed longer come September as she won't have to take her child to school. I mean come on. I realise that a lot of kids do go local and there are certainly advantages to that including walking with friends etc but what's more important, thier kids get to walk to school with friends or that they get a better education. If all the schools in the area are equally as good then o can see why parents would want their kids to go to the local school, but when they're all exceptionally bad why not try for a better school slightly further away. It's just seems like laziness to me.

EatShitDerek Fri 08-Jul-16 13:34:25

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LaurieFairyCake Fri 08-Jul-16 13:35:44

1. Maybe they're not Catholic

2. Maybe they don't think the schools as bad as you do - I'd be interesting if they're actually all failing schools in special measures ?

3. Maybe they work and don't have time to drive them before work

4. Maybe they realise that parents have just as much to put in to education and outcomes as schooling does

Jackpack Fri 08-Jul-16 13:36:09

I care. Well I would do if I'd have chosen a school based on how easy it would be for me, rather than what was best for my child.

Jackpack Fri 08-Jul-16 13:37:29

I know not all kids are Catholic, it's not about that, as like I said I chosen a really good community school as well.

SirChenjin Fri 08-Jul-16 13:37:37

Perhaps they have bright, motivated children who will do well regardless? Or perhaps they just don't give a shit and are therefore Bad Parents, unlike you?

usual Fri 08-Jul-16 13:38:57

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

whatyouseeiswhatyouget Fri 08-Jul-16 13:39:03

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ticklethosetoes Fri 08-Jul-16 13:39:13

Maybe they have other kids and can't be in two places at once.

Maybe they think the catholic school is shit and not the right fit for their child.

Maybe the other school specialises in a subject their child excels in and the catholic one isn't as supportive of it.

Maybe they don't want their child to go to a catholic school

SaveSomeSpendSome Fri 08-Jul-16 13:39:19

My mother did this.

Sent me to the local shit school because it was on the same street we lived on.

I didnt want to go there but she wouldnt entertain me going anywhere further afield. She doesnt drive and worked bare minimum part time.

I lasted 2 years there were she finally applied for me to go to a school 3 mile away as i was suffering from such horrendous depression at the age of 12 and i was waking in the night crying and worrying about going to school!!

She sent me to the local shit primary school just because it was directly at the back of our house and i had to get myself up and ready for school at the age of 8-11 years whilst my mother stayed in bed.

Over my dead body will my child be getting themselves up and off to school with no breakfast while i lay in bed.

UmbongoUnchained Fri 08-Jul-16 13:39:30

Do you work full time? My child will be going to the nearest and easiest school for me so I don't have to spend fuck loads on breakfast and after school clubs.

megletthesecond Fri 08-Jul-16 13:40:17

Maybe they've sussed out that some of those 'failing' schools are quietly sneaking their way back up. And they get to walk to school. Bonus.

Jackpack Fri 08-Jul-16 13:40:28

The schools I was taking about really were secondary. There are only four secondary schools in our town that are rated good and above by ofsted, the rest are requires improvement or in special measures. I realise that going off ofsted reports solely to chose a school isn't a good idea as there are lots of other things to take into account but they should at least play a part when choosing a school.

Ticklethosetoes Fri 08-Jul-16 13:40:39

Be grateful for the other parents putting down a different school, it means theres more likely to be a place for your son

badtime Fri 08-Jul-16 13:40:42

Do people actually take their children to secondary school?

Maybe they wouldn't be taking their child to school no matter which they went to. I thought that was supposed to encourage independence.

edwinbear Fri 08-Jul-16 13:40:44

How on earth would you know what is the best choice for their kids?

Discobabe Fri 08-Jul-16 13:40:44

Because when you have to get them there for years to come, you have to be able to get there if they're sick to collect them, you have other children to sort, you can't afford the bus fares to get them there, their friends are all going there and they're severely anxious about knowing no one elsewhere or it means all their social circle live miles away and they end up getting left out of all the out of school social stuff their mates are doing the 'best school' doesn't automatically mean the best life for your family or that child.

I've seen many a smug parent brag about their child going to the best school only for it to backfire when their child ended up miserable there.

hazeyjane Fri 08-Jul-16 13:42:03


A) you are better than they are


B) you don't know as much about their reasons as you think you do


C) the schools are not as bad as you think, and the parents see some value in both the school and the fact of their closeness to home

longdiling Fri 08-Jul-16 13:42:05

They aren't as good parents at you OP. That is the only logical explanation. It couldn't possibly be because they have a different view of the local schools or because their own circumstances are different to yours. Perhaps you should give them some parenting tips?

officerhinrika Fri 08-Jul-16 13:42:34

Catholic school, great reputation? For what? Dogma & outdated values perhaps. I would never send my kids to a religious institution so for me YABU.

SirChenjin Fri 08-Jul-16 13:42:46

Why don't you ask the parents in question Jack? You obviously feel very strongly about their poor choices - I'm sure that they will happily explain them to you, and that way you won't have to wonder about it on MN.

SimplyNigella Fri 08-Jul-16 13:43:05

You aren't factoring in that parents don't necessarily have a choice- you don't get allocated your first choice of school automatically so if you are out of catchment you might not be able to get in.

Also, you might be able to give up work and homeschool but others might need that income to pay the mortgage and prioritise a roof over their child's head.

Jackpack Fri 08-Jul-16 13:43:43

I work two days during the week and at a weekend, not sure how that's relevant though.

BeALert Fri 08-Jul-16 13:43:54

My parents did exactly what you describe Jackpack. I had 7 years of absolute misery but apparently it was OK because it was easier for my parents :-/

MyFriendsCallMeOh Fri 08-Jul-16 13:44:58

My parents sent me to a catholic school (we are not a Catholic or even religious family). After 2 years of misery and blatant discrimination they saw sense and let me change.

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