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Another wibu. Me or the neighbours

(66 Posts)
pud1 Thu 07-Jul-16 21:29:54

Moved into a new house about 10 weeks ago. I have 2 dd's ages 6 and 8. Next door have a 2 yo and one on the way

Second week we were here we had 5 friends round. I went to bed at about 11. Oh and 2 others stayed up until about 2. They were nipping out to the garden for a cigarette. Our bedroom window is above were they were stood and I didn't hear them. Next day the neighbours complained about the noise. No music was playing just talking. I just assumed that they was talking loudly and apologised. The wife then came out and said that she is not sleeping due to pg and that the 2 yo gets up at 5 so she is probably just being grumpy.
I was a bit hmm as they have been having massive ground works done to the garden and it has been starting at about 7.30 every morning including weekends. We have had to put with it.
We picked up a new puppy today at at 8.45 pm my dd was playing in the garden with the pup. The pup was chasing her and she was laughing and making some noise. Not screaming. Next door husband came out to complain. He said that 2 yo had woken 3 times ( she has only been out for 20 mins). I instinctively apologised. He the saw the puppy and we chatted about him for a few mins and he went in.
Aibu to let the dd's play in the garden at this time. I can see this is going to be a problem in the summer hols. Should I be bringing them in earlier. They are normally in bed by8 on a school night but I do let them stay up in the holidays and they have been known to play our till about 9.30 in previous summer hols

Shizzlestix Thu 07-Jul-16 21:32:29

Yanbu. You have to be allowed to live your lives. It's ridiculous to complain so much UNLESS your child is creaming non stop like my neighbour's kid. Ruined a whole summer. Stop apologising, you're enabling their complaining.

Shizzlestix Thu 07-Jul-16 21:32:54

*screaming, even.

Chippednailvarnishing Thu 07-Jul-16 21:37:01

I'm guessing that by having friends going in and out of your back garden until 2am has pissed them right off. Even if you didn't hear your friends they clearly did and now they are going to be super sensitive to noise.

pud1 Thu 07-Jul-16 21:50:33

I think I am going to have to tell them that I will not be stopping the dd's playing in the garden if they complain again

pictish Thu 07-Jul-16 21:57:29

Yanbu. Live and let live. He sounds like a pain in the arse.

pud1 Thu 07-Jul-16 22:05:06

I wouldn't mind but the houses are large 1970's 4 bed detached so it's not as though there DS bedroom is right near our garden. It's the third room away from the garden

Earlgreywithmilk Thu 07-Jul-16 22:09:34

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Cantplaywontplay Thu 07-Jul-16 22:25:55


Elbekind Thu 07-Jul-16 22:34:01

I am very lucky in that I can sleep through anything, never wake up, never struggle sleeping and have never been woken by noise.
However, I can understand that if I were one of those people who struggle with sleeping and are light sleepers then I would be upset if my neighbour was allowing people to be outside at 2am. It doesn't really matter how loud they were. It isn't necessary to have people talking outside at that time.
Likewise, it is easy to avoid your DD playing in the garden at almost 9pm. That is late, it was uneccessary for her to be playing at that time and children playing and laughing is a disruptive sound, whether she was screaming or not.
Therefore, out of common courtesy I would avoid doing these things. It is a simple way of keeping your neighbours happy with very little of your own sacrifice.

Arkwright Thu 07-Jul-16 22:39:55

I would say don't allow your children out after 8p.m. Having people outside talking at 2a.m. would be annoying . When my children were younger they never went out before 10a.m. and were in by 8p.m.

70isaLimitNotaTarget Thu 07-Jul-16 23:07:11

Massive ground works at 7.30am including weekends?
There are laws and regulations regarding hours for works/maintainence.

If they've finished doing the work, tell them that you put up with their noise for weeks so they can pick the bones out of that if it's still going on, look up the regulations !

pud1 Thu 07-Jul-16 23:18:42

It is coming to the end now. I am talking huge digger digging down about 2 meters.

It seems from this that opinions are split. I really didn't think that general notice at 8.45 was unreasonable. I remember putting dd's to bed and hearing kids playing in summer. I just thought it was something that happened if you lived with neighbours

MammaTJ Thu 07-Jul-16 23:30:50

I would be cheesed of with a 6 or 8 year old outside at 9.30 pm!

It would make my 9 and 10 year old think they could go out to play, when they should be in bed, what with having to get up for school the next day.

TheGoodEnoughWife Thu 07-Jul-16 23:36:15

Those times were suggested for the holidays mamma.

Stop apologising! Really important as even if you feel like you could make a bit less noise the more you apologise the more protesting they will do.
The next time they complain bring up them having their garden works early in the morning. Remain polite but don't be a pushover!

pud1 Thu 07-Jul-16 23:37:02

They would only be out at 9.30 in the holidays. I am not talking every night but maybe if it's a nice day and we have had our evening meal outside and they are able to lie in. I am not talking every night

70isaLimitNotaTarget Thu 07-Jul-16 23:39:42

Noisy building work Mon-Fri 8-6 / Sat 8-1 /Sun prohibited.

If they want to be arses, tell them to feck right off with the noise (and the Law is on your side)

And their new baby won;t ever cry will it?

They are B very U.

I have NDN that have friends round, parties (teens) dogs, children (young) you just get on with it.
My DC aren't disturbed by it (though I do get angry at the Football Playing neighbours kids thump thump against the wall )

Duck90 Thu 07-Jul-16 23:44:15

Based on what you wrote they seem to very quick to complain, they should have given the benefit of a one off.

Children playing until late for the holidays - well holidays for children is 6 weeks.

They have a 2 year old and one one the way - soon it will be them with the noisy children, so you can complain back at them in a few years smile

BackforGood Thu 07-Jul-16 23:46:22

I would cut them a bit of slack. I don't do well on lack of sleep, and would not be impressed with people talking outside the window at 2am if I were a light sleeper with a baby.
That said, you are right, you have to expect a bit of noise and a bit of give and take with a baby. I think I would invite them round for a drink or bbq to try to get to know them before it gets uncomfortable for everyone.

MintyChops Thu 07-Jul-16 23:50:57

If your guests disturbed them until 2am then YABU. If your DD was shrieking until almost 9pm then YABU. I don't care if you thought they were all being quiet, they clearly weren't.

And if the garden work bothered you, you should have told them at the time.

Ottosaurus Thu 07-Jul-16 23:53:59

2am that was bu
I was that pregnant woman but a year ago , 0on the hottest weekends of the year had to close the windows due to awful neighbour noise at 2am... which made the room too hot to sleep... so noise or heat meant I couldn't sleep.. it was pretty distressing.

playing noises outside... Meh, not so much of a big deal unless it's just screeching.

the thing is when you make the noise, you don't appreciate the volume. I agree they are probably being over zealous as they are worried that your 2am parties are going to become a regular and stressful thing...

pud1 Thu 07-Jul-16 23:58:59

By her own admission they were not being loud at 2am. She said the she isn't sleeping and she heard voices in our garden ( the voices didn't wake her ) and that she is being grumpy because she isn't sleeping and DS is getting her up early. It was a one off a few weeks after we moved in.

EarthboundMisfit Fri 08-Jul-16 00:04:27

I actually wouldn't let my DC play out that late if the neighbours had young children.

AbyssinianBanana Fri 08-Jul-16 00:09:26

I'd just answer with a smile and say, you didn't think they were that noise sensitive, given their 10 hr a day, 7 days a week building work noise they've been causing

MintyChops Fri 08-Jul-16 00:12:46

You said they complained. I think YABU. Feel free to justify yourself, your noise etc but why ask on AIBU if you don't want opinions? hmm

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