I think my friend overreacted(88 Posts)
So I was standing on a chair cleaning the kitchen cupboards earlier on this week and DH was running around messing about with our youngest and he ran into the chair. The chair and I both went flying and I hit the tile floor really hard and to cut a long story short I have broken my wrist and sprained my ankle, my hip is also really bruised and swollen as well. It still really hurts however it was an accident.
DH feels awful about it and has been trying really hard to make it up to me because he feels awful.
He took a couple of days off work to help with the DCs but he had to go back today so I asked me friend if she would look after the youngest today.
When I asked her to help I told her briefly that I had fallen off a chair. I didn't go into anymore detail as it was over text which I tend to keep brief and I figured I would just tell her the story in person.
So she came over and took the youngest out for a bit and when she came back she asked me how it happened so I told her honestly.
She started getting upset and said she couldn't believe that I was still with DH and if her husband hurt her like that she would leave. I explained again that it was an accident and DH was very sorry about it. She said that I was just covering for him. I tried to explain myself again but she kept saying that she didn't believe me and I deserved better.
She then walked out of the house and came back saying she had called DH and our stories didn't match up. I asked her what he had said but she wouldn't tell me. She then told me that she was going to call the police if anything like this happens again and she walked out again.
DH came back about an hour later from work early really upset saying friend had called him and gave him a mouthful saying he was abusive and she was calling the police on him as I had told her that he hurts me all the time.
I have tried calling her since then but she won't answer but she has called two mutual friends telling them she was worried about me. But not mentioning why so they have then called me to check on me. One friend thinks this is ridiculous drama. However the other mutual friend agrees with friend and thinks DH lied to me about it being an accident.
I texted friend and asked her to talk to me as whilst I no she cares about me it has become a bit over-the top and I didn't really need a lot of drama at the moment. She text back saying that she was not over reacting. She also got mutual friend to text me saying that she agreed with friend.
So AIBU to think that friend is really overreacting. I'm really worried that she will call the police over this and that they may side with her.
Sorry should add DH is lovely and kind and would never hurt me and I don't know why friend is saying this about him.
Friend does have a tendency to be a bit dramatic but mutual friend is usually pretty level headed which is what has thrown me.
I also don't know what to do know to calm everything down.
Based on what you have said your friend is being unreasonable. The police have got far better things to do than pursue this if you tell them it was an accident and you are not taking it further.
I hope you recover quickly.
I really doubt that the police will be interested for long. Your poor bloke though his head must be battered. He was daft for horseplay while you were balanced on something but it was still an accident.
I don't know what to suggest re your friend, she must love you very much to have your back like that, however I would be wondering if she had something against your bloke in the first place to pop off like that.
Well for a start you need to drop your 'friend'...
Unless your husband has form for hurting you it has in the past, what is she thinking??
Major over-reaction on your friend's part. Accidents happen, unfortunately.
i hope you're not in too much pain and you recover quickly
Have there been any other accidents like this,unexplained bruising,fights,controlling behaviour etc that could be interpreted as a backstory of abuse? If yes,then i can see your friends point even if i don't agree with her method. You cannot bully a victim of abuse into asking for help,or ask the suspected abuser about it and telling them he always hurts you.
If not,then YANBU ,accidents happen and she had no right to question your oh,or to babble to other people about it.
Its hard to know without knowing your history with DH. I am assuming your friend has known you and your DH for sometime and yet for some reason believes your DH hurt you deliberately. When I think of my friends and their DHs there are some i would never ever suspect it was deliberate but there are some it would definitely cross my mind and im not sure I would buy my friend's story on it. But it depends on the specific circumstances. Wrt your friend, she thinks your DH would hurt you. There must be a reason for that.
Accidents happen, and your friends reaction is over the top.
Why would she say to your DH, you told her he hurts you all the time? If that is untrue l expect you are very angry as that is a terrible lie to make.
Is there any reason for her behavior? is she always dramatic?
Poor you.with friends like.....I would send the same text to each friend..firmly .again saying it was an accident.and that is the end of the matter
I think this is more about her. Is she perhaps reflecting something in her life into you?
Wishing you a speedy recovery.
YANBU - it seems a very extreme reaction for an accident with no other similar incidents. Does she normally like your Dh? I wouldnt worry about the police though.
Other friend might have got an over dramatised version of the events. Ask her over for a coffee and tell her exactly how it happened and that you're fine x
Glad she's not my friend. Me and dh were messing around having a pillow fight. I got a but over enthusiastic and fell forward at the same time as dh tried to clonk me with the pillow. Somehow I ended up.with a black eye, .complete accident. In your friends eyes she would want my dh locked up!
It's great she cares but she really should trust your judgement. Accidents happen!
I think she's slightly over reacting but she's also trying to look out for you.
How many battered wives have said 'it was an accident' 'he didn't mean it'.
I understand where she's coming from but she shouldn't have called him.
Tbh I'd be a little worried if I heard that story off a friend of mine too.
DH has never hurt me in the past and he really isn't anywhere near the type of person who would hurt anyone.
My friend is usually pretty dramatic but not usually this bad. I don't know if she hates my DH or not. She has never really mentioned or been bothered by him but she doesn't really talk about anyone very much unless they are relevant to the story she is telling at the time.
She might be overreacting, but she's clearly looking out for you. Does she has any reason to suspect your dh? Why does your other friend agree with her?
Some people love drama! She sounds like one of them.
Actually wtf? How does she paint this as looking after you? She walked out and left you to it (twice) and has gone off making a drama to your husband (lieing about whst each one said) and your friends. If you were being deliberatly injured she'd have put you at greater risk with her approach ffs.
She's a drama seeking missile of friendship destruction. Avoid.
Is your other friend also under the impression he hurts you all the time now? I had a friend try to convince people my dh was abusing me too, never got to the bottom of why and haven't recovered all the friendships we lost in the mire.
Just drop friend a and wait for the Police, if they show up at all. If friend b is level headed she will come to you in time
I think SIBU
Is she projecting any of her own issues onto you? Does her OH mistreat her??
I wouldn't do anything about your friend, let her realise she's being ridiculous and come to you. If any other mutual friends ask just tell the truth and say 'I'm not sure why friend has gotten the situation so wrong'
for you OP hope you're not into much pain
she had called DH and our stories didn't match up.
gave him a mouthful saying he was abusive and she was calling the police on him as I had told her that he hurts me all the time.
She sounds like a stirrer. Keep your distance / let the friendship drop.
Let true friends know the real story about the accident.
Stupid thing is, if there was anything going on, she's just made it highly unlikely that you would confide in her. Even if she genuinely believes that he hurt you on purpose, her reaction was really daft.
YANBU if this isn't part of a wider 'pattern'that she might have seen- and it sounds like it was a totally random accident.
It doesn't sound like she's looking out for you, but rather that she loves a drama. I'd tell her that the police would indeed get involved if she continues to spread these damaging rumours.
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