To think my anxiety is not normal?

(13 Posts)
footingfuckball Thu 07-Jul-16 18:14:36

I am plagued by anxiety about my job, am I making mistakes? Will they realise actually I'm shit and don't deserve the (senior management) role that I have. I worry about my background, does everyone recognise that I'm from a poor and dysfunctional background? Can they see it in on me? I'm constantly remembering things from my past that make me cringe and go white hot. The smallest comment from someone in the office on a Friday will ruin my entire weekend, I often talk aloud when deep in my worry stage as sometimes my thoughts kind of jump out.

An example happened just now, I'm on the way to meet a friend (just left the office) and I walk past a bar with 20 of my colleagues (different dept) outside having a drink. One shouts and invites me over, I shout back "I can't, meeting someone but thanks". Now I am literally filled with fear. Do they think I was rude? Are they all talking about me now? Should I look for another job?

This isn't normal, right?

familyfarm Thu 07-Jul-16 18:20:33

No it isn't, and the good thing is you have recognised it so it can be treated.

I would recommend you self refer yourself to a counselling service on the NHS or you could ask your GP for a referral. It is easily treated so please do get it treated.

ToastDemon Thu 07-Jul-16 18:22:45

You poor thing you sound like you are really suffering with this.
I second looking for some sort of help, you deserve to feel so much better than this and to enjoy peace of mind.

MiffleTheIntrovert Thu 07-Jul-16 18:27:44

Is it solely your work that you have anxiety about?

Have you heard of imposter syndrome?

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2013/nov/09/impostor-syndrome-oliver-burkeman

Mouikey Thu 07-Jul-16 18:30:23

Agree with others about seeking some help. But it is totally normal to feel undeserving when you get a new job especially if it is a promotion with responsibility. You may make some mistakes but don't worry that's about learning and you manager will be there to support you (and managers of a similar level - why not set up a lunch date with one of them?). They won't know about your past unless you tell them and no you weren't rude to turn it down!

Try not to over analyse it (hard I know), but if you are doing things wrong they will tell you pretty quickly, maybe set up regular 1:2:1s with your manager to get feedback???

Fomalhaut Thu 07-Jul-16 18:49:54

Oh my. Are you me? I feel like this! Constantly ashamed of everything I've done, tying myself in knots of self loathing.

Hope you find something that works .. Will watch this thread for suggestions

Babyroobs Thu 07-Jul-16 18:57:33

I am like this too. I work in healthcare. I am on my annual leave week this week but I saw an obituary in the local paper from one of my patientswhom I had looked after very briefly on the last day I was at work. I immediately started thinking back to my last shift, had I done anything wrong, missed anything etc, was I to blame . It is totally irrational as I am really conscientous, but I always think I must be to blame somehow. To be honest it is ruining my life, and I know I need to address it. I hope you manage to get some help as it is a horrible thing.

ktalgfdk Thu 07-Jul-16 19:03:06

I am the same as this, I'm just starting out at work but constantly overthink what I'm saying/have said/will said... Do people like me etc. It's exhausting! Hugs

HumphreyCobblers Thu 07-Jul-16 19:04:03

Cognitive therapy and/or anti depressants will stop this. You don't have to live with it.

It is the best feeling in the world when some perspective returns and you can get on with living your life again. Do seek some help.

yorkshapudding Thu 07-Jul-16 19:05:46

Some anxiety is absolutely normal (and some people are just more prone to worrying than others as it's part of their personality) but if your anxiety is frequently causing you distress and interfering with your day to day functioning and/or relationships then that suggests you might need some support. I work in Mental Health and have treated a lot of people with varying degrees of anxiety. I would recommend the following.

1.)Ask your GP about CBT (Cognitive Behaviour Therapy) or Google whether there is an IAPT service near you that you can self refer to.

2.)Lots of people also find Yoga helpful for managing their anxiety.

3.)Adult colouring books can also be very relaxing and provide distraction from your anxious thoughts.

4.)The Mental Health Foundation have some really good relaxation podcasts that you can access for free on their website.

5.)Have a look into Mindfulness. It can be very useful or anxiety. The book "Mindfulness: a practical guide to finding peace in a frantic world" by Mark Williams is a good starting point.

Best of luck flowers

Fomalhaut Thu 07-Jul-16 21:36:58

Antidepressants take the edge off it a bit but I've not found cbt useful at all. It seems to assume a certain mode of thinking that I can't relate to...

KellyBoo800 Fri 08-Jul-16 19:44:25

I definitely understand this and it's really not uncommon - pp mentioned imposter syndrome and it sounds to me like you have an extreme version of this.

If it helps, my boss is a very senior woman in a very high governmental position, and she has confessed to me that she definitely has imposter syndrome! And I certainly do - constantly feel like I've faked my way into a good job and that any day now I'll be caught out!! It's worth speaking to your GP if you feel this is having such a negative impact on your life though. I hope you get the help you want x

Songbird90 Sun 10-Jul-16 11:25:21

You sound like me. It could possibly be OCD.

OCD isn't just cleaning everything within an inch of its life. Your compulsion could be playing the scenario over and over again to reassure yourself. Google 'Pure O' OCD. It could have some answers? I was originally diagnosed with depression. Then Anxiety and only recently has the correct diagnosis of OCD happened. Good luck OP smile

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