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To not remember much of my childhood

(56 Posts)
Psycobabble Thu 07-Jul-16 12:54:37

Well not an aibu really but thought I might get some answers here smile studying long term memory at the moment and it got me thinking along with a post someone made on here along the lines of "you will genrally remember wether your childhood was good or bad but not individual stuff "

It really did get me wondering if my memory is bad in comparison to other people because my memories of my childhood are not clear at all !! I worry about it sometimes !! I often read autobiographies ( reading one right now ) and the detail people go into such as remembering numerous conversations they have had always amazes me .altho I appreciate it may be bulked out in order to add to the book!

I of course do have memories and remember places we went clothes I had old friends school etc etc but nothing in great detail like I can see my old primary school in my head almost like in pictures but i couldn't recall for example a conversation I had during that time yet people often seem able to do this

I did have a period were there was a serious family illness that was a very difficult time for us for q very long while and I developed anxiety after this so I do sometimes wonder if I had to much of a foggy head at the time and maybe that's why I don't remember a lot

So I'm not sure if my memory is bad or normal

Do you remember exchanges and conversations with others clearly from when you were young ??

Sorry this is very geeky but I find it interesting !!

HallowedMimic Thu 07-Jul-16 12:58:08

No, I don't remember much.

I'd say 90% of conversations recounted in autobiographies are made up or embroidered.

Littlepeople12345 Thu 07-Jul-16 12:59:45

My childhood was shit so I'm not sure if I'm just blocking it out but I have about 4 memories of my dad, he died when I was 11. I remember one birthday where I got a pushchair, one Christmas morning and I remember getting hit by a car. That's mostly it. I'm not sure I would want to remember anymore of it.

No idea if that's normal or not.

FelixFelix Thu 07-Jul-16 13:07:27

I don't remember much at all. A couple of things but hardly anything. My DP on the other hand can remember everything which I find very odd! I think I have quite a bad memory though as its not just my childhood which I don't remember that well. Even when dd was a baby (she's only 2.5) I don't remember that much.

Psycobabble Thu 07-Jul-16 13:17:52

Yeh felix I think that's me generally too bad memory all round when I come to think of it !

waitingforsomething Thu 07-Jul-16 13:22:35

I had a nice childhood for the most part but only have general memories certainly not specific conversations.
I remember what my pre-school looked like and some of the toys. I remember my reception class teacher who I loved and I remember her playing the guitar while we sang 'there's a hole in my bucket dear liza'. I also remember being in a class assembly about the colour 'yellow' and singing 'yellow mellow' and 'yellow submarine'. I remember falling over and cutting my chin open when I was chasing a friend. That's about it before secondary school age which I remember well!

HazelBite Thu 07-Jul-16 13:27:04

I remember a lot. My earliest memory was being horribly car sick, according to my late Mother I was about 2.5 at the time. I remember Xmas and what presents I had aged 3, and from then on it is all fairly significant events, I amaze my family about the amount I do remember.
However I do not remember conversations, and whilst people do perhaps remember the "essence" and the nature of the subject talked about, I would think it unlikely that they would remember precise conversations.
Poetic licence IMO

justalittlelemondrizzle Thu 07-Jul-16 13:28:05

I've always worried about this. And I think this is why I am constantly taking photos as when I look at old photos it gives me a nostalgic feeling but absolutely no memory of it. I don't remember any conversations. Just snapshot like memories. I too can remember places like im looking at a photo but nothing else.
Unfortunately this seems to have continued into adulthood. For example I don't remember any conversations/speeches at my wedding 8 years ago. I remember being there and it was a great day but not individual stuff.
I remember only limited stuff from when dd's were little. They're only 7 & 8. It makes me sad that when I'm older I won't be able to tell detailed stories like my nanna used to to me.

nonline Thu 07-Jul-16 13:29:22

I would have said I remember my (good) childhood very well - people, places, events etc. but don't remember the actual words of conversations - unless the conversation itself is the memory {starts to recall the only couple of times work was criticised in primary school...}

Paintedhandprints Thu 07-Jul-16 13:30:10

I remember most of my childhood and certain conversations. But a lot of the time was everyday, mundane stuff which tends to blur into one. Things that are memorable tend to be really good, fun, exciting stuff or bad stuff.

LiveLifeWithPassion Thu 07-Jul-16 13:42:29

I had a happy childhood. I have quite a lot of memories and I remember some conversations. I even remember some pictures I drew and work that I did but they were all significant and important. (I won some school competitions, wrote a rubbish story on purpose as some kind of rebellious act, being told off by neighbours, chatting to elderly neighbours, defended myself when I was Mary in the nativity play and kids accused me of fancying Joseph - quite traumatic for a 5 yr old smile, and a lot more)

thundercake Thu 07-Jul-16 13:45:05

I remember very little of my childhood and feel like I have a crap memory in general. I seriously wonder if the years of binge drinking in my youth did damage. DH and his siblings all have incredible memories and come from a booze free background. The other day his granny was telling me about a lunch she had in a cafe in the 70's, mushroom soup and garlic bread apparently.

Psycobabble Thu 07-Jul-16 13:48:22

Ok so I seem similar to quite a lot of you so maybe it's quite normal

That's it too with ds some of it is a complete blur ! Even some of the milestones I have no clue when they happened ! take a lot of photos though which will hopefully prompt memories in the future .

It also made me think about how I try do lots of nice things and make memories with ds that he won't even remember sad

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen Thu 07-Jul-16 13:49:01

My memories are very detailed, even smells and what people were wearing etc. I remember a lot. My earliest memory is when I was 3.5.

itmustbemyage Thu 07-Jul-16 13:58:05

I remember almost nothing of my young childhood up to about the age of 10, apart from some very specific occasions but I have a generally rubbish memory even now and rely on my DH for a lot of prompts to remember stuff. I had a very happy childhood by all accounts with a close extended family and the photo's I have from me as a child show me having lots of fun, so I wish I could remember. I was extremely close to my mum and dad from when I remember and all my adult life.
My sister ( so pretty much the same childhood experiences) remembers most of her childhood and still has a phenomenal memory now I think people are just different.
Having a bad memory of my own childhood has been a comfort with my own children, as if we were having a bad day and I was moaning at them, I used to think well they probably won't remember one day in amongst a generally happy childhood.

EllaHen Thu 07-Jul-16 14:01:21

I remember snippets.

They say that memory is helped when other senses and emotions come into play. If I smell a certain lipstick I will be taken back to my dressing table when I was 14/15.

Strangely, I don't remember my first day at school, or indeed my first day at any of the schools I attended (we moved around a lot). I wonder why that is - I must have felt anxious.

Yes, memory is strange. Most of my childhood memories were of the good times. Interesting.

JoffreyBaratheon Thu 07-Jul-16 14:05:04

I remember my early childhood was a lot of clarity and my brother who is 5 years older than me, often turns to me to answer questions about our childhood, as even he has spotted I have a good memory.

But that is up to the point our mum died. She died when I was 10. There is a fair bit of blank space - but some broad memories - mainly of school, not home (and I loathed school, as well as home). I do still have nightmares set in my secondary school and I'm 50-odd. But there are a few missing years after my dad remarried and I was very unhappy, in qa stepfamily.

My memories pick up again after I left home.

Maybe your brain does that to kind of save you from the worst of it..?

JoffreyBaratheon Thu 07-Jul-16 14:10:16

Forgot to say but in the past year I have re-found a couple of childhood friends and we message on FB, about our memories. Both can remember stuff with great clarity I had long forgotten. I find it fascinating talking to them.

The second friend was a boy in my comprehensive school class, so we sat maybe a couple of metres from eachother, every day for 5 years and had a few lessons in common, being in the same form. His memories are remarkably similar to mine, although we couldn't be 'friends' in the 1970s, as a boy and a girl - and we did really like eachother and had a lot in common, but our lives would have been made hell if we were openly friendly to eachother - so we had no clue about eachother's inner lives, at the time, or much idea of eachother's home lives and how that impacted school. Yet he also has a lot more positive memories than me, of the same places, people and events and that makes me wonder how much of memory isn't clouded by personality as well..?

I have been on a FB group for people from my old infant/junior school and am actually stunned by some people's memories of the self same teacher/time/classroom - they are almost all of them full of nostalgia for a teacher I remember as a total dickhead. And they have fond memories of things which, I am certain, at the time, they hated/bitched about. So someone is delusional but I can't decide if it's me or them. ;o)

mirime Thu 07-Jul-16 17:05:21

Memory isn't very reliable, and your mind will often fill in the blanks.

Saying that, my first memory is from about 1 when we moved house. I remember running round shouting in the empty rooms and liking the echoes. Then there's just odds and ends until I went to nursery when there start to be lots of memories, many around injustices and/or getting told off - such as why couldn't girls play in the wet sand, and getting told off for weeing in the playground when astonishingly by today's standards we were locked out at playtime with no teacher/nursery nurse to keep an eye on us and nothing except doing as we were told to stop us walking off school premises!

specialsubject Thu 07-Jul-16 17:34:48

I don't remember much either. Normal and happy childhood, no unusual issues, but I've no memories before about age 7 and only patchy ones of school right through. And not much interest in revisiting it either!

oh, and I've had only tiny amounts of alcohol, never been drunk and none for years as I don't like it so not that.

short term and organisational memory is fine, just long term doesn't seem brilliant.

Psycobabble Thu 07-Jul-16 19:38:04

Iv had that with school friends too sure that they didn't get on with certain people for example but completely deny it as adults however as I say my memory is bad so possible I just made it up in my head !

Thankyou very your answers ladies very interesting smile

MadgeMak Thu 07-Jul-16 19:50:48

I don't remember much from childhood either, and the few stand out memories are of my mum losing her temper and bring cruel towards me. I honestly could not say for sure whether my childhood was on the whole happy or not, I can't remember being loved and shown affection but I remember so little that I just don't know, and my mum was very loving towards my children so that makes me question what I remember. I hug, kiss and tell my kids I love them ALL the time, and always apologise and explain if I get shouty, I really don't want them to only have bad memories like me.

littleshirleybeans Thu 07-Jul-16 19:58:21

I'm quite renowned for my amazing memory and the specific details I can remember.
Only applies to my childhood and yesteryear, I can't remember a thing from last week hahahaha!

gamerchick Thu 07-Jul-16 20:21:13

Not really. My first ever memory at around 2 was of fear and being scared to go into the room my parents were in. I peeped round the door and they just sat silent and glared at me, I can still picture my mothers face. I look at photos and the only ones I smile in are school ones aside from a couple of baby photos. I feel sorry for the young me like it's a different person.

I remember more being with my grandparents, I properly loved my nanna grin

I don't think I want to remember. The past is the past.

arethereanyleftatall Thu 07-Jul-16 20:26:38

I remember a good childhood but that's it. I can remember almost nothing from before I was about 14. I can remember things - the triangular drinks at ballet, my friends blue sweets, the layout of my school etc - but I can't remember any emotions or any important stuff really. I find it quite scary that my girls will most likely remember nothing of the lovely time we have had since they were born.

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