Hi all,
I moved back to the UK after my marriage broke down 6 years ago with my 2 kids. I have settled DS2, now age 11, who has autism, in a small caring through train independent school which I'm happy with. DS1, nearly 13 years old, goes to a different independent through train, selective, higher quality education, better facilities etc. DS2 would not be accepted into that school. The 2 schools are 13 miles from our house & 3 miles away from each other.
My issue is that DS1's school, although supposedly 'better', has a lot of aggro and I don't like it. He's been going there for 4 years, and I've been trying to persuade him to change schools for nearly 3 years. This school creates a lot of stress in my life, and it would benefit our family if both boys could attend the same school. But DS1 is adament he doesn't want to change as he's already had a lot of disruption in his life.
Since enrolling my DS1 at the school, I have been diagnosed with chronic headaches/migraines and driving is a trigger. I have looked into moving house closer to the schools but it's such an expensive area I can't afford it. When we first made the decision to send DS1 to that particular school, he said he'd take the school bus 3 days a week, but we found the service wasn't great and he backed out leaving me having to drive him every day. He's adament he won't do occasional boarding either, e.g. just 1 night a week, because he 'hates' boarding - he says there are so few boarders there's usually no-one of his age to play with so he's bored and lonely.
I feel like I want to put my foot down and tell DS1 that he must move to the same school as DS2. However I do understand that it might be hard for him to be in the same school as his SN brother. Also DS2's school is in the process of expanding and they currently have very few pupils of DS1's age for him to be friends with.
Usually my parenting style is not too authoritarian, more attachment style, so DS1 is definitely not accustomed to me 'forcing' him to make a particular life choice. If I tried to make him change schools he'd likely be very unhappy indeed.
But I'm finding it hard to cope year after year with DS1's school as I so strongly dislike all the aggro. I regret the day I ever enrolled him there.
Anyway, I guess this is more of a WWYD? I don't know if I'm being too soft, or if I should respect my son's choice even though it makes me unhappy?
Thanks for reading this far!!
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AIBU?
aibu to want ds1 to change schools?
21 replies
Snowrose1311 · 07/07/2016 07:33
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