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to think it's OK for a guy to be in the ladies if he's with his daughter?

(360 Posts)
laurenwiltxx Wed 06-Jul-16 22:34:33

I'm reading alot about the issue with trans and toilets recently and got me thinking about times my brother has had to take his daughter to the toilet and was taking her to the Men's (when disabled toilets weren't there or out of order ect) and I protested he take her into the women's as it wasn't appropriate considering men have there things out at the urinals and things, and seats are more likely to be peed on ect. So he began doing so and got alot of looks from women. Ive been thinking about it alot more and do understand its a really hard one. What would you say daddies in the ladies with daughters or should take them in the men's?

ABCAlwaysBeCunting Wed 06-Jul-16 22:35:58

How old is she? If over about 7 then I would have thought she could go in alone.

Kummerspeck Wed 06-Jul-16 22:36:27

In my family we always used the appropriate loo for the adult and the child went with them regardless of whether it was their sex or not

HarryPottersMagicWand Wed 06-Jul-16 22:37:42

Seriously? Is this for real?

I've never known a man take a girl into the ladies toilets, of course he shouldn't hmm. DH takes DD into the men's, just as I take DS into the ladies. Presumably I shouldn't be taking him into the men's?

RJnomore1 Wed 06-Jul-16 22:37:59

What seriously?

Of course an adult male should not be going into the ladies.

Dh took the dds carefully into men's toilets when he has to with no issue.

Kummerspeck Wed 06-Jul-16 22:38:01

I don't think it is right for an adult male to be in a ladies loo even if he is with a small girl, nor for a woman to be in the men's with a boy

ABCAlwaysBeCunting Wed 06-Jul-16 22:38:03

But I don't have kids so that's a guesstimate. Personally, I'd be a bit hmm at a lone bloke in the ladies' otherwise.

SecretNutellaFix Wed 06-Jul-16 22:38:12

Over 7/8 then in to the ladies on her own. Under that, then into the men's with Daddy.
Same as if it's a boy with their Mum.

dimots Wed 06-Jul-16 22:38:50

My daughter always went in the men's with her dad.until she was about 6. He would never have gone in the ladies!

CocktailQueen Wed 06-Jul-16 22:38:53

The adult goes into the correct loo, and takes the child with them. I wouldn't take my Ds into the men's loos!!

WorraLiberty Wed 06-Jul-16 22:40:39

Don't be so ridiculous.

Of course he should take her into the men's toilets.

My DS manages perfectly well with is step-daughter.

They simply use a cubicle and they are no more wet or disgusting than most ladies' cubicles in a public loo.

Noonesfool Wed 06-Jul-16 22:40:48

"There things"


beetroot2 Wed 06-Jul-16 22:41:25

I would have sent daughter in to the ladies, period. If I were a dad, I'd ask another woman to help out. I wouldn't have taken a girl into the mens at all.

BertPuttocks Wed 06-Jul-16 22:43:14

Men go in to the Mens' toilets.

Women go into the Womens' toilets.

" seats are more likely to be peed on"

The obvious solution would be for your brother to check and clean the seat where needed.


snowy508601 Wed 06-Jul-16 22:43:35

This has to be a joke!!
How would it be ok for an adult to go into the wrong toilets?

omri Wed 06-Jul-16 22:43:41

What others have said- child goes in to the loo for the adult. After age 8 or so goes in on their own with adult waiting outside.

I would be shocked at a man coming in with a young girl to the ladies. Just as I would never dream of bringing young ds into the gents!

WorraLiberty Wed 06-Jul-16 22:44:25

If I were a dad, I'd ask another woman to help out.

You'd ask a complete stranger to supervise your daughter going to the toilet?


KindDogsTail Wed 06-Jul-16 22:44:47

I don't agree that he should take her into the men's because there the men are exposed at the urinals.

In the ladies' there are cubicles so the women will not be seen by the Daddy.

But recently I came across several that were for men and women, (all with cubicles.)hmmsad

ouryve Wed 06-Jul-16 22:45:32

No, an adult male doesn't use the ladies.

I have a 10 year old with learning disabilities who can't be left unsupervised - he's incontinent so needs to be changed and i can't leave him outside when I need a wee, myself. I plan my days out around accessible loos. If there is a family bathroom (a lot of intu shopping centres are good for this) I might use that instead of the disabled, so long as he can reach the sinks and there's somewhere to dispose of his pads. If all this is not possible, I take him into the ladies'!

I can understand the reticence at having to run the gamut of men at the urinal with a girl who may be old enough to find that embarrassing, but it's better to wait until it's all clear than to march into the wrong loo!

Lurkedforever1 Wed 06-Jul-16 22:46:15

Is it really so confusing ffs? The clue is in the name, women, men, disabled. Not use whichever you feel entitled to because you have reproduced. As your brother will not be a woman, and presumably isn't disabled either, the process of elimination means he should only be using the men's.


WorraLiberty Wed 06-Jul-16 22:47:15

You can't see anything when men are standing at the urinals, except their backs.

They just poke their penis' out of their zips. It's not like they've got their trousers round their ankles.

You simply guide the child quickly to the cubicle.

PinkyofPie Wed 06-Jul-16 22:48:21

No, an adult male doesn't use the ladies.

This. 100%

I've never been in a men's loo but I'm assuming their penises are not visible when using the urinal, rather than flapping about wildly for all to see?

It really depends on how old she is, I mean is she old enough to start going alone yet?

ouryve Wed 06-Jul-16 22:48:24

And, TBH, I'd prefer to send a NT 7yo girl into the ladies' alone, so long as there's not a gigantic queue that's likely to make her panic.

ilovesooty Wed 06-Jul-16 22:48:56

If she doesn't have a disability he shouldn't be taking her into the disabled toilet.

sharknad0 Wed 06-Jul-16 22:49:27

I can't see what the problem is. There are still quite a few places where the baby changing table is in the ladies toilets for a start, so where do you think dads go? I have no issue with a dad taking his 4 year old in the ladies, they are marginally cleaner for a start. They are also full of cubicles, what do you think a man can see that he shouldn't? If you believe the guy is a creep, then I would be more worried about his own child than anything else.

I agree that a 7 or 8 yo can go alone, but again, nothing wrong with her dad opening the door and checking the room before letting her alone. I wouldn't leave my own young child in a public toilet alone, would you?

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